


Changing Streams

by one_blue_eye



Series: To Do or Not To Do [2]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005), Torchwood
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Ianto, Crossover, Drama, Fix-It, Ianto's second chance, M/M, Male Slash, Minor Character Death, Part of an epic series, Romance, Some Crack, Time Travel, Timey-Wimey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-10
Updated: 2016-11-10
Packaged: 2018-08-30 04:12:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 73,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8518060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/one_blue_eye/pseuds/one_blue_eye
Summary: Part 2 of the series: To Do or Not to DoWhen Ianto dies, he is sent back into his own timeline by a mysterious all-powerful force and is given the chance to change his future. He must decide what he will attempt to change and what he will not but he needs to be careful if he ever wants to see Jack again.  A look into Ianto's Journal as he reruns his life from 18 onward, changing some things and desperately trying to recreate others, all in the name of love.*This is the part where Ianto must let go of the past and reach towards what he really wants for his future.





	1. Moving On (Part Two)

**Author's Note:**

> All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. All hale RTD, THE BBC and associated minions.

**LATER THAT DAY** , while Tosh was reviewing the surveillance footage of the Plas she noticed a blue phone box appear out of thin air and then she saw a familiar looking young man step out. Then she saw something that really shocked her. He looked right at the camera and then waved. She saw his mouth moving and realized he was talking to the camera!

 

She paused the footage and called for Jack with some urgency in her voice. “ _Jack_ … you should take a look at this…”

 

“It’s the same guy… I think,” she said as she rewound the feed. She hit play and then stood back and watched as Jack experienced a rollercoaster of emotions, _surprise-excitement-disappointment-disbelief-excitement-joy-lust_. He patted her on the back exuberantly and sauntered off to his office whistling a happy tune.

 

She had no idea what had just happened but apparently it was a good thing.

 

 

TW **X** DW

 

 

While I was walking home, I realized a couple of things.

 

Things had changed.

 

No more would I merely wait around for something to happen, or watch invisibly from the sidelines. And I certainly wouldn’t be sitting at home crying the blues.

 

Those days were over.

 

It was time to go back to work.

 

I’d decided to check my messages while walking home. And to my utter surprise ( _not_ ) the Doctor was a bit off with his timing. He’d returned me a week and a half late.

 

People had started to worry, namely Colin, the Inspector and my sister.

 

My brain lurched, my guilt meter tilted.

 

Oh, fuck. _Colin_.

 

I had no idea how I was going to deal with this.

 

I had taken a few days off so no one noticed at first but when I didn’t show up to work, I didn’t call and even Colin didn’t know where I was Inspector Donaldson had done a search, had come up with nothing and was seriously concerned.  I’d never missed work and I certainly didn’t **_not_** call.

 

They were worried and I had no idea what to say, how to explain where I’d been. Now, I had a very good idea how Jack felt; _it’s an interesting turn around_ I thought.

 

So I lied.

 

I said, “I took some time by myself to think about my future.” It was mostly true. Just not the part about the remote cottage and the solitary week of deep thought.

 

The Inspector asked if I’d had any miraculous insights or made any decisions during my _deep thought_ retreat.

 

I smiled and I nodded. I started summing up my present situation. “I’ve completed my degree, I’ve got some good work experience and I’ve made some amazing friends. But it’s time I move on.” I said quietly.

 

“I agree," he said gruffly. "You need to follow your dreams son. You’ve been holding back. So what’s it to be?”

 

“Torchwood.” I said. I told him about my interest in Torchwood and he groaned. He wasn’t surprised – _not in the least_ – he said – not after that gleam he saw in my eyes the last time Torchwood swooped into our lives and made a mess.

 

So he wrote me a letter of recommendation and through ‘the channels that be’ he contacted Torchwood on my behalf. He harangued and he badgered and he insisted until they put him through to one Captain Jack Harkness.

 

All the while, I sat and I listened, for over an hour and half he’d argued his way through level after level of bureaucracy. Then when he finally got through to Torchwood he started to lose his patience and then he started to raise his voice. It became quite obvious that Jack wasn’t listening and he certainly wasn’t interested in hiring some _copper_.

 

“Tell him my name,” I whispered.

 

So he did. Then his eyes narrowed and he sat back down. Now, he was the one listening and Jack was the one doing the talking. Only it didn’t sound like arguing anymore. It sounded like wheedling and backpedaling and apologizing.

 

“Sure,” said the Inspector quietly, “I’ll fax his CV and references over a.s.a.p.” He hung up the phone, crossed his arms and sat back in his chair.

 

“Anything you want to tell me?” He raised an eyebrow quite impressively high.

 

I thought about it, tossed it around and came up with nothing, believable at any rate. So I just shrugged and said, “I ran into him.” Only my voice squeaked at the end so he knew I was bullshitting. I just smiled though and kept my trap shut.

 

“Right.” He sighed, gave me a slightly disgusted look and tossed the paper work at me. “Fax this a.s.a.p. Numbers up there.” He just shook his head.

 

“Inspector… I…”

 

“Save it. You owe me a beer. And a story. Better be one hellova story mate.”

 

So as it turned out he wasn’t actually disgusted with me for wanting to join Torchwood he was just pissed that I wasn’t telling him the whole story.

 

 

TW **X** DW

 

 

Two days after I faxed my resume, references, transcripts and letter of interest I got a fax back. It was hand written in Jack’s distinctive scrawl, brief and to the point.

 

**_To: Ianto Jones_ **

**_Torchwood job interview_ **

**_Monday – 1pm_ **

**_J_ ** **_JH_ **

****

.

 

* * *

_TW    Ianto’s Journal    TW    Ianto’s Journal   TW_

* * *

 

_September 25, 2005_

_Had drinks with the Inspector this afternoon. He is one determined son of a bitch. He badgered me for hours over my deep thought retreat as he calls it. After nearly pouring half the contents of the bar down my throat he finally confessed that he thought I’d had some kind of crazy adventure or just gone off to sow some seeds. Who the hell says that anymore? Sow some seeds._

_He’s one perceptive bastard. Damn him! And damn me! I didn’t say anything. He took one look at me and started hooting “ah ha” over and over again. I’m so glad no one knew what he was ah ha-ing about. Thank the gods that he loves me. He swore he wouldn’t ever tell another soul._

_I need to not drink. Especially, if I want to lie convincingly. I suck._

_Tomorrow is the big day. I need to chill out. I need to sleep._

_I can’t wait to find out how Jack Harkness gives a job interview._

_I definitely won’t be getting any sleep tonight._

**_To do:_ ** _repent you miserable cheating prick – repent!_

**_Not to do:_ ** _get some sleep you look like shit, don’t be a wanker tomorrow_

 

* * *

_TW    Ianto’s Journal    TW    Ianto’s Journal   TW_

* * *

 

 

 

 

I was totally calm, cool and collected until Monday morning. Then I started freaking out. I certainly didn’t get any sleep so I looked like hell. Then I couldn’t decide what to wear so it took me forever to get ready. I was nauseous so it took me ages to get anything down. I was so jumpy I nearly got in a car accident on the way to the precinct. I was a disaster waiting to happen.

 

Once I got there though, my two lifeboats talked me down off my proverbial cliff and I got it together. I just needed to hear **_you-are-awesome_** and **_you-were-born-for-this_** a few times from someone who really meant it. Once I’d convinced myself of my awesomeness I had a coffee and a muffin and I was good to go. I was ready to take on Jack Harkness.

 

I arrived fifteen minutes early as usual so I took a leisurely stroll around the Plas. I knew he would be watching so I looked up at the camera and smiled. I had on my _I’m-a-cheeky-bastard_ face and my favorite _I-am-sexy-as-hell_ suit and I felt right as rain. I was riding the crest of the _I-am-so-awesome_ high induced wave and I wasn’t coming down.

 

I saw him step off the lift platform. I’d been expecting a grand entrance especially after I’d smiled at the camera. He was decked out in his RAF greatcoat of course and he looked smoking hot. He smiled broadly as he strode over to me.

 

“Jones, Ianto Jones… so nice to see you.” He said as he extended his hand.

 

I shook his hand firmly and replied, “Captain Harkness, it’s a pleasure to see you again and thank you for granting me an interview.”

 

“You could’ve just called. You didn’t need to go through regular channels. You already come highly recommended.”

 

“Thank you Sir but my Inspector insisted on… helping. He’s a bit protective – paternally protective.” I clarified.

 

He nodded and smiled. “It’s always nice having someone on your side. You two sound close.”

 

“Yes, Sir. He’s been very supportive. I’m very lucky to have met him.” I said comfortably. Jack was leading me towards the tourist office entrance. The Plas was full of people coming and going from their lunch break.

 

“We’ll just take the back door since it’s so busy out here.”

 

I nodded. I’d been thinking about how to handle situations like this. I was well aware of this entrance but he’d be expecting a reaction from me. This kind of thing would start happening more and more so I needed to decide whether I was going to act surprised all of the damn time or be a _nothing ever surprises me_ kind of guy. It was time to remake myself again.

 

I decided to go with the _take-it-in-stride_ approach. Jack led me into the dark, dusty little office and reached behind the counter for the _not so subtle_ red button. He was watching me closely out of the corner of his eye for any reaction at all. I was standing with my hands behind my back, relaxed but attentive. When he hit the button and the door slid open I just smiled at him.

 

“You knew that would happen.”

 

Sometimes he was surprisingly perceptive. I nodded and reminded him, “You said this was the back door.”

 

“Yes, I did. Come on, just follow me unless you’d like to lead the way?” He was fishing or maybe just joking, I wasn’t sure.

 

I just chuckled and followed behind him.

 

He led me through the cog doors, quickly introduced me to Tosh, Owen and Susie and then led me up to his office. He closed the door, told me to sit and he sat down at his desk. He had my resume and other documents haphazardly strewn across his desk.

 

“So, Jones, Ianto Jones what’s your specialty?”

 

“How much time do we have?”

 

“Oh? That many?” He leaned forward and grinned eagerly.

 

“Too many to count, Sir.” I deadpanned.

 

He smirked, stuck out the tip of his tongue and then sighed. “Let’s start with your resume shall we?”

 

“At your pleasure, Sir.”

 

“That sounds promising.”

 

I raised both of my eyebrows in question and allowed a slight smile to curl my lips.

 

He smiled and scoured the paper in his hands for something to talk about. He stopped reading, grabbed a pen and made a little star in the margin. “It says here you’ve had weapons training?”

 

“Yes, Sir.”

 

“Jack, please.”

 

“Yes, Sir.”

 

He frowned but continued, “What kind?”

 

“Mostly small arms, some crossbow and semiautomatics.”

 

“You any good?”

 

“I’ll let you be the judge.”

 

“Oh, really?” He sounded intrigued.

 

“Sure. Just make an appointment for next week and I’ll come in for a demonstration if you like.”

 

“I can’t wait.”

 

Neither could I. I knew _exactly_ what he had in mind.

 

“What else would you like to know?”

 

“Hmm?” He was obviously lost in thought. I could only hope he’d been daydreaming about all the salacious things he wanted to do to me down in the shooting range.

 

“From my resume?”

 

“Oh, yes,” he laughed. “Ah… field training. How much experience do you have?

 

“I’ve been working with the Inspector for several years. He’s taken me under his wing. I’ve learned a lot from him.

 

He nodded.

 

“My strongest areas are resourcefulness, logical reasoning…”

 

He held up a hand. I’m gonna stop you right there. I don’t want the psych test version. Tell me about your adventure with the Doctor. That’ll tell me everything I need to know.

 

“Okay. Fair enough…” I told him, in detail, what happened, everything from my meeting him on the Plas, going to lunch, catching Margaret, the TARDIS talking to me, needing a containment unit and then I skipped over to dropping Margaret the egg off at the hatchery. I had been talking a mile a minute and I confess I hadn’t been watching him very carefully. I’d been lost in memory.

 

Somewhere along the telling his face had gone white, deathly white, bordering on sickly, vomitously green. His knuckles looked ready to split as he gripped the arms of his chair with sheer desperation.

 

I looked from his claw like hands to his ghostly face and then back at his hands.

 

“You,” _gulp_ , “remember now, don’t you?” I said in my tiniest most tentative voice.

 

He nodded his head ever so slightly.

 

He unwrapped his right hand, reached down and pulled open the bottom drawer. He pulled out a bottle of scotch, pulled the cork off and took a long deep swig from the bottle. He set it on the desk and then set two glasses next to it. He poured a finger or two into each and then passed me one.

 

“I…” he shook his head, “don’t understand why I didn’t remember before now.” He tipped the contents of his glass into his mouth, set the glass back down onto the desk and then buried his face in his hands.

 

“The Doctor told me you wouldn’t remember our time in the TARDIS until we were both out of her sphere of influence, whatever that means…”

 

“But the first time I met you was in the hub after you broke in. I remember it clearly. The rift had opened, you dropped in, we went up, talked to the Doctor, you two went away and I went back down here.”

 

“Do you remember going to Raxacoricofallapatorious with me?”

 

“I do but I also remember it slightly different. How can I remember both? This is nuts.”

 

“It’s a paradox. My fault actually.”

 

“How so?”

 

I blew out a breath and wiggled my lips around. “Well, I wasn’t really supposed to meet the doctor or you yet – either _of you_ for that matter – and I certainly wasn’t supposed to take a trip in the TARDIS.” I tipped my head back and closed my eyes. I was getting a timey-wimey headache again and they were never fun.

 

“I’m getting a timey-wimey headache." I told him. "Time travel sucks.” I sighed.

 

“I know, it…” then he turned a new color and he looked even more shocked than he had before. “Holy shit!” his mouth worked open and closed but no sound actually came out. “I… just remembered the _ah_ … hot tub.” He looked at me as if for the first time.

 

“How could I forget?” I joked.

 

“I can’t believe I almost did. That was _memorable_ and I’m betting it happened longer ago for me than for you.”

 

“What? A few hundred?”

 

His eyes flashed dark and he swallowed reflexively. “How could ya know that?” His voice had shifted towards the suspicious end of the spectrum.

 

This was one of those times when I had to lie and _lie well_ or all hell was going to break loose. “The Doctor… time travel… you know?”

 

“Did he tell you what happened to me?”

 

“ _Uhm_. No. He didn’t have to. I found out a different way.”

 

“Enlighten me?”

 

“Jack, you of all people know we’re not supposed to talk about certain things.” I bluffed. I bluffed my brains out.

 

He nodded, waved both hands and looked entirely penitent. “Yes, yes ... of course you’re right. I’m sorry, I forgot about your timeline problems. That was the reason you sought him out in the first place wasn’t it?”

 

“Yes,” I nodded “it was.”

 

“Okay. I’ll stop asking about that.”

 

“No, it’s okay. We can talk about it. We were both there.” I snorted and shook my head. “It’s crazy, I know.” I looked at him more seriously and asked, “are you alright with this? Do you think you’ll be able to work with me considering our… history?” I was suddenly very nervous.

 

“Ya.” He swallowed again and smiled more easily. “I think you and I could work together quite well **_and did_** in more ways than one, if I remember correctly.”

 

I just grinned. You know, that foolish _oh-my-giddy-aunt-I-am-so-ridiculously-happy_ grin.

 

“So back to my other skills…” I began.

 

“Yes, back to your other skills. Please go on?”

 

“I’m also an exceptional archivist. And I’m betting you have a serious archive problem that needs my attention. Am I right?”

 

“You bet I do.” He smiled eagerly and continued, “so let me get this straight… you can shoot, you have crime scene experience and you can fix our archives?”

 

“Absolutely. And that’s not all. I also happen to make the world’s best coffee - _for the right people_.”

 

“Really?” His eyes glittered with excitement.

 

I nodded and raised my eyebrows playfully.

 

“When can you start?”

 

“In a few weeks? I have some things to wrap up.”

 

“Personal or professional?”

 

“A bit of both actually.”

 

“I see. Are you seeing anyone right now?”

 

“Yes, I am actually.”

 

“Oh,” he sighed emphatically. “That’s too bad.”

 

I smiled and left it at that.

 

He came around the desk and I stood up. He stepped close and took my hand. “Congratulations. You’re hired.”

 

“That’s quick. Are you sure? I have a few demands of my own.”

 

“Oh, and what would they be?”

 

“I have a list.”

 

“Give me your list. I’m sure we can work something out.”

 

“I will.”

 

“You’re a hard nut to crack Ianto. I look forward to getting to know you again.” He led me down into the hub and said he’d walk me out.

 

While we were walking down the corridor, I asked him what he’d told Tosh and Owen about my first visit to the hub. He’d told them I was working with an old friend of his and I had a high level security clearance so I could be trusted. I thought the excuse sounded a bit weak but I couldn’t come up with anything better so I said I’d go along with it.

 

Once we got up to the Plas, he’d started getting fidgety. “So, you haven’t really accepted my offer yet. Are you going to take the job?”

 

“Oh, sorry. Yes, I’d love to. I’m looking forward to it. Can I call you once I’ve got everything sorted?”

 

“Yes, that would be great. I’m glad you got in touch with me Ianto. I have to admit - you really made a memorable first impression – _both times_.”

 

.

**_To be continued in… Chapter 2: Into the Desert_ **

****

 

_  
_

****


	2. Into the Dessert

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ianto’s New Timeline: September 27 – October 9, 2005
> 
> As Ianto makes the transition from working at the precinct to his new job at Torchwood 3 he realizes the consequences of ignoring a blessing.

**_The Precinct - Final weeks_ **

****

**I WOKE SLOWLY** and surfaced from a strange and nebulous dream. I lay there quietly just feeling the room and all that was in it. Even through closed eyes I could tell it was a bright, warm day. It smelled like fall, though. The time of year I’d always associated with going back to school. I felt my back, warm and relaxed, pressed into my cushy mattress. I heard the slow, steady sound of Colin’s breathing and I felt the warmth radiating from his skin. He was curled up against my side, not entwined but touching along our length. He’d wake soon, I knew, the moment I moved or shifted in the slightest. He was a sensitive sleeper.

 

I felt rested, sated, limp and pleasantly sore in all the right places. I hadn’t slept so soundly in weeks, not since I’d come back. My mind hadn’t allowed me a moment’s peace between the anticlimax of a long awaited event, the guilt and self-recrimination I felt over my betrayal with Jack and the sheer rush of excitement associated with starting a new job. Colin had been so excited for me, about my trip into the woods, coming back safe and sound and getting a new job. It only made me feel worse. I’d decided to keep the truth from him. I’d managed to rationalize my fling with Jack and I’d chalked it up to a once in a life time encounter. I vowed to be a better, more attentive, more loving, more dedicated lover.

 

I’d called him on my way home from the interview. I’d been giddy with excitement. He took me out to celebrate. We went out for dinner to our favorite restaurant and then he took me home so we could celebrate some more. He was so kind, so thoughtful, everything Jack wasn’t. And how had I repaid him? _By shagging a lover from another life._ I had a lot of making up to do.

 

.

 **I’VE ALWAYS FOUND TRANSITIONS HARD.** Leaving something behind, stepping away from the known into the wild and desolate desert. That first step off the cliff incites a deep seated fear of loss and loneliness. It also stirs up issues of regret. I think of The Alchemist’s journey across the desert. It’s in the middle, in no man’s land that we question everything. It’s when you can no longer see where you’ve come from or where your headed that the panic sets in.

 

In my case, as I’m about to step off the cliff, I find that there are so many things left undone or things done differently that sit heavily on my soul.  They say “ _every blessing ignored becomes a curse_.” (The Alchemist, p58)

 

I’d been thinking about Lisa lately _a lot_. I realized one day while I was re-reading my journals, that if I had gone to London and joined Torchwood One I would have met Lisa by now. We’d have been dating by now, deeply in love. I’d given that up. The whole experience would never happen, not now. I felt loss for something that had never happened, this time ‘round. This nagging question kept pushing itself to the forefront of my mind: _how could I save her if we’ve never met?_

 

My time at the precinct, with the Inspector and Colin and all the other friends and colleagues I’d met was quickly coming to a close. I guess it was making me evaluate my life as it was. I was about to take a huge leap into the deep, dark, dangerous waters called Torchwood.

 

 

 **MY LAST WEEK WENT BY FAR TOO QUICKLY**. It seemed like every few minutes I was interrupted by a fellow co-worker come to say their goodbyes and congratulations. I honestly had no idea how many friends I’d made.

 

The Inspector was moody and sappy and everything in between. He hovered and insisted on taking me out to lunch every single day. He was struggling to say something, that much was clear, but he just couldn’t find the words. It was Thursday by the time he got it out.

 

“Ianto, I’m going to miss you. It’s going to be boring around here without you. You’re the only one that makes me laugh.”

 

“Don’t worry Inspector; I’m not going very far away. I’m sure we can figure out a way to still spend some time together.”

 

“Oh, I know my boy, but it won’t be the same. I see you all day long – I’ll miss that.”

 

“Me too.”

 

“Well, maybe you could still come to the club once in a while?”

 

“Of course, I will. I won’t have it any other way.”

 

“Good, good.”

 

 

**_Torchwood 3 - Day 1_ **

****

**I SHOWED UP AT 8 AM**. I nearly had to tie myself down so I wouldn’t arrive at _ridiculously-early-o’clock_. I wasn’t going to live, breathe and eat Torchwood – not this time. And I wasn’t going to set any precedents today that would screw me later.

 

I only had to wait outside the tourist center door for a few minutes before Jack came up and let me in. He led me down to the hub and offered me a cup of coffee. It was woefully bad but I bit the bullet and slurped down that god awful tar. The others hadn’t arrived yet so the hub was nearly silent. He led the way up to his office and had me fill out the official paper work. The first thing he did was have me write my own job description.

 

“Ianto, I want you to decide which duties you’ll do. You have a lot of skills and I don’t want to stifle you – so you decide – what do you want to do every day?”

 

This was one of those opportunities, you know, the one’s you pray for and moan about, and then when they happen you have no idea what to do with them.

 

“Brilliant.” I beamed. “But can I have some time to write this up? I don’t want to rush it.”

 

“Of course, take all the time you need. Why don’t we get your desk set up while we wait for the others to show up? They’ll be here any time.”

 

He’d assigned me a desk next to Tosh’s. I had lots of space, a ridiculously cool computer, access to everything and the promise that I could write my own ticket. All in all, a pretty good start to the day.

 

Tosh came in first, then Suzie and then finally Owen. They huddled around the coffee machine, drawn to it like an oasis in the desert. They weren’t a chipper bunch especially not in the morning.

 

Tosh gave me a tour of my computer, set up all my passwords and then gave me a quick tutorial on all the basic systems. I took copious notes and asked her a million questions, which she happily answered. She was warm and welcoming and made me feel right at home.

 

Then I was subjected to Owen’s delightful bedside manner as I was given my induction physical. He was thorough, knowledgeable and extremely competent. When he wasn’t being a pratt, he was actually kind of impressive.

 

It was shortly before lunch when we finally finished and Jack bellowed across the hub that lunch had arrived. We congregated in the boardroom and enjoyed the diverse spread Jack had thoughtfully ordered.

 

Midway through lunch, with sounds of chewing and slurping in the background, Tosh asked me the question I’d been dreading.

 

 “So, Ianto?”

 

I had just taken a bite so I could only answer with an “hmm?”

 

She grinned shyly and asked, “how come you knew my name the first time we met?”

 

“Ya, I’ve been wondering that too?” added Owen. He hadn’t bothered to chew his food though before opening his mouth so bits of bread and sandwich innards fell out of his mouth in a distinctly off-putting manner.

 

I finished chewing and then took a good long pull on my drink while in my head I was desperately searching for a convincing story. Jack became very attentive and his eyes darted surreptitiously from Owen to Tosh and finally landed on me. My four coworkers sat there waiting patiently for my convincing excuse. “Well, I was briefed on Torchwood 3 but the file only included basic personnel data and ...” I paused for effect. If my excuse was to be believable I’d need the assistance of my ever present nemesis, my tendency to blush. “I just didn’t realize how beautiful you were” I admitted. As expected, I blushed.

 

Tosh giggled and her cheeks colored prettily. “Thank you!” she said quietly.

 

Owen sputtered, seemingly outraged.

 

Suzie laughed but not in a nice way.

 

Jack’s lips twitched but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. He hadn’t believed a word I said.

 

 

 **AFTER LUNCH, JACK TOOK ME DOWN INTO THE ARCHIVES.** He led the way and explained what needed to be done in each section. I nodded and dutifully took notes. We were standing in the main filing room when Jack asked, “so what do you need?”

 

“I’ll give you a list with a cost for each item and its purpose by the end of the day. Sound good?” I asked as I looked up from my notebook.

 

“Sounds great,” he answered.

 

I noticed he still wasn’t smiling so I asked, “anything else you want to talk about Jack?” I tilted my head and smiled encouragingly.

 

He nodded as if he’d been expecting my question. “Yes, actually. Why’d you tell Tosh that _story_ at lunch?”

 

“She’s needed a self-esteem boost, Owen needed a wake-up call and I needed to distract them from the real issue.”

 

“And just what is the real issue?”

 

“We both know perfectly well what the _issue_ is Jack. Do I need to spell it out?”

 

“Why don’t you.” He said as he crossed his arms defensively.

 

I shrugged and explained. “Well, I can’t exactly tell them that I have unexplainable knowledge about them and Torchwood now can I?” I crossed my arms too, mirroring his body language. I’d read somewhere that this was the best way to deal with authoritarian figures but who knows. “When it comes to timey-wimey stuff Jack you know I’m going to have to lie. I’ve got to follow the Doctor’s directions. I really don’t want to be responsible for ripping the universe apart.”

 

He stood there, didn’t say a thing and then he uncrossed his arms and sighed. “Alright, fine. But don’t kid yourself – I’m going to call you on your bullshit. And I can smell bullshit a mile away. So don’t even think about trying it on me.”

 

“Hey, I have no intention of lying to you Jack. I swear it. I know you don’t trust me right now but you will and I won’t let you down.”  
.

He seemed to take what I said at face value because he nodded and he shook off his tense stance. “Okay. Time will tell. Come see me before the end of the day.”

 

“I will. I’ll have those lists for you in a couple of hours, Sir.”

 

“Jack,” he insisted.

 

“Yes, Sir.” I smirked.

 

.

 **IT WAS LATE THAT AFTERNOON** by the time I’d finally finished my requisition for the archives and my job description. I knocked on Jack’s door and heard him call me in.

 

“What’s up?” He asked, head still down, hand scribbling frantically, his signature I guessed.

 

“Sorry to bother you, Sir. Is this a bad time?”

 

“No, it’s fine. Come on in. What have you got for me?” He put down his pen and sat back in his chair.

 

“Well, here’s the requisition list for the archive and a few things we’ll need for around the hub. And here’s my job description.” I passed it to him and then sat down in the chair.

 

He read the requisition list first. His mouth moving as he read it under his breath. He didn’t stop or question anything on the list. I’d included pricing and explicit reasons for each item which seemed to satisfy all his requirements. “This looks fine. Very thorough. Shouldn’t be a problem. You can go buy this stuff tomorrow if you like. Take Tosh with you.”

 

“Okay, that sounds great.” I was glad he’d agreed but I was still waiting for his reaction to my job description. I’d basically started with a list of my preferred duties or roles as I saw them and then detailed it from there. I’d listed my main duties as: in charge of archives, office manager and field agent when needed.

 

He read it over, gave it some thought and nodded. “Also, good. What do you mean by office manager?”

 

“You guys need some help. It’s a mess in here, it’s completely disorganized, you’re under stocked on basic items and I’m willing to bet no one has a clear idea of who does what and when. Am I right?”

 

He made a face, reluctantly agreeing wordlessly.

 

“You need someone who is organized and who actually enjoys overcoming chaos.”

 

“You’re right.” He smiled and went on to the next item. “I totally agree with you being in charge of the archives. It’s definitely your area of expertise. What about field agent? How active do you see yourself?”

 

“Well, I’m certainly not as active as you or Suzie but I’m a good investigator and I am resourceful. I’m good in a crisis and you can use me. I’m not saying I want to only do that though. I’d like a balance.”

 

“Alright. I can live with all of that.”

 

“Really? Just _live with_ or are you _good_ with it?”

 

“Good with it.”

 

“Great! Thank you.”

 

 

 **OWEN AND TOSH INVITED ME OUT FOR A DRINK** after work and I happily accepted. Owen stuck his head through Jack’s door and invited him to join us later at the pub. I heard him say he’d be along in a short while.

 

“What about Suzie?” asked Tosh.

 

Owen shook his head and grimaced. “She’s busy. Had other plans.” He scoffed and flicked his head in the direction of Jack’s office.

 

Tosh must have understood his meaning because she sighed and shrugged her shoulders. “Well, it’s just us and maybe Jack if he gets his paperwork done.”

 

“Great, let’s go.” I helped her on with her coat and we three trailed out of the hub together.

 

We found a decent table and ordered a round. Curiously, I asked, “what’s the deal with Suzie and Jack?”

 

“Oh, they’ve been shagging,” answered Tosh quickly.

 

“Oh, ya? Is it serious?” I asked.

 

“No, are you kidding? Owen scoffed loudly.

 

Tosh looked around the pub uncomfortably.  “They’ve been on again off again for a long while.

 

“Anyways, the point is that she’s obsessive and violent. And just plain weird.” Owen spoke with significant contempt and bitterness.

 

“She’s not that bad. She’s just… difficult to… get to know.” Tosh was trying so hard to be generous and kind.

 

“Anyways, enough about her.” Owen changed the subject. “How’s your first day going? Ready to run away yet?” He joked sympathetically.

 

I shook my head. “Na, its fine.”

 

They looked at each other and grimaced in disbelief.

 

“Really,” I insisted. “It’s not so different from what I was doing at the precinct. There are just a lot more aliens and a lot less petty theft.” I held up my glass and smiled reassuringly at my two new coworkers.

 

Tosh smiled and then began babbling happily. “Jack’s been so excited about meeting you. Ever since you _dropped by_ …”

 

“Broke in,” corrected Owen.

 

Tosh waved him off. “He hasn’t stopped talking about you and some Doctor friend of his. I read your resume, it’s impressive. It’s good to have you on the team. We can really use some more help, especially, somebody with skills.”

 

“Ya, I’ll say. And somebody normal doesn’t hurt either,” added Owen.

 

“Wow. Thanks. I appreciate you two being so welcoming.”

 

Tosh looked furtively towards the bar and set her drink down on the table. “I need the w/c. Be right back.”

 

“So Owen…” I began just as Tosh was leaving the table. “What made you join Torchwood?” I had every intention of getting to know him and hopefully befriending him as well.

 

He looked down into his half empty glass and swirled the brown froth around. “I… my fiancé got infected with an alien and it killed her.”

 

“Holy shit. I’m so sorry.”

 

He shook his head side to side and said, “it’s okay. It happened. Shit happens you know? Can’t change it. All I could do… was try and prevent the same thing from happening to someone else. It’s the reason I do it” he said quietly.

 

“I am sorry, for prying and for your loss. I’m sorry Owen.” I couldn’t believe he’d confided in me. I was honored, truth be told.

 

“How about you?” he asked. “Why… would you want to work for Torchwood?”

 

“It’s not that I _want_ to” I stressed. “It’s just that crazy alien shit has been following me around for so long that it was just a natural step.”

 

“What do you mean it follows you around?”

 

“It started when I was eighteen. And then when I was in uni doing my internship it just… well let’s just say… I’ve been catching Weevils for a few years and I’m sick and tired of Blowfish and Telepathic aliens.”

 

“No, shit?” He was impressed.

 

Tosh came back and bought us another round. We laughed and joked about all the stupid aliens we’d encountered. Jack sauntered through the doors an hour after we’d arrived. It was the same as usual. The instant he entered the room, all eyes automatically turned towards him, like a magnet, _a pheromone reinforced super magnet._

 

“Jack!” exclaimed Tosh. “I’m glad you came!”

 

He smiled his gorgeous gleaming smile at her and wrapped his arm around her affectionately.

 

Owen looked behind him and then asked, “where’s Suzie? I thought she’d come with you.”

 

He frowned and shrugged. “I have no idea. She didn’t say anything to me,” he explained.

 

Tosh begged off the next round and went home shortly after leaving the three of us telling our outrageous stories. Owen _went for a piss_ as he so inelegantly declared which Jack took as the perfect opportunity to dig into my personal life.

 

“So are you still seeing that guy?”

 

I nodded. “Yes, I am.”

 

“What’s his name?”

 

I smiled. “Colin.”

 

“Is he a cop?” he asked innocently.

 

“Yes, he is.” I answered just as mildly.

 

“You’re not going to tell me about him are you?”

 

“Not if I can help it.” I grinned and enjoyed my evasion.

 

“How about you?”

 

“What about me?”

 

“You know, you and Suzie?”

 

“What about her?”

 

“Aren’t you two?”

 

“No, we’re not.”

 

“Does she know that?”

 

“I… have no idea.” He paused then added, “why’d you ask about Suzie?”

 

“Ahh… I was under the impression that you two were having an affair.”

 

“Really? You were, were you? How did you come to that conclusion?”

 

My mouth opened and closed wordlessly and I hedged, “I heard a rumour.”

 

“From who?”

 

I shook my head. “I can’t say.”

 

He _tiskted_ and frowned.

 

“I didn’t mean to pry… I was just curious.”

 

“It’s okay. I… it’s in the past… it’s finished.”

 

I shrugged and drank the rest of my beer. I was suddenly quite uncomfortable and at a loss for words, worse yet, so was Jack. So grasping, I changed the subject.

 

“So… _uhm_ … did you still want to evaluate my marksmanship?” I ventured.

 

“Yes, I do. I thought I’d give you a few days to adjust.”

 

“I appreciate the thought Jack but I doubt the rift will stay this quiet for long.”

 

“Too true” he agreed ruefully. “Let’s do that tomorrow shall we?” He was suddenly much happier and that eager gleam sparkled in his eyes.

 

I nodded stiffly. “Okay. That sounds good.”

 

“Don’t worry. There’s nothing to be nervous about. I hardly bite at all,” he joked.

 

“Right,” I said in my most unconvinced tone of voice.

 

The thing is, I knew exactly what I was in for. I’d experienced it myself and I, like the others had watched Jack on the CCTV giving his trademark Harkness shooting lessons to Gwen. We’d all been subjected to his particularly unique method of teaching. And let me assure you, it was nothing like Inspector Donaldson’s.

 

.

**_Continued in… 3 - Trademark Lessons_ **

 


	3. Trademark Lessons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> October 10, 2005
> 
> Ianto makes some changes at Torchwood 3 and enjoys a little one-on-one with Jack.

**_Torchwood 3: Day 2_ **

****

 

* * *

_TW    Ianto’s Journal    TW    Ianto’s Journal   TW_

* * *

 

_October10, 2005_

**_To do list:_ **

  * _Distribute new rota: everyone scheduled for cleaning and feeding duties_
  * _Warn Jack_
  * _Buy 5 garbage cans_
  * _Obtain alien cleaning/disinfecting device (bathrooms and such)- maybe Tosh knows?_
  * _Shopping/kitchen/coffee duties_
  * _Get ready for the shooting range – valium? anti-anxiety pill? cold shower?_



_.._.

 

* * *

_TW    Ianto’s Journal    TW    Ianto’s Journal   TW_

* * *

 

 

.

 **I’D LEFT A COPY** of the new _general hub duties rota_ on everyone’s desk. Owen was the first to make his feelings known.

 

“What the hell is this?” He screeched and stood up so abruptly he caused his chair to fly back from his desk. “I’m a doctor not a bloody cleaning lady!” He declared with as much arrogance as he could muster.  “Jack…” he shouted as he stomped up the stairs loudly. “I am not bloody well cleaning the bog!”

 

The minute he crossed the threshold Jack demanded, “close the door Owen. Sit. Close your mouth and listen.”

 

“Wh..” he sputtered.

 

“Close it!” Jack shouted and pointed at the chair.

 

He crossed his arms and resentfully allowed his arse to make contact with the seat.

 

“Are you part of the team?”

 

“Yes, I…”

 

“Do you use the bog?”

 

“Yes… but… “ he whined.

 

“Then you will take your turn at cleaning it!”

 

His mouth made like it was about to flap open.

 

“I don’t want to hear another word, Owen. _I’m warning you_.”

 

Owen sat still, silent, rigid. He was pissed and offended but he didn’t dare challenge Jack when he was like this. Jack didn’t make hollow threats. He always followed through and it was always very, very bad for the person involved.

 

 “Will there be anything else?”

 

“No,” he answered. Quite obviously, he’d been dismissed so he stood up and consciously did not stomp his feet or make any other undue noise as he made his way back to his desk.

 

I’d also left a note on Jack’s desk telling him about the new rota. He’d been waiting for the first complainer and had planned on giving them a demonstrative verbal spanking. The rest of the team would toe the line now. No one else wanted to incur the wrath of Jack, especially once they’d heard those deadly words:  _I’m warning you_.

 

.

 **HE SAUNTERED OVER TO MY DESK** and spoke briskly. “I’ll meet you in the shooting range in about twenty minutes,” and then he turned and walked away.

 

“Okay. I’ll be there,” I called after him.

 

“Oh, hey there,” he said as I walked into the room. “Wasn’t sure if you’d find it.”

 

“Photographic memory,” I explained.

 

“Really? How accurate is it?” he asked.

 

“Picture perfect,” I said.

 

“Really?” It was a question that went on for several seconds. “Hmmm. I wish I had that – well, sometimes, not all of the time. Some things, you just don’t want to remember, other things… however… such as a naughty encounter in a hot tub… well I wish I could remember that more clearly.” He winked and leered in a disturbingly familiar way.

 

I pressed my lips together and just nodded slightly. What could I say to that?

 

“Come over here,” he said more seriously. It may have been my lack of response that made him shift back into work mode. “You’ll need ear and eye protection.” He handed me a pair of safety glasses and a set of ear muffs.

 

“Oh, thanks,” I said lamely.

 

He gestured to the assortment of guns on the table. “You need to know how to use these.”

 

I nodded and ran my eyes over the collection. “Alright,” I acknowledged. My eyes stopped when I reached an unfamiliar model. “I’ve never used this model before. Can we start with this?”

 

“It’s all yours.  You choose.”

 

“I may need some guidance. I’m not sure how it loads…” I said lamely tempting fate. I have a strong will but I’ve never claimed to be able to resist temptation all of the time.

 

“No problem,” he assured me. He picked up the gun and pointed to a box and explained, “the shells are in there… just pop this lever back” he demonstrated once and then he confirmed my understanding, “… like this see?”

 

“Oh, I see. So it’s not much different then.”

 

“Not too much,” he agreed.

 

“Which target should I be aiming for?” I asked.

 

“Let’s start with the Weevil shall we?” He winked and then grinned mischievously.

 

 _Ah,_ I thought, _here it comes_.

 

I may have intentionally taunted him a little bit when I wrapped both hands around the grip; I knew it would drive him nuts.

 

“One hand not two,” he corrected. He placed a warm hand over mine.

 

I desperately held back a grin and tried to look schooled.

 

Jack came up behind me and wrapped a hand around either shoulder. He used hand pressure to guide me like we were waltzing to an unheard song.

 

“Turn sideways to the target.” I felt his warm breath puff into the side of my neck. One might suppose that he’d only moved his face so close to my ear so that I could hear him through the ear protection. With his hands and arms flush against mine, he shifted my body.

 

He stepped closer. Already his voice oozed seduction and piping hot sexuality.

 

“Looking along your shoulder.” To get my attention, _like it could have wandered_ , he ran a finger down my neck, along my shoulder and continued down my arm which was gripping the gun. He had distracted me so thoroughly by dragging his finger across my skin that I hadn’t noticed how close he’d moved his entire torso. He was pressed up against me, flush. His chest warm and hard against my back, his thighs tensed against the back of mine but the most distracting sensation was his groin wrapped around my arse.

 

“Straight line to the sites.” I brought up my arm a little too quickly.

 

“Woh, woh, woh - not too fast.” His arm snaked around my shoulder and came to rest on my chest. I’m sure he could hear my breath hitch in my throat and hear my heart pounding double-time in my chest.

 

He spoke into my hair, “it’s all in the breathing,” he claimed. His mouth nearly touched the back of my head; his hot breath ruffled strands of hair sending shivers streaming through my body and left a deep aching heat coiling around my gut.

 

“Hold it firmly.” He’d wrapped his hand around my grip on the gun and raised our arms up until they were parallel with the ground and aimed perfectly at the center of the target.

 

“Don’t grip it,” he reminded me.

 

I nodded.

 

“Cock it,” he instructed.

 

So many dirty retorts sprang to mind but I kept my mouth firmly sealed and cocked the gun. I returned to our previous position.

 

He was pleased. “Good,” he said. Even with the sound being muffled by my ear protection I could hear the smile in his voice

 

Then he wrapped his other hand around my hip and gripped me tightly there. He pulled me in closer still and told me to _breathe in_. Like I had to be reminded to breathe, only I guess I did.

 

“Focus.” He let the word slide out and I heard a thread of tension in it. I let my awareness spread outwards and I realized he was just as tense as I was.

 

“Breathe out,” he commanded. I felt him push a lung-full of air outwards; it was all I could focus on as his chest and diaphragm pressed more firmly against my back.

 

Then he told me to _squeeze gently_ ; I did and to my great surprise, I actually hit the target smack dab in the middle. It wasn’t a surprise that I’d made the shot – I’m actually quite an excellent shot – it was the fact that I’d made the shot _while Jack was rubbing his groin up against my arse_.

 

“That was brilliant!” he exclaimed. He was obviously as surprised as I was.

 

“Thanks,” I replied shyly.

 

“Okay, try again,” he said. He dropped his right arm, the one holding my grip on the gun but the rest of him stayed exactly where it was.

 

So I returned my arm to where it had been a moment ago and I prepared to fire.

 

“Don’t grip it too tight,” he reminded me.

 

“Show me how you cock it,” he demanded. “Right,” he said.

 

“Breath first,” he reminded me.

 

And again I hit the target close to the center.

 

““Wooo!” he shouted, “nice work, Ianto.”

 

“Thank you, Sir. It must be your expert instruction.”

 

“Ha!” he barked. “I think perhaps, it was less me and more you.” He didn’t seem to mind having the opportunity to instruct me and he certainly wasn’t eager to move away.

 

“Let’s try another one…” he said and stepped back. He swept his hand over the table like a game show hostess.

 

I picked up the gun nearest to me, gave him a repeat performance and then proceeded to work my way across the table. I totally rocked, of course.

 

Through it all, he stood there watching me intently, arms crossed, legs spread wide, silent for the most part but a powerful presence none the less.

 

“You’re good,” he said after I’d finished a quick draw session. “I’m not surprised, I thought you’d be good but _you’re really good_.”

 

“Thank you, Sir. I find that I’m much more accurate if I stay well practiced.”

 

“That’s true for most people, I think.”

 

I was standing over the table, replacing the gun I’d just used when he slid up behind me again.

 

He slid my ear muffs down around my neck before he spoke next. “I remember that hot tub ya know. I had a dream about it the other night.” He paused and swallowed. “How long has it been for you?”

 

“Less than a month ago,” I admitted. _Damn_ , I thought, _I am so busted_.

 

“So you were actually seeing this guy Colin at the time, yes?

 

“Yes, and I regret that.”

 

“You regret… having sex with me?”

 

“No, just the fact that I cheated on him. I love him.”

 

“Then why did you?”

 

“It’s complicated.”

 

“I’m clever and a patient listener.”

 

I groaned as quietly as I could under the circumstances. “I… I made a mistake. I cheated on him… with you.”

 

“Ya, but why?”

 

“There were a few reasons, I guess. I was… overwhelmed by recent events, to say the least, I was totally drunk on alien booze and I was… extremely attracted to you.”

 

 _Not to mention the fact that I’ve literally been waiting years for you to appear in my life and seeing you again - even the past you - was just too much too resist_.

 

The rest – the truth - I said in my head because the last thing he needed was more arrogance and surely I didn’t need to seem any more desperate.

 

I couldn’t exactly say _I missed you so much_. How could I explain that one?

 

“Well, I was extremely attracted to you as well, in fact, I still am.”

 

“I made a bad judgement call. It’s not going happen again.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“I’m seeing somebody. I’m monogamous by nature and by preference. I have no intention of being your part-time shag, Jack.”

 

“Ah… I see.”

 

“I’m not sure that you do.” I turned around and looked him straight in the eye.

 

He didn’t back up and I didn’t raise my voice. It wasn’t exactly a prepared speech but it might as well have been. I’d thought about this little rant a time or two. He needed to hear it. If we were ever going to have a relationship he’d need to heed my words.

 

So with our past and our future in mind, I cleared things up as clearly as I could. “I’m **_awesome_**. I totally deserve better than that. I am **_nobody’s_** part-time shag. I **_deserve_** love, dedication and loyalty. I **_demand_** equality, honesty and mutual respect.”

 

“Okay.” He was stunned. I could tell by his blank grasping expression that he had no idea what he should say.

 

“You enjoyed our time together, ya?” I asked.

 

“Absolutely.”

 

“Well, so did I. I’d love to have that again, with you when you’re ready to meet me half way.”

 

He started to shake his head and it looked like he was trying to say something only he didn’t know where to start. I cut him off, partly out of pity and partly because I didn’t want to hear the same old bullshit.

 

I put a hand on his chest and he shut his mouth. “I know… you think I am constrained by my quaint 21st Century sexual morals. I get that. I really do. But the thing is, you are living in the 21st Century Jack. This is where you and I are right now. So when I say meet me half way I mean I’m willing to stretch my comfort zone as long as you are.”

 

“You seem to know an awful lot about me. More than you should.”

 

I shrugged and nodded reluctantly.

 

He stood quietly, his head tilted, obviously giving my words some consideration. Then he asked “did ya know what would happen to me… after you left?”

 

I was surprised by his question and slightly confused. I frowned and admitted, “I had a vague idea, just not the timing.”

 

“What do ya know?” he insisted.

 

“I know something unexplainable happens and you get… I mean got left behind.”

 

“Yes, and?”

 

“And you spent a long time here in Cardiff waiting near the rift.”

 

“I wouldn’t have seen the Doctor so soon if it hadn’t been for you.”

 

“I know. It wasn’t originally supposed to happen that way.”

 

“Thank you for that.”

 

I nodded.

 

“You didn’t have to do that.”

 

“I know.”

 

“You didn’t even know me.”

 

Silence.

 

“Did ya know me?”

 

Silence.

 

“Timey-wimey?”

 

I nodded.

 

“Damn, I hate being on the other end of that answer. Usually it’s me saying that.”

 

“I know. This time it sucks to be you.”

 

He agreed.

 

“Fair play though, I think.”

 

“How so?”

 

I shrugged and smiled. “Maybe someday I can tell you.”

 

“I hope so.”

 

“Are the cameras on in here?”

 

“Ya, why?”

 

“They’re going to watch this if they aren’t already. “

 

“What makes you think that?”

 

“Just a hunch.”

 

“You should probably stop saying things like that.”

 

“Hey, if I can’t say them to you I might just go insane. I’ve been holding this all inside for so long Jack. It’s good to be able to talk to someone, to you.” I spoke softly and my words conveyed the wealth of frustration and relief I felt.  

 

“I’d love to know exactly what you’ve been holding inside Ianto. I hope maybe one day you can trust me enough to tell me the truth.”

 

I considered his plea and I sighed. I had the same hope. “You might want to delete the footage once we go back up.”

 

He nodded but didn’t say anything.

 

As we walked back to the main hub together he was quiet and thoughtful. And with Jack, nine times out of ten, that spells trouble.

 

.

**_Continued in… 3 – The Aftermath_ **

 


	4. The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> October 10, 2005 (Day 2)
> 
> Ianto deals with the aftereffects of the shooting range.

## 

**HE’D STARTED ACTING STRANGELY** the moment we left the shooting range. He’d started watching me from his office, from the kitchen, from the railing and he wasn’t subtle about it either. All afternoon, he moved around the hub like one of those neurotic pacing zoo animals. You know, the crazy Gibbon who just swings side to side in the same jerky pattern over and over again until exhaustion over takes him. Jack’s eyes weren’t quite as glossy as the Gibbon’s but he did have a peculiar wistful look and the same sense of longing emanated from him.

 

Even Owen noticed and he was normally oblivious to subtle interpersonal exchanges but he was merrily elbow-deep in some alien’s body cavity and covered in orange goo so he had a perfectly valid excuse for ignoring him.

 

Suzie had sequestered herself and was manically obsessing over _the glove_. It looked like she was close to figuring it out and judging from her general attitude lately she seemed to be irritated by the distraction caused by our mere existence. She didn’t pay us any mind.

 

But Tosh definitely noticed and I caught her casting furtive glances between the two of us on several occasions. Tosh was also unduly nervous, more fidgety than normal and wouldn’t look me in the eye when we spoke which made me quite suspicious.

 

So I checked the CCTV logs and sure enough there had been one attempt to access the footage while we were down in the shooting range. Tosh always was the curious one. The logs also showed that Jack had deleted the footage immediately after we came back up. I had no idea how much she saw or heard but from her behaviour I had to assume she’d seen something. I decided to speak to her directly to clear the air, as it were.  

 

As nonchalantly as possible, I invited her to have a drink with me after work. It was just the two of us since Owen had a date and Suzie had already left. Jack clanked down the metal staircase as we were gathering our things and asked us about our plans. I told him that I was going to buy Tosh a drink.

 

“Oh, okay.” He sighed heavily and stuffed his hands into his pockets.

 

“I’m sure it would be fine if you joined us Jack,” Tosh said. She looked briefly at me for confirmation and then asked, “would you like to come along?”

 

He looked at me then down at this shoes and continued staring at them as if they were fascinating. “You sure you don’t mind?” He looked at me when he asked.

 

“Of course, not. Please, join us. We’re just going to the same pub as yesterday.”

 

“How about I meet you there? In say…” he checked his watch, “fifteen minutes?”

 

We looked at each other and nodded.

 

“Great. See you… then.” He walked away, mumbling quietly under his breath and running a hand vigorously through his sandy blonde hair.

 

“What’s going on with Jack?” she whispered.

 

“I’m not sure,” I whispered back. “He’s been acting weird all day.”

 

“I know! I thought it was just me. He has hasn’t he?” She seemed quite pleased that it wasn’t just her imagination.

 

“Yep, really weird.”

 

“Well, let’s go get a good table. I’m peckish. I need something greasy.”

 

“ _Ehhh_ ,” I said with my disgusted face, “I could do with some greens myself.”

 

“You’re weird.”

 

“Because I eat real food?”

 

She snorted. “Yes, exactly.”

 

“Mmmm hmmmm,” I retorted.

 

We walked briskly across the Plas and found a seat where were could both relax.  I wanted to talk to her before he got there so I jumped right in.

 

I started by asking her if everything was okay. She claimed it was.

 

“What about the shooting range footage?” I insisted.

 

She stayed silent but her wide _deer-caught-in-the-headlamps_ like eyes betrayed her. They didn’t just scream ‘ _I’m guilty!’_ they practically jumped up and down waving their arms in the air.

 

“Did you have something you wanted to ask me about?”

 

“What?” She continued to protest. “No, of course not.”

 

“I checked the logs Tosh.”

 

“Oh, of course you did.” She moaned, wrapped her hands around her ears and confessed quickly. “I only watched for a moment. I’m really sorry for snooping.”

 

“What did you see?”

 

“Nothing, really,” she insisted but it didn’t stop the rosy blush from creeping up her neck.

.

I just raised my eyebrow; it said _oh, really?_

 

She gave in and confessed some more. “I saw him… _ah_ … standing really close behind you.”

 

“ _Ah_ , yes,” I sighed melodramatically, “the Trademark Harkness Training method.”

 

“Oh, that’s a good name for it.” She snorted a little when she laughed.

 

I leaned forward, grinning and asked, “did he try that with you too?”

 

“Sss .. .ssimilar,” she stuttered, “but not quite as… _ahhh_ … close or for such a long time… “ she let her voice trail off.

 

“How long did you watch us Tosh?”

 

She blushed furiously and then she apologized again. “I’m so sorry. It was pretty _hmmm_ hot though.” She giggled and covered her mouth with a slender hand.

 

My cheeks were starting to ache from the uncontrollable grin stretching wide across my face.

 

“Did he hit on you the whole time?” she asked breathlessly.

 

I shrugged and did my best Jewish grandmother impression, “ ** _meh…_** most of it.”

 

“But you turned him down didn’t you?”

 

I nodded.

 

“You don’t fancy him?”

 

I blew out a long breath and admitted, “oooh, I do.”

 

“Everybody does,” she complained. She shook her head partly in disgust and partly in disbelief. “Then why’d you turn him down?” she asked finally.

 

“I’m seeing somebody – a very nice man - his name is Colin.”

 

“Oh, I see.”

 

We stared down into our glasses for a moment.

 

Then she blurted, “he’s been staring at you ever since.”

 

“I know,” I agreed. “It’s weird.”

 

“He doesn’t usually act so… _moony_.”

 

“What do mean?”

 

“Well, he just says what he wants and what he thinks. If he thinks somebody’s hot he just says so, man or woman – it doesn’t matter.”

 

I shrugged a shoulder and added, “it’s a good policy.”

 

“You too?” She sounded sincerely distraught.

 

“Well, I’m a touch more subtle than he is.”

 

“I imagine so.” She paused then asked, “so do you only date men?”

 

“No not at all. It doesn’t really matter to me. I date who I like, who I’m attracted to.”

 

“But you _are_ attracted to him right?” she pressed.

 

“Oh, definitely.” I answered quickly without giving it much thought.

 

“Then… do you think you two’ll ever… ?”

 

“Well, two things really: I’m in love with Colin and I don’t think he’s ready for a relationship. Certainly not ready for me.”

 

She chuckled.

 

“He’d have to adjust his natural tendencies quite a bit before he and I could…”

 

“Oh, you mean his wandering eye!” She blurted out the words a little too loudly and a few people looked our way.

 

“It’s not just his eye that wanders…” I teased.

 

“I’ll bet!”

 

“You’d be right.” I sobered and added, “if he wants to date me then he needs to work harder at not being a complete… tramp.”

 

“Harsh.”

 

“But true.”

 

“Ya.”

 

Just then Jack popped his head between us and asked, “what you two talking about?”

 

“You.”

 

“Oh, really?” he asked excitedly.

 

“We’re talking about your faults,” I explained.

 

“Your failings as a potential mate,” she added.

 

“Ow.” He pressed a hand to his chest.

 

“You have a long way to go,” Tosh said and patted him on the shoulder.

 

“Ouch.” His face fell and he looked more like a wounded animal and less like a psychotic Gibbon.

 

“The truth hurts,” I mused.

 

He looked at me intently and asked, “if I change my ways would you consider changing your mind?” He’d found his grin and his eyes glittered with challenge.

 

“Maybe, but it would have to be an _impressive change_ ,” I said offhandedly and took a drink.

 

“I can do impressive,” he said in a low, sultry voice.

 

“I don’t mean impressive between the sheets Jack. I’m talking about being an impressive partner.”

 

“Thwarted!” Tosh interjected.

 

He shook his head in dismay but he was still grinning. “You’ll be the death of me,” he declared.

 

“Oh, I doubt that very much Jack,” I argued.

 

He had no better come back so he took out the really big guns. “Ianto… just shut up.”

 

“Make me.” I wiggled my head back and forth like an Egyptian.

 

“I will…” he threatened.

 

“You don’t scare me.” And he didn’t. And he knew it too.

 

“I should,” he whined, “I scare everybody else.”

 

“They don’t know what I know.”

 

“Oh and what is that?”

 

I merely raised an eyebrow.

 

“Hmmm,” he fumed, “I **_really_** want to hate you.”

 

Tosh sat there, grinning like a fool, her head swept back and forth between us as our argument deteriorated from its lofty intellectual heights.

 

“But you can’t.”

 

“No and why is that?” He complained loudly with a distinctive whiney edge.

 

I made a funny scrunched up face, leaned towards him and then speaking loud enough for Tosh to still hear I said, “you’re **_drawn_** to me.”

 

“Maybe,” he said flippantly.

 

“You think about me **_all the time_**.”

 

“Possibly,” he admitted grudgingly.

 

“You even **_dream_** about me.”

 

“That’s not fair,” he whined pathetically.

 

I leaned closer still. “You fantasize about doing me over your desk - **_hell_** probably over **_my_** desk.”

 

*Silence*

 

*Raised eyebrows*

 

He took my glass out of my hand and guzzled it down.

 

“Wow,” said Tosh, “I’ve never seen him speechless before.”

 

He glared at her.

 

“Nice going Ianto.” She congratulated me with a clap on the back. “You’re my hero.”

 

Jack glared some more.

 

She made a point of looking dramatically between us and then declared, “I’m off to bed.” She smiled and gave us each a hug goodnight before she left.

 

“I guess that just leaves you and me… whatever **_shall_** we talk about?” I raised an eyebrow teasingly.

 

Jack just moaned and melodramatically dropped his head to the table into the protection of his crossed arms.

 

I sighed. It was going to be a long night, one that involved either a cold shower or a booty call.

 

When Jack brought his head up only moments later his gaze locked onto mine and he warned, “you’re playing with fire.”

 

“I know,” I quipped flippantly.

 

He looked utterly confused, shook his head and closed his eyes. “I don’t… I don’t get you. One minute you’re hot, the next you’re cold then you’re flirty. I don’t know what to expect from you.”

 

“I’m a complicated guy.”

 

“I believe that. But tell me one thing… if you’re really in love with this guy Colin like you say… then why do you bother flirting with me?”

 

“Come on? Seriously? _You?_ The master of flirtation? Captain of the Innuendo Squad? You’re asking me why I flirt! I thought flirting was like breathing for you!” I’d gradually moved towards him and my voice had progressively increased in volume as my rant wore on. By the last word I’d even gone so far as to poke him in the chest with a solitary finger.

 

“Okay, okay… yes… you’re right. I have been known to flirt…”

 

I made a _don’t-give-me-that-bullshit_ face and he promptly changed his tune.

 

“… alright… I flirt **_a lot_** … always have… with everyone. But that doesn’t mean I’m not genuinely confused right now.” A frown marred his normally smooth forehead and his eyes were narrowed and dark. He was confused, I could see it plainly.

 

“Fair enough. Maybe I’m confused too and I’m flirting to compensate.”

 

He nodded slightly giving me the point.

 

“And another thing,” I continued, “you and I both know it’s quite possible to care for two people at the same time.”

 

“I know… I’m sorry I even said that. I was just trying to piss you off.”

 

“It worked.”

 

“Sorry.”

 

“Forgiven.” I’d finished my drink so I slipped off my stool. I put my coat back on and when I turned around to say goodbye Jack was already up and laying cash on the table for the tab.

 

“I’ve got it. Let me walk you out.”

 

“Okay.” _Be calm_ , I coached myself. _No need to panic_. _You’re just two people walking out of a door together_.

 

He’d graciously held the door open for me. I smiled appreciatively and thanked him. We walked side by side down the dimly lit street. He was walking very close; his arm brushed against mine and with every step my breathing came faster.

 

“So, I spoke to Tosh about watching the CCTV footage of our time in the range.” I’ve always detested uncomfortable silences mostly because I usually attempt to end them with ridiculous small talk.

 

“I saw that. She’s quick, I’ll give her that. You certainly called that one. Do I need to talk to her?”

 

“No,” I shook my head, “I don’t think so.” I chuckled. “She was paying attention to your _technique_ more than anything.” I snorted at his confused look.

 

“What do you mean my _technique_?”

 

“We’ve coined it the _Trademark Harkness Training Method_. Have you sexually harassed all of your employees in the guise of –“

 

Mid-word, he grabbed me by the shoulders and shoved me up against a wall. My words tapered off and were completely forgotten. He pressed into me and we stood nearly eye to eye. His were smoldering, smoky, dark and lust filled. Mine, I imagine, were slightly more shocked than anything.

 

“Jack… wha..”

 

“Zip it,” he commanded. “You,” he ran his hand up my arm, “are” he slid a knee between my legs, “a” his thumb came to rest on the clef in my chin and his fingers brushed across my ear, “tease,” he leaned in and pressed his chest against mine. He stopped when his lips were a hair’s breadth away from mine.

 

I froze, utterly and completely. My mind - you know, the good part – was calling for action – demanding that I push him away but the bad part was in charge of the present situation and it called for the status quo. So I stood there still as a statue only with a much better blood flow and a highly functioning heart and all I could do was allow my eyes to flicker back and forth between his lips and his eyes. If I stared too long I’d be lost in those eyes and against my better judgement I was drawn to those luscious slightly parted lips.

 

“You’ve lit a flame. I told you, you’re playing with fire. I don’t like to be played with.”

 

And I was back. “Neither do I!”

 

He was taken aback, well only his head, the rest of him stayed exactly where it was. “I haven’t played with you,” he insisted.

 

“You have! I’ve told you exactly what I want – and I won’t settle for anything less Jack. But be clear – if you push me – I’ll push back – and that includes flirting,” I trust my hips forward for emphasis, “and rubbing up against me,” I gripped his jaw and pulled his face forward until it was close to mine again,” is flirting.” I meant for my voice to sound harsh with anger but it may have been misconstrued as thick with lust.

 

A slow grin crept across his lips but I saw him swallow. “You’re right, again. I was… flirting … playing a bit…” he changed his words when I challenged him with a look, “… **_a lot_** in the shooting range.”

 

We stood there, in battle stance for _an-unbelievably-long-time_ and then something flickered in his eyes; he leaned forward and kissed me. In my defense, my hands did come up and press against his chest and I did pull my head back as far as I could but _there was a wall behind me_. The prosecution would provide the court with a disgraceful recording of me moaning into his mouth but I certainly wasn’t the only one moaning!

 

Furthermore, I couldn’t move left or right; his leg was still slotted between mine. I was pinioned against a brick wall for goodness sake! What could I do?

 

Also, my reasoning powers had fled the scene of the crime, leaving me bereft and vulnerable to the seductive lure of the taste of his mouth and the seemingly endless supply of hands that broke through my security system and freely roamed my… _property_.

 

When exactly does moaning turn into groaning? And what do you even call that high-pitched overly aroused, ready to pop, severely needy --- _whine_? All the moaning and groaning and whining were sure to lead to an extended session of self-deprecating self-loathing, but not just yet.

 

I know, I know. I am a weak willed man, especially when it comes to Jack. He’s my Achilles heel, my Medusa’s head in bag, my Road-Runner and I am only going to get shot in the ankle, turned to stone and then smashed over the head by a rock. This way leads to madness and pain. _Beep-beep_!

 

Finally, we broke for air and I was able to gather some morsel of inner strength. I dropped my forehead to his and heaved the words from deep within. “Jack, stop. I can’t. You know I want to but now is not the time. You can’t give me what I want – what I need – so now is just not the right time.”

 

“I wanna give you what you want Ianto.” He tried to lift my chin but I kept it pulled tight. He sighed. “I just don’t know _what that means_.”

 

“You’ll figure it out. I know you will. But only when you’re ready Jack and not a moment before.”

 

“Ianto… I…”

 

“It’s okay. I know.” I swept my hand gently, lovingly across his cheek. “We can be great together, you know? Amazing.”

 

“I have no doubt.” For once he didn’t leer. His voice was serious and his eyes shone brightly with determination.

 

.

**_Continued in… 5 – Get Yer Groove On_ **

 

_  
_


	5. Get Yer Groove On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> October 27, 2005
> 
> A song, a little dance and a date to remember.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Exile owns Kiss You All Over – all hale Exile

 

 **AS WE NEARED SAMHAIN** the weather turned ferocious, bringing with it a near freezing rain and a penetrating wind that was cold and biting. The rift was active and seemed to dump some variation of alien refuse on the Cardiff streets every other day or so. We’d only had a few alien visitors since I’d started and they were mainly tourists who were peacefully sent on their way.

 

Since my field agent duties had been so undemanding I’d been able to focus most of my energies on the archives and on making the hub run more smoothly. The first thing I did was institute a new archival system which I promptly taught to the rest of the team.

 

“All new documents will be immediately scanned and cross-referenced like so.” I demonstrated the new scanner while the rest of the team looked on. Jack watched quietly, his mere presence a show of support. Every so often he’d glare pointedly at Owen or Suzie if they mumbled or stopped paying attention.

 

Since the shooting range incident I’d become acutely aware of his eyes following me around the hub; I felt the heat of his gaze penetrate my exposed flesh. I’d never really understood what they meant by _undressing you with their eyes_. It had been an expression - nothing more, something you read about in a smutty romance novel – _if you read that type of thing_. But this… this was entirely **_real_**. I could see him moving pieces of my clothing _with his eyes_ , popping buttons, sliding zips down… _oh-my-giddy-aunt_. I was becoming frazzled, to say the least.

 

I had to force myself to focus on the task at hand. I moved to the computer terminal that I’d set up next to the scanner and I demonstrated the proper procedure for the team. “You will then select the most descriptive tags for each document like so. I have set up the tag cloud so we will be able to search all our documents by key word and by frequency of use. Everything is cross-referenced. All paper copies will be submitted for alphabetical filing.”

 

I handed out the written instructions which basically summarized everything that I’d been saying. “Every member of the team will complete their own paperwork, give it to Jack for his signature then you’ll scan it and tag it.”

 

Our eyes met and his dark gaze flickered for a millisecond and I felt him undo the last button of my shirt. “Once that’s done put it here and I’ll file it - eventually.” I summed up in a very business-like manner and turned to Jack. “There is always going to be a backlog of filing, and it’s been that way for at least a decade, a few more months aren’t going to make any difference.” _Oh please stop doing that with your eyes,_ I pleaded in my head, _I can’t think straight!_

 

He smiled and nodded in agreement. “Absolutely. Thank you Ianto.” His voice was smoky, musky and slick with desire.

 

“You’re welcome.” I cleared my throat and pushed those thoughts away. “Any questions?” I asked the rest of the team.

 

“When does the new system begin?” asked Tosh.

 

“Now,” said Jack.

 

Owen and Suzie groaned their distaste but Tosh seemed rather happy about the changes. I had a feeling that she’d been doing more than her fair share of paperwork and filing for quite a long time.

 

They dispersed and resumed work on their respective projects, all but Jack. “Ianto?” He angled his head towards his office. “Join me in my office please.”

 

“Sure.” I picked up my ever present notebook and followed him up the clanking metal stairs. To say that I felt a deep sense of trepidation may have been an award-winning understatement.

 

“Sit down.” He sauntered around his desk. “That was good. Great ideas.” He leaned back in his chair and plopped his feet up on the desk. “Things will run much smoother and I’m guessing Tosh will be doing a lot less work as a result.” I couldn’t tell if his words were loaded, laden or just complimentary.

 

“That’s what I was thinking.” My eyes flicked across his face and got caught in the rip-tide of the swirling blue depths of his eyes. “She was the only one not complaining.” I needed to get my mind out of the gutter. Chances were good that I was imagining the whole scenario.

 

“I noticed.” As a matter of principle he tried to avoid micromanaging his team but sometimes his hands-off approach just allowed certain members to abuse the system.

 

“Anything… else?” I was jittery and nervous. My voice must have given it away.

 

He nodded and his feet dropped to the floor. He leaned forward and interlaced his fingers on top of his desk. “So… do you have everything you need down there?”

 

I nodded. “Ya, thank you. I’ve set up a little corner where I can put my coffee cup.” I laughed nervously.

 

“Good. _Uhm_ … did Tosh get the computer you asked for?”

 

“Oh yes, it’s perfect. I have everything I need.” I felt like he was toying with me.

 

“Great.” He paused. “So do ya have… dinner plans this evening?”

 

I sat, unblinking and silent for a moment while he held my gaze. “No, not really.” Maybe I wasn’t imagining it after all.

 

He nodded but he didn’t smile exactly; it was more of a grimace. He was nervous. “Can I… would you like to have dinner with me?” He held his breath.

 

“Jack ...” I wasn’t sure if I could be alone with him without my mouth accidentally coming into contact with his.

 

“Just dinner.” He held his hands out in supplication. “I promise. Look I’m really bad at this. I should be better.” He ran a hand through his hair nervously. “I’ve been around… _ahem_ … for a long time. Seen the beginning of the Century,” he declared. He was talking with his hands the way someone’s French mother does when she’s ranting with her sisters. “I’ve watched people avidly. But I really don’t have much experience in this arena. With sex – yes, but polite, innocent dating – none. So, please have pity on me? Have dinner with me? I promise – I’ll be the perfect gentleman.” He looked at me earnestly; his eyes beseeched me, his words begged for a chance.

 

“How can I say no to an offer like that?” I smiled. _Fool,_ my inner realist derided _you know he doesn’t need your pity!_

 

He let out a breath of relief. “Thank you, you won’t regret it!”

 

“Just dinner,” I reminded him before I stood up and turned to go ( _ran away)._

 

His head bobbed in understanding and his grimace transformed into a smile.

 

.

 **I SPENT THE REST OF THE MORNING** down in the archives ( _hiding_ ) doing some filing and organizing. I’d set up my desk in the main room. It was equipped with a laptop and mini speakers. I’d made myself a playlist, something to listen to in the background while I worked. I was feeling pretty good.

 

_Jack had actually asked me out to dinner._

_On a date. I mean dinner – just dinner._

_What a concept._

_Who’d of thought it was even possible?_

As I said, I was in a good mood. When I’m in a good mood and I listen to music I tend to dance. I’ve even been known to sing.

 

I’ve always been a sucker for Exile. I love a good seventy’s classic.

 

Unbeknownst to me, Jack had come down to let me know that lunch had arrived. And to my utter mortification and to his utter delight he’d come upon me at the very height of self-indulgence.

 

He stood just out of sight, watching and listening as I proceeded to catapult myself into the very depths of mortification. I’d always loved that cheesy song and I was especially happy, looking forward to our dinner date. I had no idea he was there.

 

I laid the stack of files out on the desk so they were easily accessible. I turned on the music and picked one up. The song began with those familiar bars… then my feet just began to move to the music. I slid across the floor in my slippery dress shoes and began to sing.

 

“When I get home, babe,” I murmured in my sexiest voice.

[ _Slide – slide – slide_ ]

“Gonna light your fire.” I slid the file into the correct spot.

[S _lide – slide – slide_ ]

I picked up the next file with a flourish and travelled back across the room.

[ _Spin - slide – slide – slide, sweep left - sweep right_ ]

And all the while I was singing my heart out, belting out those well-practiced words in perfect sync with the music. “All day, I've been thinkin' about you, babe.” I had a great rhythm going.

[ _Swoosh - swoosh… hip thrust - hip thrust_ ]

“You're my one desire.” I threw my head back dramatically then I spun around and did a patented Saturday Night Fever move that even John Travolta would have been proud of.

[ _Sashay – disco arm – disco arm – side thrusting_ ]

My voice rang out bold and oblivious. “Gonna wrap my arms around you.” I ran my now empty hands down my sides in a tantalizing manner as I made a passionate promise. “Hold you close to me!”

[ _Pelvic thrust followed by a bent legged hip wiggle_ ]

“Oh, babe, I wanna taste your lips,” I begged. “I wanna be your fantasy, yeahhhhh.” I was enjoying myself thoroughly and I really dragged out that last word.

 

He let me continue until I’d done my entire _hip wiggling - pelvic trusting –sashaying - disco arm thing_. At least he only let me get through the first verse.

 

Then he came around the corner and said, “nice dance moves sexy.” He stood there, be-grinned with one arm leaning up against the wall with his eye brows waggling in a teasing manner.

 

I almost died. But instead of dying, I spun around and my mouth hung down somewhere around my knees. I made every effort to capture my wayward lower jaw and held it tightly to my face with both hands.

 

He chuckled - **_at me -_** **_not with me_** \- and finally said what he’d come down to say in the first place. “Lunch is here,” he declared.

 

Dumbfounded, I stood there.

 

He turned and went back the way he came. Over his shoulder he tossed a promise of future surveillance. He said, “remind me to come down here more often.”

 

.

 

* * *

_TW    Ianto’s Journal    TW    Ianto’s Journal   TW_

* * *

 

 

_October26, 2005_

**_To do:_ **

  * _die, just let me die_
  * _avoid further song and dance performances if at all possible_



**_Not to do_ ** _:_

  * _DO NOT FALL INTO HIS BED TONIGHT_
  * ?



_I can’t believe Jack caught me singing and dancing. Especially to that song! Gods if he only knew my fantasy. I am so flaming mortified. It took me a few to compose myself and every drop of willpower to follow him up the stairs. All throughout lunch my gut was coiled with anxiety. I felt like tossing the entire time._

_At the very least, I’d expected him to make a comment about my song and dance routine but it never happened. I dare say, when he didn’t say anything I started to suspect the worst. I feared he might produce some CCTV footage for the rest of the team’s enjoyment – but he didn’t. I thought for sure I’d be the butt of every joke from now until the end of time._

_He never even brought it up. He did grin at me an awful lot today though and I’m sure he will for the next while. I’m almost positive I heard him humming the tune under his breath during the meeting this afternoon._

_I’m just waiting for him to finish up so we can go to dinner. Our date that is **not** a date. I can’t wait… well for a lot of things… but we’ll just start with dinner. _

 

* * *

_TW    Ianto’s Journal    TW    Ianto’s Journal   TW_

* * *

 

 

.

 **I SAT ON THE SLIGHTLY MINGING SOFA** that graced our hallowed hub while I waited for Jack to finish up a call and wrote a few lines in my journal. _What a day_ , I thought. And it wasn’t over with yet. I still had dinner to get through. Well, by get through I meant ‘ _get through without accidentally losing my clothes and finding myself in bed with Jack_ ’.

 

Suddenly, he appeared right next to me, like he does sometimes. I suspect he tries to sneak up on me every now and again just to prove that he still can. Or perhaps he was trying to see what I was writing.

 

“What ya writing?” He tried to peer over my shoulder but I snapped the book shut with a loud _thwap_.

 

“Private thoughts,” I said tersely.

 

“Okay. I won’t peak. Please don’t be mad,” he added teasingly.

 

I blanched. I had very little to be mad about. After all, he hadn’t even outed me for my little performance - yet. “I’m not. How could I be mad? You haven’t done a thing.” I smiled and slipped my journal into my splendid new _low-profile-man-bag_. “So where to?”

 

“Oh, you’ll see soon enough. Come on, I’ll drive.”

 

I followed him to the SUV. “Not even a hint?” I wheedled.

 

“They serve food there,” he deadpanned.

 

“Good to know funny man.” I had to grin. His delivery was spot on.

 

He drove, like he always does, as if the universe were ending. I figure it’s his way of staying primed in case of a real emergency. Don’t want to get out of practice. That just wouldn’t do. Let’s just say that the _holy-shit-bar_ is well used in the Torchwood SUV.

 

He slid into the last remaining parking space just a fraction of a second before an old man in a _long-awkward-pimp-mobile_ was about to. He’d been teetering on the precipice and had been just about to take the plunge only Jack beat him to it. We were out, car doors locked and at the restaurant door before the old man got his window rolled down low enough to be able to give us a piece of his mind.

 

It was lovely, dark and atmospheric. Exotic spices scented the warm air and shaded candle light danced playfully at the center of each blue tiled table. Spanish guitar music played softly in the background and the lady who greeted us handled Jack with a surprising level of intimacy that spoke of a sordid tale or two. She kissed him on each cheek and then once firmly on the lips while her robust hips pressed up against him. He whispered something in her ear which made her pull away and chuckle. “Oh, Jack. You torture me,” she breathed heartily.

 

He introduced us. “Elena this is my very good friend Ianto.”

 

She slid away from him seductively and approached me like a stealthy mountain lion on the hunt. “Ianto…” she breathed, “it is my pleasure to meet you.” She ran her hands up my jacket lapels and then wrapped her long fingers around the edges at either side of my neck. She had me gulping for air; her heady blend of perfume and natural womanly scent made my head spin; it also made me stutter like an idiot. “N .. nice t .. to meet you… Elena.” Her ample papaya shaped breasts brushed up against my chest and I almost stopped breathing when she slid her hands inside my coat and slipped it off my shoulders. The only thing I was aware of at that moment was the heat coming off her hands; I could feel it radiating through my dress shirt and it scorched me, utterly and completely. It was a good thing it was dark, is all I’m saying. All the better to hide the growing bulge in my pants.

 

By the time she’d taken both of our coats and hung them up I’d considered taking up smoking and I sure as hell needed a drink. “Holy shit, Jack.” I muttered once we were seated. “She’s…” I swallowed and tried to find the words… _Hot? Sexy as hell? Sex on legs_? I settled for, “incredible.”

 

He snorted. “You said it. She is all that… and more.”

 

“Oh, I’m sure. You and her?” I suggested a little conspiratorially.

 

Clearly, he was trying to look like he wasn’t trying to smile but he failed miserably.

 

“I can’t blame you. She’s insanely hot. She could have had her way with me in the entrance and I wouldn’t have said nay.”

 

“Well, let me just call her back here…” he offered playfully.

 

I held up my hands in protest. “No. Please no. I’m not strong enough. She’d break me.”

 

“Oh, ya. She would. She’s the breaking kind.” He leaned forward and spoke cheekily.

 

“Is that a recent thing? How long has it been?” I asked nonchalantly.

 

“Oh, not for years.” He looked at her wistfully.

 

“So, what did you whisper in her ear?”

 

“I told her we were on a date.”

 

“Oh.” I was shocked and at a loss for words.

 

He just smiled. Probably because I didn’t insist once again that it wasn’t a date.

 

“What’s good here?” I flipped through the menu but my mind was racing. I was having trouble concentrating on the words.

 

“Everything. Especially the… Do you like seafood?”

 

“Sure. Why don’t you order your favorites?” I suggested. I figured since he’d probably tried everything on the menu he’d be able to make a wiser choice than I.

 

“Okay, if ya don’t mind. Wine or beer?”

 

“How about wine? Red?” I suggested.

 

“Sounds great. They have a good Chilean. You’ll love it.”

 

“I’ll leave it up to you. I’m in your hands,” I said with a grin.

 

“Now that sounds promising.” He graced me with a full-bodied leer.

 

“Gentleman remember?” I reminded him with a chiding tone.

 

“I’m being a gentleman. I’m just a flirty gentleman is all,” he retorted.

 

I shook my head and frowned in mock disapproval but my smile gave away my real feelings. I loved his flirty banter; I couldn’t get enough of it.

 

The food was phenomenal, the music was beautiful, the wait staff attentive and thoughtful. Jack was entertaining and playful. It was an amazing dinner date. He tried to spoon feed me chocolate mousse but I resisted so he called Elena over and asked her to do it. He insisted, “one should not have to feed oneself chocolate mousse. It’s against some rule, somewhere. I’m sure of it.”

 

She was delighted. She actually sat on my lap and fed me a mouthful of the sexiest chocolate mousse I have ever experienced. I could have killed him. He was enjoying himself more than anyone should be allowed to. Luckily for me, she was called away by a very stern looking man from the kitchen. Judging from the scowl on his face, he was definitely not as delighted as we were by what he saw.

 

 “I’ve never been so turned on by chocolate mousse before,” I admitted between gasps and laughter. This time Jack laughed - **_with me_** **_\- not at me_**.

 

“That was priceless. Your face! You are priceless.” His eyes glittered and he looked at me intently.

 

“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.”

 

“I did. It looked like you did too?” He raised a brow questioningly.

 

”You’d have to be dead, not to.” I snarfed down the last spoon of mousse and made an appropriately _oh-my-gods-this-is-fucking-incredible_ expression along with the accompanying sounds.

 

“So would you… date her?” He fished for my answer and wiggled his eyebrows.

 

“Well, ya if she asked. But I really don’t think I’m her type. She’s just playing around, isn’t she?”

 

“I don’t think so. She’s not like that with all the patrons.”

 

“Just you and your guests I take it?” I shot back.

 

He shrugged. “Maybe, she’s looking for a threesome. I don’t know.”

 

“Oh come on! You’re shitting me!”

 

“Stranger things…” Jack smiled but he seemed a bit distracted.

 

“Something on your mind Jack?”

 

“I was just thinking… you’re not like most men. You’re not as constrained by 21st Century hang-ups. It’s refreshing. I like it.”

 

“Thanks Jack” His compliment warmed me like a smoldering fire.

 

He drove me home around ten. He parked across the street from my flat and left the engine running. “Are you going to invite me up?” he asked.

 

“Absolutely not.” I said firmly. _Keep him away from your bed_ , I reminded myself.

 

He sighed wistfully. “Too bad. I was looking forward to seeing your place,” he added.

 

I shook my head. “Not going to happen. Certainly not tonight.”

 

“Afraid I might try and take advantage of you?” he asked innocently.

 

“Hell ya. I’m sure of it,” I proclaimed.

 

He huffed. “Busted.”

 

“Good-night Jack.” I said more firmly. “Thank you. I had a great time. The food, the restaurant and the _ahh_ service was amazing.” I chuckled and reached for the door handle.

 

“Ianto…” he said my name quietly and I stopped. He took a deep breath before he spoke. “You know I want to… _date_ you right?”

 

“I know Jack.” I spoke equally as quiet.

 

“I just want to make sure you know. And if you should suddenly change your mind… well the offers on the table. Until then though, I can’t promise that I’m going to stop… flirting.”

 

I nodded. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.” I said finally and then graced him with one final smile before I slipped out of the car and scurried off to the safety of my flat.

 

.

**_Continued in… 6 – Follow the Retcon Road_ **

 


	6. Follow the Retcon Road

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> November 2 - 27, 2005
> 
> Ianto and Tosh spy on Suzie.

**THE END OF MY FIRST MONTH** working for Torchwood Three was fast approaching and it had gone quite smoothly, all things considered. My premature insertion into the team had upset things a little though and I was starting to feel the effect my presence was having.

 

Jack had started acting strangely around Suzie and she was getting frustrated. She had no interest in ending their sexual relationship and continued to make advances but was rebuffed each and every time.

 

His attentions had shifted – _ever since I joined_ \- and a dangerous situation was developing, for me at least. I still caught him staring every now and again. He’d also started flirting more frequently and in front of the others. In private he continued his attempts to woo. He was being way too obvious. As Tosh had so aptly put it, _he was mooning over me_.

 

He didn’t realize he was putting me in danger of course. How could he? He still trusted her, _his second in command_. He had no idea she was insane.

 

She was getting jealous and seriously pissed. And I knew from experience, you didn’t want Suzie pissed at you, unless you wanted to wake up dead. She’d killed for less. Hell, she’d killed just so she could _test the fucking glove_. She was certifiable. I still had no idea how to eliminate her before she could do any real harm. As far as I knew, she’d only been excessively Retconning the Pilgrim group. Oh, and she’d probably started programming that guy Max with the poem and other subliminal triggers. I’d need to talk to Jack about checking for her hidden shut-down program. We’d need to up security. What I needed to do was _lock her up_. But without proof… well I’m not sure Jack would even believe me.  
.

 

**EVERY THURSDAY NIGHT, LIKE CLOCKWORK** , no matter what we were doing, Suzie disappeared. No one had any idea what she was doing or where she went, except me and I wasn’t supposed to know. I needed to find some proof to back-up the claims I would soon make. She’d started exhibiting paranoid, erratic behaviour but neither Jack nor the others had yet to notice. I needed a co-conspirator, someone on my side, someone in the loop to a certain extent and Tosh was the perfect choice.

 

Convincing her wasn’t very hard; she’d come to the conclusion that something wasn’t right about Suzie many, many moons ago. All she needed was a little push.

 

I rolled my chair closer to Tosh and leaned close. “Tosh,” I whispered. “I need to talk to you in private. Got a minute?” I led her down into the archives, to a room without surveillance of any kind.

 

“What is it?” she asked nervously.

 

“It’s Suzie,” I said simply.

 

She arched her lovely eyebrows quizzically.

 

“There’s something very wrong about her. I think she’s becoming unstable. I think she’s dangerous.” I waited nervously for her reaction.

 

She bit the inside of her lip and nodded after a moment. “I’ve had a bad feeling about her. I thought it was her personality. You know? We just clash. We always have.” She sighed. Suzie had treated Tosh with poorly veiled distain since the first time they’d met.

 

“I know what you mean,” I sympathized; it was hard watching Suzie and Tosh interact. Their clashes invariably left her feeling unworthy and at times less than human. “But it’s more than that,” I insisted. “I’ve been tracking her Retcon usage. She takes some every week when she goes out on Thursday night. There’s something not right about that.”

 

“Really? Have you told Jack?” Her eyes brightened and narrowed at the mere suggestion of evidence to support our suspicions.

 

I shook my head. “No. She’s his second. He totally trusts her. I need to bring him proof before I accuse her of anything.”

 

She considered, hesitated then said, “I’m not so sure about that. I don’t think he trusts her as much as you think. And if we had proof… I think he’d believe us.” She started to pace, a finger tapped her lip in time with her thoughts.

 

My eyebrows shot up. “So, let’s get some proof.” And when she nodded I added. “We’ll follow her tomorrow night.”

 

We followed her for the next couple of Thursday nights. We recorded what we saw and once she’d left we checked the place out and collected some pamphlets about the Pilgrim group. Tosh worked out that it was a support group and I played dumb. If Tosh gathered the proof it would lend more weight to our findings in the end. I suggested that we record her conversation using the long distance _alien-spy-gadget-thingy_ Tosh liked to play with. It was eye-opening to say the least.

 

Tosh wanted to go to Jack immediately once she’d realized Suzie was divulging Torchwood secrets and Retconning her so-called-friend Max each and every week and had been for years. But I convinced her we should document several weeks if not more.  I wanted to catch her trying to plant her murderous triggers in the act. We continued going together as often as we could. We made a big show of our regular Thursday night dates at the hub to explain our joint absences. We’d pick up take-out and eat in the car or in a park. It became a pleasant ritual albeit one that was shrouded in deceitful spying and predacious intent.

 

After all was said and done, Tosh performed an unprecedented feat of data synthesis which once compiled made it perfectly clear to the intended reader [i.e. Jack] that Suzie was up to absolutely no good. We assembled our presentation and waited until Thursday night when Suzie wouldn’t be around before we met with Jack.

 

He was seriously miffed, after he got over the shock and denial that is. He didn’t want to believe it of her; he couldn’t. If it was true and he _had_ misjudged her so badly, he’d suspect his judgement in all other respects as well. If his ability to read people was diminished then he just didn’t know who he was. Jack took it hard.

 

“Fuck,” was all he said at first. He’d read, reread and then read again. He’d scoured every single piece of evidence for a flaw, something that would exonerate her. Then his eyes went cold and steely and his shoulders hardened. He sat back in his chair and closed his eyes as if he were trying to block out the pain of betrayal.

 

“Jack, I’m sorry,” said Tosh before she stood up and walked out of his office leaving us alone.

 

“How long have you suspected?” His voice was still angry but more resigned than it had been.

 

I sighed and flinched inwardly. “A while,” I admitted. “But I had no proof,” I explained quickly. “You wouldn’t have believed me without it and we both know it,” I insisted.

 

His eyes remained closed and he looked to be in pain. He ran his palms over his face and then ran them through his hair leaving it messed and standing on end. “I know. I just wish…” he shook his head and grimaced leaving his wish unspoken.

 

“What can I do for you Jack?” I so wanted to ease his pain. I stood up and moved behind him. I placed my hands lightly on his shoulders. He groaned and rested the back of his head on my stomach but his eyes remained shut. I massaged his shoulders and cajoled his tense and abused muscles a fraction nearer to relaxation.

 

“Thank you,” he said after a few moments. “Tell me how you knew. I didn’t have a clue and I’ve known her for years. You’ve known her a month. Am I really such a bad judge of character?” He begged me to reassure him.

 

“She’s been acting paranoid and erratic.” I told him the same thing I’d told Tosh. It had been enough for her but when he opened his eyes, the glint there told me his _bullshit-radar_ was raising a red flag. “Sometimes, I know things Jack and I won’t be able to tell you how. I need you to trust me. Trust that my intentions are good. I am loyal to you. I won’t betray you. I swear it.”

 

He stared at me intently searching my face, my eyes for any signs of deception. He found none, as there weren’t any to find. He simply nodded but the qualification was clear: okay **_for now_**.

 

I hadn’t been able to find evidence of her mental tampering, the triggers she’d implanted in the event of her death. Even so, Max was a potential time-bomb that Jack needed to diffuse. “Jack, there’s another thing. I know there’s no proof here of it but she’s done something else.”

 

He raised an eyebrow and sighed in resignation. “Go on,” he prompted.

 

“She’s implanted some subliminal messages… some triggers in this guy Max. In the event of her death he goes on a murder spree in our name.” I nodded at his incredulous look. “I know. Insane. She’s got a long game planned. She’s also done something to the hub security program. It’s hidden. We’d need Tosh to search for it specifically. It’s a secret way to lock down the hub. It’s a spoken cue – a poem actually. I have no idea how it works just that it does and it’s fucking dangerous.” I drew a long steadying breath in anticipation of his forthcoming disbelief.

 

It wasn’t as forthcoming as I’d thought. I got nothing from him for a full minute – just mute shock. “Shit,” he said. He slumped forward and rested his head in his hands. “What else?” he asked.

 

“Well…” I began, “you know that metal gauntlet she’s been experimenting with?”

 

“Oh, for Christ’s sake!” he swore. Then he listened and I told him a little about the glove and the knife. It had been dredged up out of Cardiff Bay years ago, plunked down on a shelf and long forgotten but a few months ago Tosh had begun tinkering with artifacts in search of useful alien tech. Suzie had taken an immediate liking to _the glove_ as she called it and hadn’t put it down since. As far as Jack knew she hadn’t figured it out yet which meant she probably hadn’t embarked on her murderous rampage as of yet. But it was only a matter of time; I had no doubt about that.

 

Jack seemed more stoic by the moment. Something had clicked in his eyes; he became more distant, more detached. His eyes flickered over the photos and transcripts; he grimaced and clenched his fists. “Dammit Suzie! What the hell’s wrong with you?” he demanded of her photo in a frustrated voice.

 

“Jack, I’m so sorry. I…” I tried to soothe.

 

“You’re sure?” he implored. 

 

I nodded and I told him I was. “If I wasn’t sure I would never have come to you.”

 

He sighed, looked resigned once more and said, “okay then” and slapped the file shut.

 

“What do you want me to do?” I asked.

 

“Find this guy Max. We need him under wraps. We’d need to wipe his programming.”

 

Apparently, poor Max would be getting regressed back to preschool and a nice long vacation at the local mental hospital. Tosh would set out in search of the wayward shut-down command programming first thing tomorrow and new security protocols would be set-up as well.

 

As for Suzie, well he hadn’t decided how to deal with her just yet. I left him alone after a time so he could deal with her betrayal in his own way. I went home and had the longest, hottest shower I’d had in weeks. It didn’t help any. I tried to fall asleep but my mind was reeling with images of Suzie.

 

Every _disturbingly – brilliant - psychotic_ plan she’d ever orchestrated. Suzie was a brilliant yet terrifying serial killer and she had a long dark game that many a criminal mastermind would be envious of.

 

Suddenly, light flared from my night stand obliterating the pitch black of my room. I’d received a text. Very few people would text me at two am and only one was expected tonight. Jack was outside and wanted to come over.

 

I typed my reply telling him to come right up. _What the hell_ , I thought. I wasn’t sleeping anyway, might as well have some company.

 

I opened the door, thinking I’d beat him to the knock but he’d been standing there already. For how long, I had no idea. He looked miserable and exhausted. “Come in,” I said.

 

“Thank you.” He tried to smile but the muscles around his mouth would not obey.

 

I took his coat and hung it up. Then I pushed him gently into the kitchen and told him to sit. I made coffee because everything is better with a good cup of coffee. And even if it was a hollow gesture I thought, _it couldn’t hurt_.

 

“So, have you decided?” I asked while I busied myself.

 

“I think so.” He was hesitant.

 

“I couldn’t sleep either,” I told him. “I’ve been thinking about all the terrible things she could do.”

 

He took the mug of liquid kindness with both hands, took a deep swallow, sighed reverently and then whispered his thanks. “This is wonderful, thank you.”

 

“You’re welcome, Jack. I’m glad you’re here. We might as well be sleepless together.” I said lightly. I waited. I’d set him up for a well-earned jibe, a sexual innuendo at the very least. I waited, yet he said nothing. I tried again. “So it seems you’ve found a way inside my flat after all.”

 

“Hmm? Oh, yes. Sorry. Distracted.” He was drowning in sorrow.

 

“What do you want to do Jack?” I asked him pointedly.

 

“We need to pick her up a.s.a.p.” he said firmly. “I’ll get Tosh on hub security first thing.” He paused to consider. “We’ll need Owen. _Dammit_. We need to keep an eye on her. Don’t want her coming in too early. We have no idea what she’s done to the hub. She could’ve done anything. All this time. I never thought. I am the worst boss in the Solar System. _I am aren’t I_?”

 

“Yep. Pretty terrible,” I deadpanned.

 

“You’re a cruel bastard. You know that?” he whined.

 

“Absolutely,” I agreed quickly, flippantly. Jack did not need any help punishing himself so I didn’t let him dwell on these self-abusive thoughts. He needed help. He’d come to me so I gave him what he needed: a prod and a sounding-board. “Listen, I’ll keep an eye on Suzie. You go to the hub and organize things from there. How about that?”

 

He smiled weakly and nodded in agreement. “Keep your coms on.”

 

“I’ve only got my phone. I’m afraid I left my coms on my desk.” I hadn’t been expecting field work tonight and I’d come home unprepared.

 

He frowned. He wasn’t wearing his com either. “Keep your phone on and call in regularly,” he insisted.

 

“I will,” I assured him.

 

“I’ve got a scanner in the SUV. I’ll leave it with you. It can detect heat signatures at a distance,” he explained. “You’ll be able to tell if she wakes up.”

 

“Sounds good. I’ll get some sleep for a couple of hours and then I’ll head over.”

 

When he left he had a bit more energy and he seemed more determined. He sent a text to Tosh and Owen telling them they’d need to be in early the next day for a special project. He also sent one to Suzie telling her she wasn’t needed until around ten am.

 

 

 

* * *

_TW    Ianto’s Journal    TW    Ianto’s Journal   TW_

* * *

 

_November 26, 2005_

_Shit! Shit! Shit! It’s time. In just a few hours Suzie’s going down. He believed me. He came to my flat looking for ??? I don’t know. An ear? A shoulder? But he came to me. I think he needs me. He’s so disappointed – so sad. I know he cared for her. Did I do this out of spite? I don’t think so. Just had to ask it of myself. I was jealous of her – at first. When I thought he wanted her – cared for her – loved her even. But he didn’t or couldn’t. I haven’t decided yet. Maybe he can’t love anyone – yet. Maybe he needs more bad shit to happen to him before he can love again. Oh Gods, I hope not._

_Suzie… what’s going to happen to her? A bullet maybe. Not Retcon – that’s too easy – too much like forgiveness. He won’t forgive her. I don’t think. I hope he doesn’t because she’s dangerous. I don’t want her around. She too far gone. I sound like a fucking megalomaniac. I am not a god. I do not get to be judge, jury and executioner. I am not that person. I am not!_

**_To do_ ** _: sleep you fool, remember who you are._

**_Not to do_ ** _: don’t turn your back on her._

 

* * *

_TW    Ianto’s Journal    TW    Ianto’s Journal   TW_

* * *

 

 

 

**_Continued in… 7 – The Long Dark Teatime of Suzie’s Soul_ **

 


	7. The Long Dark Teatime of Suzie’s Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ianto’s New Timeline: November 28, 2005
> 
> Suzie gets what she deserves
> 
> Warnings/spoilers/content: some rude language, reference to TW 1.8 - They Keep Killing Suzie

 

 **OWEN HAD JUST** hung up his coat and turned on his computer when Jack walked part way down the medical bay stairs. “Owen, I need you to prepare a syringe. A quick-acting, long-lasting sedative. Enough to knock out an adult female, about 54 kilograms. And I need it yesterday.”

 

“Alright. Got just the thing. Gimme a minute.” He’d been in the middle of logging onto his computer so he hadn’t yet looked up from the screen. But when he did he took in Jack’s tense stance and steely gaze. “Alright… coming right up.”

 

After he’d made eye-contact with Owen and ensured a response he’d swiftly turned around and made to leave but then he stopped mid-stride, turned and added, “Better make it two, just to be safe.”

 

“Who…’ he started to ask who the intended target was but Jack had disappeared as fast as he had appeared. Annoyed, Owen chose to mutter to himself instead. “Fine…. Don’t worry ‘bout me. Just the bloody Doctor me.”

 

Jack went directly to Tosh. “Tosh, I need you to do something for me and I need you to not ask any questions. This is important.” He spoke firmly, using his _Boss_ voice.

 

“Of course, Jack.” She agreed quickly.

 

“I need you to change all access codes to the hub immediately. You’ll need to lock Suzie out of everything including remote access. And I need you to do it right now. Cancel everything.”

 

She stared open-mouthed, shocked for a full ten seconds but then she nodded and went straight to work.

 

“After you’ve changed all the codes I need you to do a search for an audio prompt – it’s probably recent – that sends the hub into automatic lock-down. Ianto can help you with the details.”

 

Her fingers flew deftly across the keyboard jumping from screen to open screen. “An audio prompt? Jack I’ve never–“

 

“–Suzie… wrote it and hid it… somewhere. I can’t explain right now,” he said apologetically.

 

“I understand.” Her mind was reeling. She’d expected him to reprimand Suzie certainly… but this… she hadn’t expected this. “Where’s Ianto?”

 

“Surveillance.” He said shortly.

 

“Ahh.” she realized.

 

“I’ve got what you asked for Jack. Mind telling me what this is about?” Owen stomped up the stairs, still frowning from the earlier insult.

 

“Can’t right now Owen,” Jack retorted. “Need to know only for the time being.”

 

“Alright. Need me to do anything else or was that it?” Owen bit off the words. “Can I go back to sleep now?” he asked petulantly.

 

“I also need…” he sighed, “Something… liquid. Something undetectable that I can put in a drink. Again it needs to be really fast-acting.”

 

He considered. “Not Retcon I take it?”

 

He shook his head. “No, just a sedative.”

 

He turned around and headed back for the medical bay scratching his head.

 

“He doesn’t know does he?” she whispered.

 

“No,” he answered.

 

“I think they’re having a fling.” Tosh told him after a beat.

 

“Shit. I didn’t know that,” he said under his breath.

 

“It’s recent,” she clarified.

 

He stepped closer to her desk. “Does he know about Pilgrim?”

 

“I don’t think so, Jack.” She met his gaze.

 

Jack thought of Owen, considered his options. “Think he’s gonna be a problem?”

 

She shrugged. “Don’t know,” she admitted.

 

He took out his phone and dialed my number. “Anything?” he asked when I picked up.

 

“Nothing. Completely dark. Heat sensor shows she’s still asleep.” I stifled a yawn.

 

“Okay. I may need you here. We have a complication,” he added.

 

“What’s happened?” I could hear the tension in Jack’s voice.

 

Jack walked up to his office before he answered. “Owen and Suzie have been having an affair. I don’t know what he’s gonna do.”

 

“Should I come now? He’ll back her Jack, I know it. You need to give him no choice. Trust me on this.” I thought of Owen’s willfulness, his potential for betrayal.

 

He exhaled sharply. “I agree. I’ll need you back here as soon as Tosh has locked her out.”

 

After a moment another thought came to mind. “Or… we could take her while she’s still asleep…” I suggested tentatively.

 

“Hmm,” he considered, “that might work.” He stood up and ran down the stairs. “Hold on,” he muttered into the phone. “Tosh… how long?”

 

“Just about done. Just two more to go.” She was working frantically.

 

“Remote?” Jack queried.

 

“Already done,” she confirmed.

 

“Plan B looks good,” he told me.

 

“Hold on.” I checked the monitor. “She’s moving,” I announced.

 

“Is she up?” Jack tensed and met Tosh’s nervous eyes.

 

“No, just… she just rolled over. Looks like she’s awake though. What do you want me to do?” I was starting to vibrate from anxiety.

 

“Stay there,” he commanded. “We’re coming to you. I’ll go in, jab her, you two are back up.”

 

“And Owen?” I was worried about his reaction.

 

“He’ll stay here and I’ll deal with him when we get back.”

 

“See you soon then.” I said in confirmation.

 

“Ya, see you in…” He checked his wrist-strap. “Twenty.”

 

Tosh knocked at the door and he waved her in. “Good. Is it done?”

 

“Yes, she’s completely blocked out. But I couldn’t find the program you were talking about.” Tosh was frustrated and embarrassed that she couldn’t find the shut-down program. She was supposed to be the technological wizard.

 

“That’s okay,” he assured her. “We’ve got some time. Does Owen know?”

 

“No, not from me.” She scowled.

 

“Do ya think he overheard?” Jack stood and walked over to stand next to her.

 

“I don’t think so.” She bit her lip and looked up into his eyes, looking for reassurance.

 

He nodded. “You and I are going to her flat. Ianto’s already there. Once we get there, I’ll go in.” He stood in front of her, his hands on her biceps. “I’ll sedate her or subdue her and I’ll need you two to back me up.” He looked into her eyes deeply, looking for understanding, loyalty and something he wasn’t able to define. “We’ll need to transport her back here.”

 

“What about Owen? He’s not going to be cooperative.” Her gaze flicked towards the med bay.

 

“I’ll handle Owen,” he promised. “I need you to get a dart gun and a stun gun for each of us.”

 

“We’re not going kill her right?” Tosh asked hopefully.

 

“This is a non-lethal capture.” His voice was steely.

 

She nodded. She trusted him.

 

“I need a moment to deal with Owen and then I’ll meet you at the SUV.”

 

“Right.” She scurried off. Tosh skitted back to her desk grabbed her coat and then went right to the weapons locker.

 

Owen was on his way up to Jack’s office just as he was collecting his greatcoat. “Owen, I’ll need you to arrange medical transport for our prisoner. She’ll need to be sedated the whole time. Tosh and I are going to pick her up. But while we’re gone I need you to get us a van or something. We’ll need a wheelie bed with restraints and a portable IV for the sedative. We’re taking the prisoner to another facility.”

 

“Where am I supposed to get a van?” Owen whined.

 

“Be resourceful but be quick,” Jack quipped.

 

Jack was down the stairs and out the door before Owen could get another question out.

 

Tosh was waiting for him in the SUV. She was nervous and jumpy. “Jack, how do you know she’s played with the security protocols?”

 

“Ianto’s got proof.” The certainty in his voice reassured her.

 

“Oh, I see.”

 

Neither spoke for the duration of the trip. When they pulled up behind my nondescript two-door Toyota hatchback the street was quiet and Suzie’s flat was still dark.

 

I slid into the backseat of the SUV and Tosh passed me a stun-gun. Jack explained the plan. “I’ll knock at the door and wait until she opens it. I’ll jab her as soon as she turns her back. You two remain close but out of sight. We’ll need to do a quick sweep of her flat, collect anything Torchwood related. We’ll come back later and do a more thorough job. For now I just want her under control. And as I told you Tosh she’s programmed a verbal cue that locks down the hub so she’ll need to be unconscious while she’s in a cell. I’ve got Owen arranging transport; he doesn’t know it’s her though so we’re going to have to deal with him when the time comes. I may need some backup if he fights this but I suspect he’ll come around eventually.”

 

“So, you jab her, I help you carry her and Tosh sweeps the flat?”

 

They all nodded in agreement. “Let’s go,” said Jack tersely.

 

He knocked at the door and waited for her to answer. I still had her on the hand-held infrared motion detector so I saw when she got out of bed. “She’s up,” I whispered into the private com channel.

 

Jack had a loaded syringe in each pocket. His emotions were in turmoil but he was an expert at compartmentalizing. He’d do what was needed even when no one else would. She opened the door with an owlish scowl and grunted at Jack. “You said I could come in late,” she complained.

 

“I know. I need to talk to you,” he said quietly.

 

“Oh, okay. Come in.” She held the door open for him and he walked in. “You want some tea?” she asked.

 

“Ya, that’d be good.” He waited for her to turn, his hand was wrapped around the syringe, and the cap was off. He stepped forward and jabbed the syringe into her neck while at the same time he wrapped a powerful arm around the front of her throat and pulled her against his chest. She struggled and screeched in alarm. His only words were whispered in her ear. “I’m so sorry Suzie.”

 

She collapsed unconscious within moments and he let her limp body fall gently to the floor. “She’s down,” he announced into the com.

 

Tosh and I stood frozen around the corner and when our eyes met remorse and fear were all that showed. “On our way,” declared Tosh.

 

“Get her a… some clothes would you Tosh?” He hadn’t counted on her being half dressed.

 

“Sure.” She strode quickly across Suzie’s flat. She went through her wardrobe and found a selection of warm loose clothing. She dressed her with my help in the hallway where she’d fallen. Jack had taken it upon himself to do the sweep for tech. He unplugged everything electronic and closed the curtains as he checked each room. Suzie would not be coming back here again. He handed the items he’d collected to Tosh and motioned for me to take her feet. We carried Suzie to the backseat of the SUV and then I followed them back to the hub in my own car.

 

Owen hadn’t returned yet when we got back so we carried her to one of the cells and laid her on the steel bench. Jack gagged her and tied her hands and feet together for good measure before locking the door behind her.

 

“You two, I need you armed and ready when Owen gets back. I’ll talk to him in the conference room. I’ll show him the evidence and hope he sees reason but if he balks too much he’ll have to be restrained.” Jack spoke quickly and deliberately as we walked briskly up the stairs back towards the main floor of the hub.

 

Once we reached the main level we stood in a huddle while Jack gave us our assignments. “Tosh I need you to search Suzie’s desk, her computer here and her laptop. Ianto I need you to search for Owen’s piece. There’ll likely be more than one. Make sure there aren’t any weapons lying around. I don’t want to have to shoot him but I will if he pulls a gun. So let’s make sure he doesn’t have access to any weapons shall we.”

 

We darted off to complete our appointed tasks and Jack dragged his feet back up to his office. He had a phone call to make, one that he dreaded making.

 

We’d found two pistols hidden in the medical bay and one in Suzie’s desk. Both Tosh and I were armed with a handgun and a stun-gun for good measure and when the cog door announced his arrival all three of us went on alert.

 

Jack stood at the top of the stairs and shouted, “Owen, conference room.”

 

Owen tossed his leather jacket over the metal railing that ran around the medical bay and jogged up the stairs. Tosh and I followed behind him at a distance.

 

“Have a seat. It’s time that you know what’s going on.” Jack spoke in metered tones, using his _Boss_ voice once again.

 

“S’about time,” he complained.

 

“I need you to listen and I need you to think before you react.” Jack stood at attention in front of the long table; his chilling gaze sent a clear warning shot over Owen’s metaphorical bow.

 

Owen frowned, obviously confused but he took a deep breath and settled himself. He made an effort to look at Jack with an open face. He moved to sit across the table from Jack, where a place had been set up for him.

 

Tosh and I took our positions at either end of the table, our chairs pushed out for easy access.

 

His clever and observant eyes surveyed the scene. “What’s going on?” he asked suspiciously.

 

“It’s Suzie,” declared Jack.

 

“What about her?” he asked still confused.

 

Jack slid the file containing photos, transcripts and other pieces of evidence across the table towards Owen. He stopped its slide with his hand and quickly opened it up. He gaped at the contents, his eyes jumping from one photo to the next, still not sure what to make of it all. Then he stopped and stared at the transcript of her conversation with Max and comprehension dawned in his eyes. Finally, Owen looked up at Jack and he looked afraid.

 

He stood up abruptly and Tosh and I responded by training our weapons on him. He stopped moving and held his hands up in alarm.

 

“Woh! Take it easy guys.” There was a slight quaver to his voice.

 

“Sit down please,” asked Jack very quietly.

 

He nodded and sat down slowly. “You don’t need to point those at me. I’m not going to do anything,” he assured them.

 

But Jack wasn’t convinced. So he asked bluntly, “Are you having an affair with her?”

 

Owen reacted with surprise to the question but after a moment he sighed and confessed, “We’ve had sex a few times, that’s all. That’s no reason to shoot me. Is it?”

 

“I’m concerned about your loyalties,” Jack explained.

 

“What?” Owen scowled. “If you say she’s guilty-“

 

“-She is.” Jack cut him off mid-sentence.

 

“Alright, then I believe you.” His hands were still held up in submission.

 

Jack made a quick assessment and tested the waters. “I need her sedated. She’s compromised our security system. She’s programmed a verbal shut down command and we haven’t been able to disable it yet.”

 

“What the fuck? Why would she do that?” Owen was outraged and so completely confused.

 

“She’s done a lot more than that,” Jack began. “And I have no idea why.” He threw up his hands in frustration. “She’s dangerous, to us, to others and herself.”

 

Owen had made his own assessment. Jack was the boss and the evidence was damming. “What are you going to do with her? Are you going to kill her?” he asked in a very business-like tone. It was amazing how he could simply detach himself from the reality of a situation sometimes; it’s a useful skill in times of crisis and not just in the medical profession.

 

Jack nodded as he recognized the subtle shift in Owen’s demeanor. “No. She’s to be imprisoned. She’s committed treason, she’s planning murder and she’s been brainwashing some guy to go on a serial killing rampage in the event of her death. She’s going away for the rest of her life. But we still have to clean up after her.” Jack pulled on his protective mantle. His mind shifted and assumed a familiar stance, that of a Torchwood operative on a mission.

 

Owen sat there, shocked with disbelief. “What the fuck?” He said it more to himself than anything.

 

Everyone took a breath and the tension in the room ratcheted down one notch. “Did you get the van and the bed?” Jack asked.

 

Owen nodded. “Ya, it’s in the lot next to the SUV.”

 

He narrowed his eyes and asked the million-dollar-question. “Owen, are you able to do your job?

 

Owen nodded again. “Of course,” he insisted. “And you don’t need to keep me under guard. I had sex with her. I made a mistake, an error in judgement. I’m not going to try and free her.”

 

Jack looked at Tosh and then at me and simply nodded for us to put our guns away.

 

“Okay. I need an IV in her and then she needs to be restrained securely to the bed. We’ll be taking the van. I want everyone ready to go in fifteen.”

 

Once Jack had left the room Owen looked at us and asked, “Where is she?”

 

“In the cells,” explained Tosh.

 

“We’ll need to carry her back up here so I can set up the IV properly.”

 

“Right, I’ll help you carry her. Tosh do you mind coming along?” I wanted backup just in case he changed his mind. Owen could be tricky.

 

“Of course.” She agreed distractedly. Her eyes were following Jack as he made his way up to his office.

 

I was still wary of Owen’s loyalty so I let him go first. When he approached the cell he swore loudly. “Fuck me. She trussed up like a pig,”

 

“We didn’t know how long the sedative would last and she has to be gagged.” Tosh explained a little defensively.

 

I opened the door and Owen went in first. “It should last about four hours. When was she injected?”

 

“About two hours ago,” I told him.

 

“Let’s get her up to the medical bay.”

 

Between the two us we managed to carry her up the steep concrete steps. We placed her on the wheelie bed and bound her wrists and ankles to the steel side rails with wide Velcro straps.

 

Owen dutifully set up the IV drip that would keep her unconscious for the duration of the drive. “Where are we taking her?” he finally asked.

 

“I’m not sure.” I admitted. “He said he had to make arrangements. It looks like he’s on the phone again,” I added.

 

Tosh, Owen and I watched from across the silent hub as Jack carefully placed the phone he’d been talking on back on the cradle. He looked up just then and locked eyes with Tosh. He looked so sad, so… sorry.

 

Tosh gasped. “Oh my God… _no_.”

 

Owen was on alert and reacted quickly. He spun around until he stood in front of her, his face full of concern. “What? What Tosh? What is it?” he demanded; the urgency in his voice was unmistakable.

 

She gulped and her eyes sought out Suzie’s motionless form. When she spoke her voice was quiet and tinged with fear. “He’s giving her to UNIT.”

 

Owen was shocked; he swore loudly. “No. No fucking way.”

 

“There’s nowhere else,” I murmured quietly.

 

 

TW **X** DW

 

 

 **WE FOLLOWED AS** Jack rolled an unconscious Suzie strapped to a hospital bed towards the main entrance. Once Tosh had realized where we were headed she’d begun to tremble. Her eyes were wide with fear and she moved as if she were in a trance. Jack had said she could stay behind but she’d refused, saying she had to see this through.

 

By _‘this’_ she meant _‘see Suzie thrown into a tiny cement prison’_ where she would waste away and ultimately die – probably insane – more insane than she already was.

 

Owen was saddened, pale and sweaty. He said very little.

 

I followed. I moved. I nodded when appropriate. I pushed. I helped. I opened the door. I signed the form. I did not speak. I could not. For with all the thoughts that raged and battled in my clattering mind I could not find my voice. All my energies were dedicated to thought and basic movement. I had nothing left.

 

She had committed crimes certainly, _treason even_. But she hadn’t killed – yet. She was being locked away in a hell hole forever. Should I have waited until her first kill? Would that have made it better? Was one life enough to make this horrific punishment justifiable?

 

I couldn’t see through the tangled mess in my mind. I had felt so justified in accusing her of treason, of betraying Torchwood secrets, of abusing her powers, of drugging – no injuring an innocent man so badly he would never recover, brainwashing him, creating a killer. These were horrible crimes, _yes_ but she hadn’t actually murdered anyone – _yet_.

 

They say you don’t quit Torchwood. You either get a nice bullet to the head or a colossal dose of Retcon; dead or an imaginary life. Those are your only two options.

 

She was lucky right? She wasn’t being summarily executed. That would have been expected. Retcon would have been a gift.

 

But she could never be trusted. The resources needed to ensure she never remembered would far exceed the benefits of keeping her alive.

 

Locking her up was the only other option.

 

We couldn’t keep her at the hub. We hadn’t found her program yet. She was too much of a threat. She couldn’t be trusted. A unit prison cell was the only other alternative.

 

Owen had removed the IV drip and had given her a shot of something that would gradually wake her up. Then they took her. They took her clothes. They dressed her in orange overalls.

 

She’d been placed in the centre of the cell on the hard, cold, unforgiving cement floor. It was small, dark and dank. I couldn’t imagine living in such a small, cold box for the rest of my life.

 

We’d been given leave to interrogate her at our discretion so we sat outside her new cell and we waited. Tosh shook uncontrollably. Jack wrapped an arm protectively around her slight body and was murmuring soothing words to calm her. It wasn’t working.

 

Owen paced and muttered angrily to himself. He threw dark angry glances at each of us and then at Suzie. It was like he couldn’t decide who he was more angry with.

 

I couldn’t decide what to do. I sat mostly, right next to Tosh on her other side on the long steel bench anchored to the floor with huge rusted bolts.

 

We could see Suzie’s unmoving body through a narrow slit in the door. The slit was a feeding slot, a horizontal slash in the otherwise impenetrable door. And that narrow slash would be able only source of light she’d see for a long time.

 

Tosh whispered, “Sometimes they let you walk in another room, if you’re very good. There’s a window and the light seems so bright when you haven’t seen it for weeks…” she drifted off, her voice caught in her throat.

 

Jack gripped her more tightly. He was suffering too. I could tell by the tightly clenched muscles in his face, by the flatness of his eyes. They spoke of loss and regret and guilt. He’d lost his friend, his ex-lover and his trusted second in command in one fell swoop. _He should have known_. He kept hearing the accusation repeat over and over again in his head. No one had said it aloud yet but he thought it was only a matter of time. He couldn’t disagree.

 

He was trying to steel himself, to remain _cold - heartless - relentless_ but I could see his heart was breaking into a million tiny jagged pieces.

 

 _The guilt was unbearable._ A bullet might have been kinder than this. This was horrible and she wasn’t even awake yet. Was he feeling guilty because he wasn’t strong enough to pull the trigger? She would suffer here and we all knew it. The guilt would eat away at us all but especially at Jack. It would eat away at him for all eternity or at least until he found a way to forget. It would linger though until something worse came along to take its place. After all, the brain has a finite amount of storage, you can’t hold on to every little horrible thing you’ve ever done. Eventually, everything fades. He could only hope this one faded faster than most.

 

He may have blamed himself but I knew that I was entirely responsible. If I hadn’t started this we might have been sharing a pint and a pizza at some pub or in the bowels of the hub after a long day’s work. We’d never share a drink again. Not with Suzie. Not ever again.

 

She began to stir. She moaned and tried to sit up too quickly but found herself back on the floor swearing loudly in pain for her troubles. “Where the fuck am I?” she demanded. “Jack!” she shouted. She crawled to the door on hands and knees and then began hammering with her fists and demanding answers. “Jack, you bastard! What have you done?!”

 

Jack took a deep breath to brace himself and stood. As he moved towards the door he transformed himself by the sheer force of his own will into the strong, confident Captain we’d come to depend on. “We know about Pilgrim Suzie,” he declared. “We know all about Max – what you’ve done to him. It’s over.”

 

“What the fuck are you talking about?” she screamed in frustration kicking and banging against the unyielding metal door. “Let me out!” she cried.

 

“You aren’t going anywhere. This is your new home. So get used to it. We know about the shut-down program and all about your sick brain-washing scheme. But what I don’t get is what you were trying to achieve?”

 

She sneered, “Immortality Jack. Immortality.” She shook her head, seemingly in disgust of his ignorance. Then, her gaze narrowed as she looked at each one of us in turn, searching for something in our faces. Resolve? Pity? I couldn’t tell you for sure. Finally, she shifted her eyes back to Jack’s stone cold face. We watched, Owen, Tosh and me, in silence, for a long awkward moment while she knelt on the cold cement floor. They stayed like that with their eyes still locked for what felt like an eternity to me. Then all of a sudden, she closed her eyelids and blinked for an unnaturally long time and when she finally opened her eyes her entire demeanor had changed. We found ourselves staring at a completely different person through that little slash in the door. She shocked us all when she started giggling hysterically. I guess this must have been the final straw; she’d finally come unhinged.

 

“Suzie, what the hell are you talking about?” Jack bellowed and the sound of his voice bounced down the long dark hallway. Jack was frustrated and confused and more than a little unnerved by her maniacal laughter.

 

“The glove,” I whispered. “She’s figured it out.” I explained. I stood up and moved closer to him.

 

Her eyes flashed and she scrambled closer to the door. “ ** _I did_**.” She declared it proudly. “And it’s incredible. I can bring the dead back to life. It’s a **_miracle_**.” She announced in a breathless devotional tone usually reserved for the fervent religious fanatic or the slightly insane.

 

“It’s no miracle,” he scoffed.

 

“ ** _It is_** ,” she insisted. “It’s a gift from god. I’m **_chosen_** to raise the dead. I just have to practice. I can bring them back Jack.” Her eyes were glazed. “I can bring them all back. Let me out…” she slammed up against the door. “… I have so much work to do!”

 

“You’re insane.” He spoke the words so quietly.

 

“ ** _I’m blessed_**!” she shouted.

 

“She’s completely mad,” whispered Tosh.

 

“I can’t believe I didn’t see this coming,” whispered Owen.

 

“You’re not the only one. I certainly didn’t see this side of her. I had no idea.” Tosh was standing next to Owen now. They were commiserating their utter ignorance.

 

Jack looked at them both, obviously having heard their whispers and said, “She’s a good liar. _A master_.” And I saw the anger bubble up again and his eyes were hazed by the hot surge of it.

 

“Thank goodness we caught this when we did. It could’ve been so much worse.” I spoke in low tones as well.

 

“Oh you pissants? You have no idea what I’m capable of! You’ll never come close. **_I’m chosen_**!” She was shouting now, infuriated by our murmurings.

 

Jack turned to her and demanded, “Tell me about the shutdown programs.” He spoke with the power of authority.

 

She smiled malevolently. “ ** _Never_** ,” she snarled.

 

Clearly, she couldn’t be reasoned with or even reached. His fists were clenched and his jaw clamped shut, frustration and irritation had won out over patience so he turned. “We’re done here. Say goodbye if you want to. This is your last chance.” Then he strode towards the elevator.

 

Eyes wide and white with terror, Tosh ran after him. She wasn’t staying behind without him. He was the only thing standing between her and a cell just like Suzie’s. She never gave Suzie a second look.

 

“Good bye Suzie.” I said. “I’m sorry.”

 

“For what?” Her voice was dripping with distain.

 

“For everything.” I said simply. But then I finished the apology in my head, _I’m sorry for everything you’ve got coming_. And then I walked away and caught up with Jack and Tosh at the elevator doors.

 

That left Owen standing alone in front of her door; he stood defeated, raw and resigned. He shook his head side to side dismally. “I wish I could’ve helped you.”

 

“You can’t. You don’t understand.” She turned away from him and began pacing like the caged animal she was.

 

“I know. I see that now. I cared for you. And I’m sorry. Goodbye Suzie.” His voice broke off at the end and he turned quickly so she couldn’t see his face.

 

“No! Owen!” She’d slammed up against the door again, her face pushed up against the feeding slot. “ ** _Don’t leave me_**!” She screamed. “I have work to do!” She started banging her hands and fists against the immovable steel door. “I’m chosen! I am the hand of God!”

 

She’d screamed in frustration. She’d screamed in anger. Her screams had followed him down the hall. And even after they’d left the building they’d lingered and echoed in the amphitheater of his mind. Owen would always be haunted by Suzie’s final pleas.

 

As soon as they got back to the hub Jack had rounded them up and led them over to the nasty sofa. They plopped down in exhaustion and waited for the pep talk that was sure to come.

 

“We’ve lost a team member today,” he began. “A friend. She’s gone. As good as dead.” He looked at their shocked faces when he said that. It needed to be said. That’s what he did. He said and did the things that no one else could or would. That’s what he did.

 

“And I’m sad,” he admitted. “I’ll miss her.” He closed his eyes and emotions distorted his features. His lips curved upwards slightly into a smile and then abruptly reversed into a frown no doubt remembering a private moment with Suzie. Better times. But the smile was fleeting. She was gone.

 

“We don’t have time to stop and feel sad right now.” He pressed on. “We have to take care of each other. We have to protect ourselves and people like Max from this threat and we have to clean up Suzie’s mess. So let’s get to work.” He smiled grimly, stood up, patted Tosh on the shoulder and walked purposefully off towards his office. They had a lot of work to do.

 

 

**_Continued in… 8 – Finding Perspective_ **

 

_  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, I just wanted to say thank you to those of you who left a comment and kudos. It means a lot.  
> Thanks!  
> Blue


	8. Finding Perspective

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ianto’s New Timeline: December 1 - 3, 2005
> 
> The team tries to clean up Suzie’s mess and a little sappiness is had.

**IN AN ATTEMPT** to make myself feel better I had deluded myself into thinking that the worst was behind us. That however was not the case. Suzie had left a surprisingly enormous mess behind.

 

The next day I woke to a dreary damp world. It suited my mood perfectly. Today, we’d pack up all of Suzie’s things and once we were done it would be like she’d never existed. She’d disappear completely from the grid. What a terrifying thought.

 

Owen’s day wouldn’t be any better. He’d need to shadow Max and after the Pilgrim meeting he’d sedate him and bring him back to the hub. He’d be getting the largest possible dose of Retcon and his future looked anything but bright. Unfortunately for Max, he didn’t have any family. He’d be committed for evaluation due to a made-up criminal insanity charge. It would be pushed through channels and no one would be the wiser. Max had made a fatal error befriending Suzie and would be paying for that kindness with his own incarceration. How many people had to pay for her delusions of grandeur? It wasn’t fair. But life is not fair. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. He couldn’t be allowed to roam freely if there were any chance that his inner serial killer might come out and play.

 

Tosh had her own hell to contend with. She’d refused to go home. She hadn’t stopped working since we got back from UNIT. She wouldn’t eat, drink or sleep. She was offended and she was supremely pissed off that she’d been one-upped by _anyone_ on her own turf. She’d searched through raw code and streams of data for twenty hours straight before she had finally exploded in a fit of dizzying fury.

 

We three, being intelligent men, had acted in the interests of self-preservation and had backed the hell off. We let her shout and rail at her uncooperative machine until some of her venom had been expelled. Once her beast had been thoroughly sated and an innocent keyboard had been sacrificed and paid with its life Jack had tentatively approached with a white flag of peace.

 

He’d constructed one with a pencil, a white tissue and a bit of tape. He’d approached her like a submissive wolf would an angry alpha female, tail wagging but not too high, head down, eyes averted, ears slightly down and back, with his body angled somewhat off-side. He dangled his pathetic art’s ‘n crafts creation limply in his right hand and held a packet of her favorite chocolate chip cookies in the other.

 

“Permission to approach?” he asked lightly.

 

“Granted,” she half snarled. She’d seen his dramatic approach and had actually smiled for a moment. “That bad?” she asked.

 

“Oh, ya,” he responded. He put the packet on her desk, pulled out her chair and spun her around. He leaned down in front of her and told her, “Eat these cookies, have a coffee and then go home. I don’t want to hear it.” He stopped her retort with a halting-hand before she’d even started.

 

I chose that moment to deliver the coffee and thankfully she smiled at me. “Thank you,” she mumbled. Her mouth was already full of cookies. She had to be famished and exhausted.

 

“I’ll drive you home when you’re ready. No arguments,” he informed her.

 

“Yes, boss.” Her shoulders sunk and she finally gave in.

 

Suzie’s mess was nowhere near being cleaned up. It would take time and a whole lot of effort. Tomorrow, Tosh would resume her search for the illusive shut-down program, I would transport all of Suzie’s things to storage and remove any official trace of her in the _real world_ and Owen would have Max committed. Good times.

 

Jack drove Tosh home and all but tucked her into bed. He forbade her from coming in before ten the next day.

 

While they were gone, I took a walk along the Plas and watched the sun dip into the sea. It blossomed into a fiery orange ball just before it sank out of sight. I sighed and felt the weight of the last few weeks come crashing down on me.

 

I needed to talk to someone, someone who’d understand so I took out my phone and pressed speed dial #42. I held my breath in anticipation. He answered after several rings sounding out of breath. “Hello, Doctor. It’s Ianto. Is this a bad time?” I asked.

 

“Ianto? Is everything alright?” he asked. He was panting loudly but he sounded chipper enough.

 

“Yes, yes everything’s fine. I… I just needed to talk to you.” I felt foolish all of a sudden. I’d called the one man who was always busy, too busy for the likes of me.

 

“Great! I love to talk!” he declared exuberantly. “Tell me what’s happened,” he insisted.

 

“Well… there’s this woman… Suzie… my coworker… my ex-coworker… and she’s really crazy and violent and dangerous. She’s done some bad things and she was going to do some really terrible things… so I… _uhm_ … nudged another coworker… Tosh… to investigate her. I let her collect the evidence and then we presented it to Jack and then we locked her up in prison.”

 

“Wow. You’ve been busy. So why do you sound so unhappy? You caught the bad lady right?”

 

“Yes, we did.”

 

“And she was bad… really bad right?” He was using his understanding teacher voice.

 

“Yes. She… hurt a man… brainwashed him to kill people and she was using this alien glove thing to bring back the dead. She was planning on killing some people just so she could bring them back to life too.” I told him about Suzie’s crimes as quickly and as simply as I could.

 

“Uhh hmmm.” He considered my words carefully but kept quiet. His silence was nerve-wracking.

 

“The thing is… she hadn’t killed them yet. She would have… she did before… you know **_before_** before?” Suddenly I felt frantic. I was afraid that I’d made a mistake. I was terrified of what he might think of me.

 

“Oh, I **_seeeee_** ,” he said, drawing out the word as he typically did. “In the other timeline. She was a murderer and this time you stopped her from killing.” Clever Doctor. He’d probably gleaned the gist of my conundrum before I’d begun to explain.

 

“Yes.” I breathed out the word.

 

“But you feel bad because you put her in prison for a crime she hasn’t committed yet?” He summed it up quite succinctly.

 

“Essentially. Ya. Oh… Doctor… have I done wrong?” I moaned. “You should see the place she’s been locked up in. It’s horrible. I **_feel_** horrible.” I stood at the railing looking out at the tumbling sea, my emotions in turmoil.

 

“Now, now,” he soothed. “Calm down. Did she commit a crime?” He spoke as he would to a child, kind and patient.

 

“Yes.” I said simply.

 

“Did she confess?” he pressed.

 

“Yes, actually she did.”

 

“And you’re sure she was planning murder?”

 

“I am.” Suddenly, I felt certain again. “She’s mad… totally crazy.”

 

“I think… if you **_didn’t_** feel bad about locking up your ex-coworker **_then_** you should be worried. If you feel **_nothing_** then we have a problem. But that’s not the case here is it?” His lilting singsong voice wrapped around my soul like a healing balm.

 

“No, Sir.” I sniffed.

 

“Well, then I’ve no doubt that you did the right thing,” he said confidently.

 

“So the universe isn’t going to implode?” I tried for levity.

 

“Oh dear I hope not. Let me check….” I heard the clank of a phone being set down and there was a short pause before he came back to the phone. “No ** _p_** e!” he announced popping that **_p_** and then continued, “Everything looks great!” he concluded.

 

I laughed – _finally_ – I hadn’t smiled in days. “Thanks for checking. So do you have a special gadget that tells you if the universe is going to implode or explode today?” I asked teasingly.

 

“Yes, of course I do,” he claimed and then he chuckled too.

 

“Thank you, Doctor. I really appreciate you taking the time to talk to me. I know how busy you are.” I felt better already.

 

“Nonsense! You can call me anytime you like. I’m happy you called. Take care, Ianto.”

 

“You too. Take care Doctor.” I pressed end and smiled at my phone before I slipped it into my pocket.

 

“So, how is he?” asked Jack from right behind me.

 

I spun around and slapped my hand to my chest trying to keep my heart from leaping out onto the Plas. “You scared the shit out of me!” I declared. I leaned over and placed my hands on my knees and continued panting.

 

He winced. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you. I saw you were talking on the phone so I just waited until you were done. I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop… I just heard you say Doctor and it sounded like **_our_** Doctor not just **_a_** doctor,” he explained.

 

I stood up having gotten control over my organs once more. “Yes, it was him. He’s fine – he’s great actually.”

 

He smiled. “I forgot about him fixing your phone. I didn’t realize you could still call him,” he mused.

 

“It’s only been a couple of months for me,” I reminded him.

 

“Oh, ya.” He shook his head. It had been so much longer for Jack. After the fiasco on Satellite-5 he’d been sent back in time to what must have felt like the Middle Ages compared to the future that he was from.

 

“Did you… want to call him back?” I offered him the phone.

 

He smiled widely. “No, but thank you. I really appreciate that.” He held out his hand and beckoned me forward. “Come on…”

 

I stepped forward and took his hand tentatively.

 

“Let’s get something to eat,” he suggested. “I’m buying.”

 

“That sounds great. I’m famished,” I admitted.

 

The chip shop was a favorite of ours but since we rarely ate in it made for a nice change. We ate heartily while we chatted about mundane things. But then Jack got quiet. He obviously had something on his mind.

 

“So… mind if I ask what you talked to the Doctor about?” he asked uncomfortably.

 

I was a little surprised. I didn’t think he would actually ask. I shrugged. “I wanted to talk to him about Suzie,” I answered honestly.

 

He titled his head inquiringly. “What about Suzie?” He obviously had no idea how torn I was feeling.

 

I considered how I might explain for a moment. “I was concerned that I did the wrong thing.”

 

“How so?” He paused mid chip insertion and looked at me with some confusion.

 

I sighed, _dog with a bone_ , I thought. “She’s in a hell hole – literally – a place we put murderers ya? Only she hasn’t actually murdered anyone yet. There’s only my word and her confession _after the fact_.  I was worried that I was condemning her too harshly.” The words rambled out.

 

“She got what she deserved.” Jack had cold hard steel in his voice. It was brittle and final. He was trying to cut the cord that had tethered them. He wanted to mourn her less and hate her more. “What did he say?” he asked after a moment.

 

I wiggled my lips and wobbled my head. “Basically he said I **_should_** feel terrible. If I didn’t feel terrible then I should worry.”

 

He snorted and nearly choked on a chip. “Sounds like him.”

 

I nodded. _Ya, it was definitely Doctor Wisdom_ , I mused. I’d also been worrying about the glove. I paused for a moment, deciding and then I changed the subject. “Jack, I think you should destroy the glove. It’s not… it will only cause trouble and pain.”

 

His shock was apparent and his eyes narrowed. “You mean the glove she was working on?”

 

I nodded.

 

“Destroy it? How, exactly?”

 

I swallowed nervously. “Shoot it, smash it, burn it, whatever it takes. Look, it was dumped by whoever owned it before probably because it’s a curse not a blessing. It corrupts people. You saw Suzie. She may have been a bit off-her-rocker to start with but that thing drove her _batshit crazy_.” I pleaded ardently for its destruction and I would continue to do so until it was a pile of dust.

 

He shrugged. “If you feel that strongly about it… then okay we’ll destroy it.” He needed surprisingly little convincing.

 

I nodded and sighed in relief. “Thank you, Jack.”

 

He pursed his lips and then asked, “Why do you want it destroyed so badly? Do you think someone other than Suzie will use it?” On the surface, it sounded like he was asking my opinion but we both knew what he was really asking me. _Who is going to use it next? And what are they going to do with it?_

 

“Yes,” I nodded gravely, “I do. It’s too tempting. And it probably has some unexpected side effects if it’s used… _incorrectly_. Most curses do.” I matched his unblinking stare.

 

He drew a sharp breath and frowned in consternation as if he were trying to decode a secret message or solve a really tricky Sudoku puzzle. “Fine. We’ll get rid of it tomorrow.”

 

I nodded and stole the last chip. He pouted and took a deep pull on my pint to punish me which only made me grin.

 

We walked back to the hub together across the deserted Plas. He stopped suddenly and craned his neck to look up at the night’s sky. The moon was a mere sliver, “An Artemis moon,” he murmured. “What a beautiful sky.” He sighed. “Do you ever look up Ianto?” he asked me wistfully.

 

“Of course. I’ve always been drawn to the stars. Some nights I lie on my balcony and just stare up at the sky. It really clears my head.” My eyes angled up and my face relaxed.

 

He smiled and stepped closer to me. “I like that about you. You’re a romantic.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me along. “Come on… I want to show you something.”

 

He took me up to the top of the bronzed domed roof of the Millennium Centre. He was still dragging me behind him; his grip was tight and never wavering, making me feel like a little kid. Once we reached the dull, flat centre he let go of my hand. He sat down and arranged his coattails so that they lay straight in front of him. He reached out a hand and called to me, “Here… sit in front of me. I want to show you something.”

 

I stood there a moment considering the wisdom of such an arrangement. I sighed and acquiesced. “Okay but don’t make me regret this,” I warned.

 

“You won’t I promise,” he said solemnly while still holding out his hand to me.

 

I sat in front of him on top of his thick woolen coat, my back to his chest. I tried to keep a respectable distance between our bodies but he wrapped both of his arms around my chest and pulled me towards him. “Jack,” I whined pathetically.

 

“Just lean back and stop arguing. Lean against me and look up. Relax, it’s not like I’m trying to undress you; I’m just trying to show you our beautiful sky,” he insisted.

 

I was tense and trying not to melt into his embrace. The view from up there was unmistakably better than the view from down on the Plas. “It’s beautiful,” I whispered.

 

“This is one of my favorite places. I don’t usually bring anyone up here with me.” His voice was soft and relaxed. He was different up here, unguarded. “It’s usually my sanctuary, my escape from… life down there. I wanted to share this with you.” He hugged me more tightly and I finally sank into him.

 

“Thank you, Jack.” I was touched by his gesture. I felt warm and safe in his arms. He wrapped his coat around me more tightly. I may have been shivering but the cold night air wasn’t uncomfortable at all. My body was humming. I sighed and closed my eyes.

 

He rested his chin on my head and cuddled around me. I felt his fingers brush across the skin at my throat and I nearly purred. There weren’t any thoughts clogging up my mind and that was a rare thing for me. My mind was clear of confusion and guilt. I just was. “Jack… “

 

“Mmmm?”

 

“This is really nice.” I spoke softly not wanting to break the spell.

 

“It is,” he agreed. “Thank you for joining me.”

 

“You didn’t really give me much of a choice,” I joked lightly.

 

“You always have a choice, Ianto,” he countered in a more serious tone.

 

I opened my eyes and looked up at him. He was looking down at me not up at the sky.

 

“You’re right,” I agreed. “Being with you right now is a conscious choice,” I admitted.

 

He blinked once, maybe twice then seemed to come to a decision. “Are you still seeing Colin?” he ventured.

 

I nodded.

 

“Are you two getting more serious?” he asked.

 

I considered my answer before I spoke. I looked up at the slivered moon and I confessed, “No – actually, we seem to be drifting a bit if anything.”

 

He absorbed my answer silently for a moment then asked, “Does that make you sad?”

 

“A little, yes. I care about him, I do. But I know we won’t be together forever. He’s not my… soul mate. He’s a good man, though and I don’t want to hurt him.”

 

“You believe in soul mates?” He was surprised by my admission.

 

“Hmm mmm. I think there’s someone you’re supposed to be with. I know it sounds cheesy but I think that’s sort of the point to all this.” I gestured to the wide expanse before me.

 

“You mean life?”

 

“Ya. I think we’re supposed to learn how to be better than we are. We’re supposed to learn how to love with our whole being, to have compassion for others and if you’re lucky you find that one person who’s just… perfect… the perfect match for your heart or soul or whatever you want to call it.”

 

“You _are_ a romantic.” He hugged me even tighter and kissed my hair.

 

“What’s wrong with that?” I asked a little defensively.

 

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing,” he said quickly. “It’s perfect.” Then he kissed my temple. “Don’t ever change,” he said at last.

 

I struggled against fidgeting, cleared my throat and took a leap. “Why do you think we’re here?” I asked.

 

“Oh, I don’t know,” he admitted quickly. “I think I used to have an idea. But then I realized I was wrong.” He chuckled humbly. “It’s funny how things get less clear the longer I’m alive. It used to be so simple: _eat – drink – fuck – laugh – love – enjoy all that life has to offer_. Simple right? But now… I think I have a different purpose than when I was… mortal.”

 

“Do you think you were changed for a reason?” I asked.

 

“I have no idea. I wish I knew. I was so sure the Doctor would know. I was so disappointed when he didn’t. **_That_** had been my purpose for **_soooo_** long. Waiting.” He sighed loudly. “I’ve been waiting for so long. Now… I have no idea.” He sounded so lost, so confused that I turned around to give him a proper hug.

 

“I think he’ll have an answer for you before long Jack.” I tried to reassure him. “You just have to wait a little longer. It won’t be too long now.” I whispered the words into his chest but I knew he heard me because his arms tightened and his body tensed.

 

“If you knew… you’d tell me wouldn’t you Ianto?” He leaned back and angled my head upwards with a hand under my chin so that he could look me in the eye.

 

I met his questioning gaze. “I would. I don’t know. You… I never found out what happened or why. I’m sorry. I wish I could tell you what you want to know.” His disappointment was evident but he also seemed relieved – perhaps that I hadn’t been holding back the one thing that he so desperately needed to hear.

 

“But you know something. I can see it.” He was insistent. “Are you saying he’s going to find out what happened to me?”

 

I nodded. “I’m pretty sure.” I paused. I weighed the consequences of telling him when he’d gone off with the Doctor that first time. Things might be different this time around. He’d already run into the Doctor. He wouldn’t have to run after the TARDIS this time, would he?

 

“What is it?” His eyes pleaded in tandem with his words. “Please? Tell me… anything you can?” He gently cupped my cheek with his hand.

 

I let out a breath that I’d been holding in for years. “I think it’ll be about two years or so. Maybe…” I shrugged. “Around June… 2007.” I postulated tentatively. “But… things could change. Hell, me telling you this could have changed things already. Or maybe when I… when you saw the Doctor on the Plas everything changed and whatever I think I know is now useless. I don’t know. So please don’t get your hopes up too high.” I was concerned that he’d just be disappointed again.

 

“One of these days I hope you’ll tell me about your timeline problems.” I heard the grin in his voice. Apparently, my little rant had lightened his mood.

 

“I hope so, too.” _But I doubt it_ , I thought.

 

“Thank you for telling me what you think you know – just the same. I can wait a few more years. I’ve waited a Century. What’s a few more years?” He was smiling again and relaxed. We lay there quietly enjoying the grandness of the Universe and the simplicity of the horizon in each other’s arms for an hour or more until the cold chased us in doors. It had been one of those days, memorable, enlightening and eye opening. We’d each been blessed with a valuable gift this starry night, the gift of perspective.

 

 

**_Continued in… 9 – Special Projects_ **

 

 

 

 

_  
_


	9. Special Projects

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ianto’s New Timeline: December 8, 2005 (3rd month)
> 
> Everyone seems to have a special project.
> 
> A/N: Semisonic own’s the song “Closing Time” – I just borrowed a line for a moment.

**_“Meddling isn’t a hobby, it’s a way of life.”_ **

**_\--Inspector Donaldson_ **

****

**IT WASN’T A NEW THING.** The Inspector has been taking care of me for a very long time. Just ask anyone. I don’t remember the first time he claimed that he’d taken me under his wing but he made sure that everyone knew it was true. He certainly believed that it was up to him to look out for me whether I wanted him to or not.  And I am certain, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he’s come to love me like a son. Despite all that or maybe because of it, he had made it very clear that he reserves the right to _thwap_ me upside the head or kick my arse back to last Sunday whenever I deserve it.

 

Ever since that _‘deep thought escapade’_ the Inspector had suspected me of straying. He’d nearly poisoned us both (with alcohol) attempting to pull the truth from me. At the time he’d used the words _‘sowed some oats’_ and I had thought that hysterically funny - not the part about the _straying_ just the phrase. The next day, after the blinding pain had subsided, he’d thought only of Colin, _the fact that I had strayed from Colin._

 

He knew I wasn’t typically _the kind_ that strayed in fact last month he would have wagered his annual income on that fact. But that was before I’d disappeared on my little _deep thought debacle_. He’d scoffed at that one. “ _Deep thoughts my arse,”_ he’d said at the time. Of course, the pieces hadn’t come together until the Torchwood discussion. Even way back during the Blowfish thing I’d been a little too excited about Torchwood and their damn Captain. _It was all that Harkness’s fault_. The Inspector knew it in his bones.

 

He told me the moment he’d said my name that ‘ _slimy git’_ had started to slather like some starving beast. He’d practically begged him for my phone number for fuck’s sake! The Inspector had grumbled for an entire week, “that Harkness, he’s a _bad influence_ , that’s what he is.”

 

When the posting came down through the wire he’d thought only of the opportunity. It would be great for Colin’s career. The fact that it was in a distant city… well… that was absolutely unavoidable.

 

He hadn’t _really_ pulled any strings per se. Colin was an able officer. He was well-liked and had built himself a solid reputation as an investigator. He deserved a leg-up and the Inspector had only been too glad to help. It would save Colin (and me) heartbreak later. The Inspector had thought, _if it was a job that split us up and not another person well then…. that wouldn’t be so bad would it?_

 

Colin peeked his head through the door and found the Inspector drowning in paperwork. “Inspector? You wanted to see me?”

 

“Yes, Colin come on in. Sit down. I have some great news.” The Inspector pushed the piles of crapperwork to the side and shuffled through the newest, slightly smaller mountain in search of a fax.

 

“Really?” He was shocked. He hadn’t expected a response,  except perhaps a Please-Fuck-Off form letter.

 

“Yes. You got it!” he exclaimed, “I just heard. They’ll call you later today but the official offer just came through the fax and you know my assistant is a snoopy bastard.” He rambled on excitedly, thoroughly pleased with himself and his skillful maneuvering of the red tape jungle that was his life.

 

“I can’t believe I got it.” Colin sat down abruptly, looking shocked. He slumped down in the uncomfortable visitor’s chair and reeled at the implications.

 

“Well, you did.” He grinned encouragingly at the conflicted looking young man sitting across from him. He kept the warm smile on his face and pretended ignorance of the inevitable struggle the boy would have to face.

 

“When do I start?” He gulped loudly. _Oh God…_ _I’ll have to tell Ianto_ , he realized.

 

“Let me see…” the Inspector scanned the page for the start date. “Two weeks. Here take a look.” He passed the contract to Colin.

 

“Thanks,” he said quietly. “Hmm.”

 

“What’s wrong? I thought you’d be ecstatic.”

 

“Oh, no… this is great. I… I just haven’t told Ianto about this, that’s all.”

 

“Well you know Ianto. He’ll be excited for you. He cares about you,” he assured him.

 

He took a deep breath and attempted a small smile. “I know,” he said and their eyes met.

 

“Is… are you okay Colin?” asked the Inspector. “If you don’t want this it’s okay to decline.”

 

He nodded. “I know.” _Don’t be such a fool_ , he thought. “I want this.” _He needed this_. He’d decided that it was time for action, time to get what he wanted instead of always treading water in this painful holding pattern. “I’m just not looking forward to telling him.”

 

“I understand.” He did, he understood, more than Colin realized.

 

 

TW **X** DW

 

 

“ **YOU’VE BEEN SO DISTANT LATELY**.” Colin complained quietly. It was Saturday morning and we both had the day off _barring the end of the world_. It had been an eternity since I’d had a lie-in.

 

“I know.” I couldn’t lie about this. “I’m sorry.” I felt terrible and had no intention of hurting Colin but the truth was that lately I was always thinking about Jack.

 

“Work?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Is it work?” he asked again. “Or… something else?”

 

I exhaled long and loudly. “It’s a lot of things,” I told him.

 

He lay still and silent waiting for my explanation.

 

“I haven’t been fair to you.” I spoke my confession softly. “I know. I’m always so busy…  always at work.” The truth of this statement left a bitter taste in my mouth.

 

“It feels like you’re pushing me away,” he said simply.

 

I flinched. His gaze sought out mine. I held it a moment before I had to look away.

 

He sighed and then continued. “A few weeks ago the Inspector told me about a job competition. He convinced me to apply.” He paused and took a deep breath.

 

“Oh, ya? What kind of job?” I was wary of where this was going but I tried to sound upbeat.

 

“It would mean a promotion, more money, more responsibility.”

 

“That sounds great!” I exclaimed. I was genuinely excited for him.

 

He smiled thinly.

 

I shook my head in confusion. “Not great?” I asked.

 

“No… no. It is. It’s brilliant,” he insisted.

 

“Then what?”

 

“I got it.” He spoke with about as much enthusiasm as a man who’d just won a root canal.

 

“That’s brilliant!” I enthused. “You don’t sound very excited, though. What’s wrong with it?”

 

He sighed heavily. “It’s in Newcastle.”

 

“Oh.” I paused and searched his face. He looked guilty. He looked guilty for feeling happy. A slow smile crept onto my face. “You should take it.” I told him quickly.

 

“Why?” he asked, his face a mask of confusion and insecurity.

 

I frowned. “You deserve it,” I told him. I sighed and caressed his cheek. “You should get the hell out of Cardiff while you still can. You’re a good cop. You deserve this.”

 

“What about us?” he insisted.

 

I hugged him tightly. “I’ll miss you.” I spoke these words into his neck and then kissed the skin closest to my mouth.

 

“Me too.” His voice was strained and tight.

 

I pulled away to catch his eyes. “You know I love you, ya?”

 

His face softened. He nodded and replied, “I love you too.” He paused. “But it’s not enough is it?”

 

Suddenly my chest tightened and a jagged cold sensation spread into my stomach. He wasn’t just talking about the job anymore. “We need to…” I broke off. I couldn’t find the words. “I want what’s best for you. And staying here, settling for a lesser job… it’s not good enough for you Colin. You’re so brilliant. You can go so far. If you stay here Cardiff will eat you up and spit you out.” My passionate plea was short lived and by the time I’d finished talking all of my fire was gone.

 

“Like what it’s gonna do to you?” he countered stiffly.

 

“I won’t let it,” I said firmly.

 

“Just… be careful. I know your work is dangerous. Far more so than mine.”

 

“I’m always careful,” I began.

 

His snort conveyed just how careful he thought I was. “Now listen,” he insisted and looked at me sternly. “People talk… I know I’m not supposed to know about Torchwood but you know as well as I that the Inspector and I know perfectly well what you do. It’s dangerous. And you’ve been getting more and more obsessed with work and I’m afraid it’s sucking the life out of you.” He ran his fingers through my hair. “And that boss of yours is too damn demanding! You need a life – you need to see your friends. That’s how we stay sane ya? You told me that. Or did you forget your own wisdom mister smarty pants?”

 

I grunted. He’d surprised me with his counter-rant. How could I not love this man? He was wonderful, loving, caring, considerate, passionate – everything I could ever want. But he wasn’t _the_ _one_. And I had to let him go. For both our sakes.  “Maybe I needed to be reminded.” I had to admit - I did tend to get obsessed.

 

He took me in his arms and held me tightly.

 

“Thank you,” I whispered. “For everything. You always know what I need.”

 

He tensed. “We could try the long distance thing?” he asked tentatively.

 

I shook my head gently and smiled apologetically. I took his face between my warm hands. “We both know those things never work – especially with our jobs. We’ll only end up resenting each other.”

 

He rested his forehead against mine and his eyes slid closed.

 

“When?” I asked.

 

“Two weeks,” he rasped. “But I don’t know if I’m gonna take it.”

 

“Then let’s make the most of it, ya?”

 

He smiled and rolled me over onto my back, covering my naked body with his. It was a rare occasion that I didn’t go into work on the weekend. We spent the entire day in bed, making love and enjoying the time we had left together.

 

 

TW **X** DW

 

 

**_“Go on! It’s dead, it won’t mind.”_ **

**_\--Owen_ **

****

 

 **WE WERE IN THE BOARDROOM** shovelling Greek Pita-Wraps down our gullets. We’d had a messy call and had stumbled back to the hub dirty, foul smelling, exhausted and starving. Jack had managed to get half the wrap down his throat and looked like he was performing some sort of sexual act with his food. Owen was battered, somewhat bloody and making his usual mess. Tosh and I ate quietly side-by-side. We were both facing the same direction, had the same view. I turned to her and whispered, “They’re animals.” She shook her head in disgust and quietly agreed.

 

Since we were all together I decided it was a good time to get Owen started on the special project I had planned for him. “Jack, I was thinking about that medical cross-training we talked about. The rift looks pretty quiet for the next few days.” I looked to Tosh for agreement and she nodded. “If it cooperates do you think we could get started today or tomorrow?”

 

Jack turned to our resident medical professional and put the question to him. “What do you think Owen? You _up for it_?” Leave it to Jack to take every opportunity to make a sexual innuendo.

 

Owen threw him a challenging glare and replied, “I’m always _up for it_ Harkness.” Then he turned to me and added, “I think it’s a great idea. Any special requests?”

 

“Weevil bites,” said Tosh.

 

“Stiches and how to stop bleeding,” I added.

 

“Good one,” commented Jack. It was muffled because he still had a large chunk of Pita-Wrap in his mouth.

 

“I was thinking injections and IV’s,” said Owen.

 

We all nodded and thought of Suzie but no one said a thing.

 

After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, Tosh came up with another one. “We should also learn how to use the medical equipment. You know for basic scans and tests and such.”

 

“And what about gunshot wounds and removing a bullet?” I urged.

 

Owen had started a list on the paper napkin that came with our take-out. “We’ll get started this afternoon. I’ll go pull out some interesting corpses and we can use them for practice.” A devilish grin spread across Owen’s face. He rubbed his hands together vigorously and then he skipped out of the room like a little girl in spring. He was quite excited.

 

“Oh goodie, Owen’s excited about playing with some dead bodies,” moaned Tosh.

 

Under Owen’s watchful eye Tosh and I practiced stitching wounds on an alien cadaver. We usually had dinner together on Thursday night but this week I had to break our date. “Oh… _tsk_ … about tonight Tosh, I’ll have to cancel. I promised the Inspector that I’d stop by the club tonight. They’re having a going away party for Colin. Sorry it’s so last minute.”

 

She waved my apology away. “What do you mean? Where’s he going?” She looked at me closely.

 

“He got a promotion.” I cleared my throat. “He’s moving to Newcastle.” I tried to sound unaffected.

 

“Oh, that sucks. I’m so sorry Ianto. Are you alright?” Her voice was laden with sympathy and concern.

 

“Ya, I’ll be okay. I’m going to miss him though.” It didn’t work; she always knew how I was feeling.

 

She frowned. “Are you two going to try the long distance thing?” she pressed.

 

“No.” I said simply.

 

“Oh.” At a loss for words, she exchanged a quick look with Owen.

 

“Sorry to hear that mate,” Owen sympathized quietly. He paused for a breath or two then turned to Tosh. “Tosh those stiches are great, much better than your last go, you too Ianto. Those ones are nice and tight.” He had assumed the mantle of ‘instructor’ and ‘the professional doctor’ and had acted accordingly. He taught us patiently and encouraged us with precise corrective feedback. But he was switching back to ‘friendly coworker’ now. “It looks like you’ve mastered everything on the list for now so if you want to take off I can take care of the rest.”

 

“Thanks Owen, that’s… really great of you. I’ll return the favour whenever you like.” I didn’t need to be told twice. I was already snapping off my rubber gloves into the trash and ready to make a run for it.

 

“No problem mate.” He waved me off good-naturedly and started tidying up.

 

“Good night Ianto,” called Tosh.

 

“See you tomorrow Tosh,” I called back. I’d donned my jacket and turned off my computer. “G’night Owen.” I called down to him loudly from across the hub. “Thanks again!”

 

“See ya mate,” he called back to me.

 

Jack came out of his office to see what all the shouting was about. He looked around and noticed I was gone. “Where’s Ianto?” he asked Tosh.

 

“Oh, he had to… he had to go to a going away do.” Tosh had just gotten comfortable and was trying to finish up a project she’d been working on all day.

 

He looked at her, stunned as if she were speaking a foreign language.

 

“It’s important,” she insisted. “We need to do these things sometimes Jack.”

 

Owen came up the steps and tossed a disgusting hunk of something into the large bin before pulling on his jacket. “It’s called _a life_ Jack,” added Owen. “You should try it. Trust me, I’m a Doctor.”

 

Tosh snickered.

 

He waved to Tosh who waved back and then he sauntered out the door.

 

“I’d love to,” Jack retorted to no one in particular. “Just waiting for the right man,” he added wistfully.

 

Tosh tried to go back to her project but Jack was leaning up against my desk and still hovering behind her.

 

She looked up at him, feeling rather annoyed by his continued and distracting presence. “Need something Jack? You’re hovering,” she added with obvious irritation.

 

“Just curious.” He tapped his foot against the desk. “Who’s the party for?”

 

“Colin,” she said sounding distracted.

 

“What?” he exclaimed.

 

“You know - Ianto’s boyfriend?”

 

“Unfortunately,” he said glumly. “Wait? Did you say going away? Where’s he going?”

 

“Newcastle. Job promotion,” she said tersely.

 

“Really? Now that’s interesting.” He was intrigued by the sheer number of possibilities this new development might present.

 

“Jack….” she warned. “You can’t just pounce. You need to wait a decent amount of time.” She snapped out the 21st Century Social Rule, her voice laced with impatience.

 

“They’re breaking up,” he said excitedly. “He’s bound to feel sad. Can’t I comfort him?” he asked eagerly.

 

“No, you **_can not_**.” She told him in her angry teacher voice.

 

“Why not?” He whined at her with a pouty face.

 

“You’d be poaching. Taking advantage,” she declared.

 

“ _Harumpf_.” He paused to think. “How long do I need to wait?” he asked after a moment.

 

“I don’t know exactly.” She was getting exasperated.

 

“Well, I need specifics,” he demanded. He thumped his hand down on the desk in frustration. “You say I have to wait. You must have a time frame in mind.”

 

“There isn’t a manual.” Her words were uttered coolly.

 

“There should be,” he argued. “How am I supposed to know the rules if there’s no manual? Hmmm?” In his mind, his argument was airtight. He’d expected her to capitulate and focus her attention on him once again.

 

She just shook her head and tried to ignore him.

 

Disappointed with her reaction, he whined, “Tosh?”

 

“Yes Jack!?” She spun around, the daggers in her eyes ready to fire.

 

Her venom surprised him. He pouted, tried for pathetic and remorseful. “Can you… help me woo him?”

 

“You want to woo him?” Her voice was pitched high, incredulous.

 

He nodded solemnly.

 

“Ah. Okay.” She looked at him briefly before turning back to her screen. “I guess I can do that. But not tonight,” she said sternly. “I need to finish this. Then I need to go home. There’s a trashy novel and a bottle of wine calling my name.”

 

“Sounds boring,” he groaned dramatically. “You should stay here and tutor me on appropriate wooing techniques.” He was jumping around like a kid in a candy store on candy delivery day.

 

“Not tonight Jack.” She held her ground.

 

“But I want to start tomorrow…” he whinged.

 

“It’s too soon.” She was still typing away and trying very hard to ignore him.

 

“Ya, you’re right.” He sighed, capitulated. She wouldn’t be swayed. “I should at least wait until he’s gone.”

 

 

TW **X** DW

 

 

****

**THE WEATHER THAT NIGHT SEEMED PARTICULARLY CALM** and the air outside smelled crisp and clean. I stepped through the door and sharp cackles and bubbling peals of laughter filled the air. The people assembled here were friends, coworkers, supervisors, teachers, all people who new, respected and loved Colin. They’d had the privilege of serving with him, beside him through joyous occasions like birthdays, anniversaries and promotions and through hard, dark times as well. They’d come to see him off and to make sure he knew that he was loved and would be missed. That was the message, the real purpose of this gathering. It wasn’t just an excuse for a party; it was a way to tell him he’d be missed.

 

He was surrounded on all sides; on one side Dave stood with a hand on his shoulder, on the other Darla was pressed up against his arm, there were several chatting behind him and in front smiley-John held his drink aloft and was heartily toasting his future. His friends were vying for his attention, just one last joke, one last smile to be shared before tomorrow when he left for good. The Inspector stood near, an overseer, a guardian surveying his pride from atop his grassy knoll with nose and cheeks rosy from too much cheer and clouded eyes that lacked their familiar sparkle.

 

I stood farther afield, an observer, unnoticed and still removed from the party. I watched him closely; he was smiling, his eyes held a touch of moisture that comes after heavy laughter or sadness. They were regaling him with tall tales and exploits and soon they’d shift their focus to his grand deeds but as soon as they began, all eyes would mist and things would become more somber.

 

Smiley-John had finished his toast and said what he needed to say so he gave him a solid, very manly slap on the back and sauntered off. The lull in conversation permitted Colin’s gaze to drift across the crowd and towards the door and I smiled when it settled on me. He waved me over and the sea of people parted like magic allowing me passage towards my departing lover. I nodded at the Inspector and received a tight nod in return. There was something in his eyes tonight.

 

Colin pulled me into his arms and his skin felt overly warm, nearly feverish. “You okay?” I whispered in his ear.

 

“Ya, just overwhelmed,” he assured me slightly out of breath. “I’m glad you’re here, though.”

 

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” I told him. I stood by his side while his guests filed by and paid homage to the man of the hour. Later on, they brought out a cake decorated with gaudy brightly colored icing. The party planners had chosen a theme that befitted a young Welshman leaving his homeland for the dangerous south. They’d formed the icing in the shape of a life raft and it was filled with various safety equipment – all made out of cake, candy and icing. He’d received numerous gag gifts throughout the evening, a mini first aid kit, a mini torch and lock-pic set, an extendable baton and a kid’s spy kit. They laughed and taunted him about having to live amongst the Geordies and he took it all in good stride.

 

Later still as things quieted down people started to stand up and make short speeches in Colin’s honour. The Inspector went up last and a hush fell over the crowd. His words were always gruff to the ear but their intent and heartfelt meaning left no eye dry in the house. The Inspector was passed a package which he held awkwardly in his rough hands.  He called Colin to the center stage and presented him with our group gift.   

 

“This is from all of us,” he said gruffly, “and we hope you’ll use it.” He handed the package to Colin and hugged him fiercely before he stepped away.

 

Colin opened it carefully, his face flushed with pleasure and apprehension. There was no telling what this lot might come up with. He gasped when he realized what it was. “Ah… a plane ticket?” His voice quavered and his mouth fell open in surprise. “This is amazing!”

 

“It’s so you can come and visit us!” someone shouted from the crowd.

 

“Thank you, thank you everyone.” He swallowed. “This is amazing. Huge.” He shook his head and straightened his thoughts. “Of course I’ll come back and visit you,” he promised.

 

“You have a family here Colin,” said the Inspector. “Your own family and this one so don’t forget us.” The Inspector wrapped his arms around the young man and hugged him amiably while the crowd applauded.

 

“Speech! Speech!” Someone called out from the crowd.

 

Colin smiled ruefully. He’d known that this moment would come but he hadn’t been looking forward to it. It meant it was really happening. He had to say goodbye. With his open-ended ticket gripped tightly in his hand he squared his shoulders. He took a deep breath and began by thanking his coworkers and supervisors for their friendship and support. Then he turned to those who’d given him gifts earlier and thanked them again. Then it felt like he turned to me alone and all the people - the noise - the lights just fell away. It was only him and I, and when he spoke his words tore through me.

 

“I won’t forget the friends I’ve made here. We’ve been together, worked side-by-side for so many years; we’ve had some scrapes and some adventures too. I’ve been blessed to have such a supportive mentor. He made me believe in myself and he pushed me to take a chance. Thank you, Inspector. I’m so glad I listened to you.” His eyes flickered away from mine and locked onto the Inspector for a moment and then he was back. His eyes bore into to mine more deeply than before. “Sometimes you have to leave the job you love and try something new. Sometimes you have to leave the people you love and move on. I feel sad.” His voice almost broke. “I’m going to miss you all. I feel like I’m breaking the ties between us even though I don’t want to. But I’m going so far away. I know in my heart I may never see some of you again. I know it sounds cheesy but I’ve got to believe that you have to close a door before another one can open. And like the song says, _every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end_. So wish me luck on my new adventure. I’m going to have a new beginning folks.”

 

The lights had dimmed for me and I was frozen. I felt the happiness go out of the room. All that laughter and happy chatting had gone; I couldn’t hear it for the pounding in my head.

 

After the vast majority had left we gathered up his gifts and headed for his car. I’d assumed that we’d spend this last night together at his place. He had a flight for the early afternoon and that left us the rest of the night before we’d have to say goodbye.

 

I left my car at the club so I could ride with him. He was quiet now that we were alone. I stroked his thigh affectionately while he drove but I could feel how tense he was under my hand. The rain started splattering against the windshield only moments after we left the club. The crisp clean smell from earlier had turned to damp and cold. He reached out and flicked the music off in irritation. “Damn weather,” he muttered.

 

I agreed and squeezed his leg gently. He was so quiet and getting more tense by the moment. “You okay?” I ventured, “You seem tense.”

 

“Actually,” he started, “I’m pissed off.” Then he shot a daggered look at me.

 

“Oh,” I said stupidly. I hadn’t expected pissed off. “Do you want to talk about it?” I wasn’t sure I wanted to talk about it but it seemed like the right thing to do.

 

He sucked his breath in sharply and then heaved it out. “Yes,” he answered tightly. “ _Why - don’t - we_.” His words were clipped and terse.

 

Half way between the club and his flat he put his foot on the break and pulled over to the side of the road. While still technically in the city, we might as well have been in the middle of nowhere. He left the engine running so we’d have some heat but he turned off the annoying wiper blades. He took off his seat belt and turned towards me. His face was partially illuminated by the eerie Borg-Green of the dashboard instruments. In the dark of the car, I shivered and outside the night wore on cold and dismal.

 

“Colin what is it?” I was nervous. I had no idea what he was angry about but I had a terrible feeling he was angry at me.

 

“I had a chat with the Inspector today.” He clenched his jaw and huffed. “Earlier today I was having second thoughts.”

 

“About taking the job?” I ventured.

 

“About everything. About leaving you. About leaving a job I love.  Leaving my family.” His hand tore through his hair.

 

“And now?” I prompted.

 

“And now… well _I’m just pissed off_.”

 

“What about?”

 

“You!” he cried.

 

“Me?” I squeaked.

 

“Yes, you.”

 

“Colin, I don’t understand.”

 

“Oh, I know you don’t,” he snapped. He was frustrated and annoyed by my confused looks. “Let me tell you about my chat with the Inspector shall I?” 

 

“Okay, sure,” I said mildly – still confused.

 

“He was quite adamant that I take this job you know.”

 

“I didn’t,” I answered quietly. I’d suspected as much though.

 

“Everything just fell into place today. I can’t believe how **_blind_** I’ve been.”

 

“About what?”

 

“He was right. We have been growing apart for a long time, since you went on _your little trip_.”

 

“My little trip?” It was irritating how everyone referred to my time with the Doctor as ‘my little trip’ or some other condescending phrase. I wanted to scream _I was saving the bloody world you know!_

 

“Yes dammit! You’ve been different ever since you came back. I never wanted to think the worst. I wouldn’t let myself but I’ve been so naïve!” Colin was agitated and rambling. The words just flew out now.

 

I was speechless.

 

“He didn’t say anything specific. He’s loyal our Inspector. But today I realized that he’s loyal to both of us. He hinted. _He said it might be best to cut my losses._ He’s right. There’s _always_ something going on behind the scenes with you. You _always_ hold something back. Even when you bare your heart to me it’s like you’re only baring a tiny piece of yourself, _just enough_. No matter how well I think I know you, _you always hold back_ ,” he accused.

 

I gulped and said exactly the wrong thing. “I guess I can’t argue with that.”

 

“That’s it? That’s all you’ve got to say to me? _You can’t argue with me_?” Colin was bewildered by my seemingly thoughtless response. He leaned forward and the pain in his voice was terrible. “ _You_ said you didn’t want to stay together. _You_ didn’t want to try. You’re probably _relieved_ that I’m going.” He paused for just a beat and scoured my face to glean whether there was any truth to his accusations. “You haven’t been mine for a long time and I’ve only just figured it out,” he nearly sobbed. Daggers flew from his lips and tore at my guilty heart. “ _But the question is, Ianto, when did you figure it out **?**_ ”

 

I shuddered and sat there dumb. Words were inadequate at this point. His fury was warranted and he didn’t even know the half of it. I wouldn’t confirm his suspicions at this point. It wouldn’t serve him. Knowing the truth wouldn’t make him feel any better. There was no salvaging this. I said the only thing I could say. I said the only true words left for me to say. “I’m so sorry, Colin. I know. You’re right. I’ve always… held back. I always will.” I tried to choose my words carefully. “I’m sorry that we’ve grown apart. It’s probably all my fault.” I hung my head in shame. “And I know you don’t want to hear this right now but you need to know I do love you. I have always loved you. _I just wish it were enough_.” Those last six words were horrible and probably better left unsaid but they were the truth and he deserved as much of the truth as I could give him after all this time.

 

In the darkness, my hurtful words hung between us like a guillotine ready to drop. Colin’s face was twisted with anger and his final words to me were cold and empty. “I guess this conversation is over.” He’d glanced at the door and his meaning was perfectly clear. _Get the fuck out of my car_.

 

I nodded and blinked away the tears. I whispered, “Good bye,” and then I swung the door open and stepped out into the pouring rain.

 

The moment the door slammed shut he drove away leaving me standing on the curb somewhere between the club and my lost lover’s home. With my head hung low, hands shoved deeply into my pockets I walked back to the club.

 

It was early Sunday morning as I walked through the deserted streets and I was reminded that Saturday night had been a time for parties and for friends. Hours earlier these streets had held crowds of people, laughter and music. Groups of strangers had passed each other in the dark and lovers had exchanged stolen kisses under dimly lit street lamps.

 

The rain poured down, cruelly pelting me on the head and shoulders. The only evidence that this place had so recently thronged with celebrations of life, love and happiness lay strewn and soaking on the ground. All that remained were empty bottles, patches of vomit, discarded used condoms, empty cigarette wrappers and torn crisp packets. Eventually the rain might wash away this debris and nothing would be left. Ultimately, the streets and I would be left bereft and hollow.

 

****

**_Continued in… 10 – It’s All Fun and Games_ **

****

 

**_  
_ **

 


	10. It’s All Fun and Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ianto’s New Timeline: December 9, 2005 (3rd month)
> 
> Ianto juggles his own special projects
> 
> A/N: The writers of Supernatural came up with that awesome line [It’s a field - not the Death Star] I’m just borrowing it for a few minutes.

 

**_The day after the party…_ **

****

**“SO… OWEN?”** I was trying to dress and sling Tosh’s imaginary broken arm and I wasn’t doing a very good job of it. Tosh was doing her best not to snicker at me.

 

“Ya?” He answered without looking up. He was assembling the medical kit for the next scenario.

 

“I was hoping you’d teach us how to deal with a gunshot wound,” I reminded him. “I think it might be one of those essential skills you were talking about.”

 

He nodded in agreement. “You’re right. I’ll get to that soon. Chances are good that one of us gets shot. If I’m not around…”

 

“Or if **_you_** get shot,” I added in a quiet voice.

 

“Ya, that too.” He agreed uncomfortably. “Tomorrow. We’ll do gunshot wounds tomorrow. I promise. I’ll teach you to extract bullets and how to clamp nicked arteries.”

 

“That’s a good idea,” added Jack. He’d just gotten off the phone. He’d spent the better part of the morning being harried by government officials and he looked ragged.

 

“Good you’re here. It’s about time. We need you for the next bit. Get down here Jack.” Owen was impatient and hurried Jack over with an animated hand waggle.

 

“Okay, let me see your sling.” He surveyed my workmanship and rolled his eyes. “That’s pathetic,” he complained. He untangled Tosh from her mummy wrapping and scooted Jack and me over to the next table. “You two are going to work together. You follow what Tosh and I do.”

 

We watched as he took out several intravenous kits and placed them on a tray. “We all need to be able to set up an IV. It’ll be essential in the event of blood loss or if we need to sedate someone.” He hadn’t meant to bring up Suzie again. We’d all been avoiding the subject like the Plague. “Ianto, you’ll practice on Jack and Tosh, you can practice on me.”

 

Jack blanched.

 

He took out an illustration and explained the do’s and don’ts. Then he told Jack to roll up his shirtsleeve.

 

“Why me?” cried Jack.

 

“Because you’re so big and strong,” quipped Owen.

 

“But it’s so big!” Jack protested.

 

“Chill out Jack, it’s a needle not the Death Star,” Owen said drolly.

 

We laughed our asses off. All except for Jack. He looked at us like we were mental. I don’t think he even knew what a Death Star was but he was too proud to ask.

 

“Be the brave captain now,” Owen taunted.

 

Jack pouted but did as he was told. We gathered around closely and watched as Owen skillfully punctured Jack’s skin and tapped a vein.

 

“Ouch,” whined Jack.

 

“Oh stop your whinging you bloody big baby!” Owen chastised him loudly.

 

I bit my lip to stop the grin and Tosh did the same. Jack grumbled to himself about the brutality of certain so-called doctors and Owen completely ignored him.

 

“Right. Now you try.” He motioned for me to go next. I looked at Jack’s pathetic eyes and I just shook my head.

 

“I’m sorry Jack,” I said genuinely. “But one day this might save a life.”

 

“I know, I know. Don’t worry. Do your worst. I’ll heal,” he muttered under his breath.

 

“I’ll be careful,” I promised quietly.

 

Owen started giving us step-by-step directions guiding Tosh and I through the procedure. Owen caught a glint of fear in Jack’s glance and took some pity on him. “Okay Jack, let’s you and me play a game of Marry, Kill or Fuck. You go first.”

 

“Who am I using?” Jack asked uncertainly.

 

“Us three of course,” Owen blurted out.

 

Jack looked at him apprehensively and hesitated.

 

“Come on Jack tell me you’d at least marry me,” Owen joked.

 

He shrugged. “Okay… fine. I’d marry Tosh ‘cause she’s so sweet.” He batted his eyes at her.

 

“Awww. Thanks Jack. You’re such a gentleman.” She grinned and stuck out her tongue at Owen.

 

Jack cleared his throat before he spoke. “I’d have to fuck Ianto ‘cause he’s so damn sexy. Sorry Owen,” he apologized quickly, “I’ll have to kill ya.”

 

“What?” Owen exclaimed. “I thought I’d at least get to fuck the mighty Jack Harkness.” He chuckled and guffawed at his own joke. He snuck a peak surreptitiously at my progress. His ploy had worked. Jack was completely distracted from his obvious fear of needles and I’d finished putting in the IV.

 

“You pick who goes next Jack,” prodded Owen.

 

He looked between Owen and Tosh; he’d already decided that he wouldn’t put me on the spot. “I choose you, Owen.” He smiled wickedly.

 

“No problem!” Owen assured them. “But we need to switch. Jack you do Ianto now.”

 

Jack quirked his eyebrow ludicrously high and then drawled, “Oh goody… I get to _do you_ Ianto, doctor’s orders.”

 

I smirked, Tosh giggled and Owen kicked himself mentally.

 

Owen made a big show of assessing us each in turn before he declared his choices. “I’d have to marry Tosh as well.” His words garnered a rosy blush from her. “And between the two of you… well I’d rather fuck Ianto any day of the week. You just never know where Jack’s been.”

 

I laughed and snorted but only for a few moments because Jack decided it was a good time to plunge the needle into my arm. “Ouch!” I frowned. “That smarts, Jack.”

 

He smiled apologetically. “Sorry, I was a bit too forceful.”

 

Owen finished. “Jack you’d better be nicer or you’ll get voted off the island.” He paused a beat and then added, “Sorry, Jack you’re dead.”

 

“Thanks Owen, I’ll be sure to remember that,” he muttered.

 

Owen just chuckled. “I choose Ianto next.”

 

I rolled my eyes. I hadn’t been looking forward to this. “Fine. I’ll marry Tosh too. We all know why. Owen, I’m sorry but you’re dead. Jack I’d have to fuck,” I added quickly.

 

Owen winced and let out a long pained, “ _Ooooh…_ Did you hear that Jack? He said _he’d have to._ Doesn’t sound very promising, does it? Not all that excited to get you beetween the sheets,” he teased.

 

Jack made a face at Owen and retorted, “At least he didn’t kill me.”

 

I grinned at Jack and shook my head. “You’re both bloody big children.” I smiled and looked at Tosh. “Your turn Tosh.”

 

“Oh, alright if I have to.” She paused a moment before continuing. “I’ll marry Owen. My parents would be so pleased,” she joked. “I’ll fuck Ianto,” she said quickly. “And Jack you I have to kill. Sorry,” she said at last.

 

“Oh, I am _so dead_ ,” complained Jack.

 

“Don’t worry Jack,” I said, “I’d keep you alive.”

 

He chuckled. “I have to admit, that does make me feel better.” His smile was huge and he ran his hand across my back.

 

“Oi! Get a room you two,” shouted Owen.

 

“Face it Owen, you started it. It’s your fault,” accused Tosh.

 

“You’re right Tosh I’m a fool,” he agreed.

 

 

TW **X** DW

 

 

 

* * *

_TW    Ianto’s Journal    TW    Ianto’s Journal   TW_

* * *

 

_December 9, 2005_

_That did not turn out how I expected. It all went to shit. I can’t believe he just left me. I deserved it – I totally did. It still hurts though. I wanted to end things better than that. I didn’t want him to hate me. I wanted him to remember me fondly at least. Now he just hates my fucking guts. And I totally deserve it._

_What the hell did the Inspector say to him? He doesn’t know about Jack – he couldn’t. There must be something else. But what is it that he thinks he knows?  I’ve got to call him._

_I can’t stop thinking about him. Jack. Today was great. Like old times – only better. The four of us. It’s like a dream. I’ve gotten so much extra time with Tosh and Owen. How am I going to fix that? I need a plan. And I’ll need some serious help. One step at a time. Christmas is coming. I need to start my research on the 456. I need to talk to Jack about them. I’m not looking forward to that._

**_To do:_ ** _make some calls about Christmas (Type A-pos I think)_

 **_Not to do_ ** _: ???    Bed – naked – sex – Jack. Obviously not a good idea. Dammit._

 

* * *

_TW    Ianto’s Journal    TW    Ianto’s Journal   TW_

* * *

 

 

 

TW **X** DW

 

 

“ **WE HAD A HUGE FIGHT** ,” I started to explain. “He dumped me at the side of the road and I walked back to the club in the rain.”

 

“I’m not surprised,” he said tightly. His distaste was apparent.

 

“You told him he should cut his losses?” I half asked - half accused.

 

“Of course. And so would you if you were in my position.” He sounded confident and stern, he wasn’t budging.

 

“You made it sound like…” I sighed. I had to admit he’d made it sound much like it was.

 

“I made it sound like your relationship wasn’t worth throwing away a once in a lifetime career opportunity for.” He finished the sentence for me. It wasn’t _at all_ what I was going to say but it rang true none the less.

 

I stood mutely and all but stared at the phone with a gaping mouth. I couldn’t believe he’d said that! But I couldn’t even muster an appropriate amount of indignation. 

 

“What did you expect?” he demanded impatiently.

 

“I don’t know… I…” I started to explain myself but I was grasping at straws.

 

“No seriously, what did you think would happen?” His voice was softer now, less angry.

 

 _He loves us both_ , I reminded myself.

 

“Ianto, every time we talk on the phone, all I hear is _Jack this_ and _Jack that_. It’s not hard to figure, lad. I’ve known you a few years. You’re pretty easy to read once you know what to look for.”

 

“So you told him I was…what? … _in love_ with someone else?” I hoped it wasn’t true.

 

“No. I didn’t say that.” He said the words quietly and I heard him exhale loudly. “I told him it looked like you two were growing apart and it only took him a moment to realize it was true.”

 

“He was so angry.” I felt horrible for the pain I’d caused him. “I do love him, Inspector, I always have,” I insisted.

 

“I know that and so does he,” he assured me. “Even so, you have to admit you haven’t been entirely honest with him though.”

 

“I know.” I grimaced. Once again I was frustrated and gagged by the curse of secrecy. “Inspector I know you’ve always felt that I’m secretive about certain things.”

 

“Ya,” he scoffed. “To say the least.”

 

“I have a good reason,” I insisted. “I really do. I wouldn’t lie to you unless it was essential.”

 

“But how do you decide that Ianto?” He sounded exasperated. “You have to trust somebody.” He sighed again, “You can _trust me_. I wish you would.”

 

But how could I? How could I tell him my secret? He’d have me committed. Worse, I’d lose a friend. But I felt like I was losing him anyway.

 

“Inspector, some of the secrets I hold, they’re not my own.” I tried to explain. “They’re not my secrets to tell.” I thought about the trying times on the near horizon. “But soon, I’ll be able to tell you some. But right now, you’d never believe me. So please just trust me a little longer. And I swear by Christmas… you’ll understand.”

 

He held his silence a moment then came to a decision. “Alright Ianto. You’re right. I’ve always trusted you. I know there’s something… _unique_ about you, I always have and it’s never bothered me before now. I’ll wait - for you.”

 

“Thank you Inspector,” I said quickly. “I know you’re not a patient man.”

 

He chuckled.

 

“Please have faith in me. I won’t let you down.” I had a plan. I’d prove to him once and for all that he could trust me – that he knew me and always had.

 

 

**_Continued in… 11 – In the Interests of Many_ **

_  
_

****


	11. In the Interests of Many

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings/spoilers/content: some rude language, reference to TW3.1 Children of Earth   
> Summary:  Sometimes, the greater good doesn’t feel very good.
> 
> Ianto’s New Timeline:  December 12, 2005 (3rd month at TW)

 

**_A few days later…_ **

****

**I POKED MY HEAD THROUGH HIS OFFICE DOOR** , which stood slightly ajar. “Jack, can I speak with you for a moment?”

 

“Sure, Ianto come on in. Have a seat. What’s on your mind?” He was a little distracted working on several things at once.

 

“I need to go on a research trip to London.” I sat and waited for _that look_.

 

He blanched apprehensively. “What? Why London?”

 

“I need to get access to some files for a special project,” I explained.

 

“And which special project would that be?” He leaned back in his chair and mentally shifted into _crisis-assessment-mode_.

 

I smiled thinly, more of a grimace really.

 

He sighed, exasperated. “What now?” He threw his pen down on the desk in disgust.

 

I sighed too. I would always be the bearer of bad news and this time would be no different. “It’s a long term thing and it’s important,” I assured him.

 

“To you?”

 

“To everyone.”

 

“Everyone at Torchwood?”

 

“No, I mean everyone on Earth.”

 

“Shit.”

 

“Yes, very much… shit indeed.” I agreed wholeheartedly.

 

“Oh, for the love of… What do you need and why now?” His hands were raking through his hair, a telltale sign of distress.

 

“Now… is a good time. I need to go before Christmas. Christmas is going to be… busy. It’s best if I go before.” I rambled nervously.

 

“Okay, fine,” he agreed. “The timing is fine. But what is this about?” He needed more information. Mostly, he needed it to stave off his growing panic.

 

I stared at him for a long, long time. This was going to suck. “It’s about the children,” I said in a pained quiet voice. I tried to keep my breathing slow and calm.

 

He frowned, “Which children?”

 

“The one’s they gave to the aliens in 1965.” I spoke those terrible words as gently as I could.

 

So many emotions passed over him, through him, rolling ‘round and ‘round behind his eyes like a torturous rollercoaster: _shock-fear-anger-guilt-terror-anger-shame_. He leaned forward to rest his elbows on his desk and covered his face with his open palms. He swallowed, he clenched his jaw, he stood and he clenched his fists. He retrieved his friend _Mister Whiskey_ from atop the cabinet.

 

“I’ll take one too please,” I asked quietly. He poured and passed me the tumbler. “Thank you,” I whispered.

 

He sat. His eyes were averted, glazed, lost in memory.

 

 

**_[Scooby-Doo Flash back – Scotland – 1965]_ **

_The children filed off the school bus nervously. I stood in front of them—assured them Uncle Jack would take them on an adventure—and convinced them to walk to their doom. “Here we go.” I clapped my hands. “Alright, children. You follow me. Adventure.” My voice trembled. “Okay children… walk into the light. Do as I say.” I had that stupid fake smile plastered on my face._

_But one little boy hesitated. His innocent face tilted up to meet mine and he begged me to keep him safe. “What’s in there? What is it?” He just wanted me to tell him the truth, to protect him, like I should have._

_“Just go.” I told him._

_“It’s safe though isn’t it?” Eyes wide, he pleaded in a tiny terrified voice._

_“Ya, it’s safe.” Oh, forgive me. I knew it wasn’t safe._

_The little blond boy took a few steps then hesitated and turned to look at me one last time. His eyes sought reassurance and I kept lying. “Keep going. You don’t wanna be left out, do you?” I manipulated him with an orphan’s fear, to be left behind. Then suddenly the bright white light exploded and expanded, blinding everyone. I shielded my eyes and I lost sight of him. Then we were left in darkness. I betrayed him, I betrayed them all…_

 

**I COULDN’T BEAR TO WATCH HIM** relive the pain again. “Jack…” I called and brought him back to the present.

 

His eyes said he didn’t thank me for it. “It was so long ago,” he managed to get out.

 

“I know.” I whispered painfully.

 

“You don’t,” he insisted.

 

“ _I do_.” I insisted harder. “I… know… Jack. It’s done, it’s the past and you can’t change it. But know this, those _parasites_ are coming back and they won’t settle for just 12 this time.”

 

“Oh, fuck no,” he moaned. _He would know_ , he thought. _He would see right through me. I’m a fucking monster. How can he look at me?_

 

“Yes and unless we do something _we are all_ seriously fucked.”

 

“What can I do?” His voice was flat, his eyes lifeless and his body sagged in defeat. _What can I do after all this time? There’s nothing you can do,_ his self-hating inner voice replied, y _ou can’t atone for this_. _Ever._

 

“I need more information on them. I need to get into MI6 records. They don’t tend to share well with others so I need you to get me clearance to get into that area. I can make my way to the files we need once I’m inside.”

 

He nodded. “I can do that.” He closed his eyes. “What else?” When I looked at him blankly he insisted, “Come on, there’s always something else.”

 

“For now, this is it Jack.”

 

Suddenly, he became very tense. Then he asked in a terribly pained, fearful voice, “Are they… is it happening _this_ Christmas?”

 

I shook my head vigorously. “No—no Jack—not for a while yet. I just want to be ready.”

 

“Oh, thank the gods. Thank _them all **,**_ ” he groaned and then sat quietly for a moment. He struggled to meet my eyes. With hands wrapped around his pounding skull, he rasped, “How can you look at me?” It was a small broken voice. It didn’t suit him.

 

“Jack. I understand _more_ than you know.” I spoke quietly like I would to a frightened horse. “This is… _what you do_.”

 

He sat frozen in place, shocked and dismayed. He must’ve misunderstood me, thought I was accusing him of regularly being a monster.

 

I leaned forward and reached for his hand. “You do the things that _need to be done,”_ I explained **.** “The things no one else can or will do. You always do what has to be done. This is no different.” I gave him a gentle squeeze.

 

He clenched his eyes shut tightly trying to stave off the threat of moisture. But every time he closed his eyes, he flinched sharply because behind his lids images loomed—he saw their fresh innocent faces—the twelve lost children he’d sacrificed to a bunch of fucking monsters.

 

**“JACK, COME WITH ME.”** I took his hand and dragged him out of his chair. I slipped his coat on and pulled him down the metal stairs. We were alone and it was late so I took a moment to shut down the hub. “Jack, redirect the rift detector to your wrist strap,” I instructed him in a no-nonsense tone of voice that said I’d brook no arguments. “Come on,” I said again. “You’re driving. Go on.” I pushed him out the door.

 

I changed my mind about him driving when I realized he could barely put one foot in front of the other. I slipped my hand into his deep pocket and pulled out the keys to the SUV. I opened the passenger side and pushed him towards the open door.

 

His eyes were focussed on the ground but they were unseeing. I drove out of the car park and on the way to my flat I stopped off at a corner grocery and bought us a ready-made roast chicken.

 

When we arrived at my flat Jack looked at me as if he’d just woken from a dream. “What are we doing? Where are we?” He looked around, confused.

 

“We’re at my flat, Jack. Come on, we’re going to eat this chicken. We need to eat and we need some time away from the hub.”

 

He nodded in agreement but he didn’t say anything else. I unlocked the door and hung up both our coats. I had to direct him to the kitchen. He was back to his dazed absent state again. We ate the chicken a bit mechanically but it was good and hearty and needed. I led him to the living room and put a comedy show on. It didn’t make him laugh or smile but it didn’t make it worse either. After only a half hour he’d laid his head back and closed his eyes. He was exhausted, emotionally more than physically. He needed someone to care for him, to keep him safe from his nightmares and self-recriminations. I grabbed a hold of his wrists and pulled him to his feet.

 

“I’m fine here,” he protested.

 

“No, you’re not. Come with me,” I said. I didn’t give him a choice. I led him to the bathroom and pushed him inside. “Do you want to brush your teeth?”

 

“Sure,” he whispered offhandedly.

 

“Here, use mine. I don’t mind.” I pressed the toothbrush into his hand and then spread some paste on it as well.

 

“You sure?” He stood there looking at the toothbrush in his hand like he’d never seen one before.

 

I nodded.

 

“Thanks.” He looked at me. He searched my face for some sign of hatred or judgement but he didn’t find any. He rasped, “Thank–you–Ianto.”

 

“You’re welcome, Jack. Now, brush your teeth, go to the toilet and then go in there.” I pointed to the open room across the hall. It was my room but he didn’t know that.

 

He came wandering in a few moments later with some toothpaste smeared on the edge of his lip. I wiped it off with my finger and told him to have a seat. I quickly took care of my own ablutions and when I walked through the bedroom door, I realized that he’d taken me quite literally. He’d taken a seat on the edge of the bed and that was all.

 

I stood in front of him and then squatted down to look into his eyes. They were dull and flat and spoke volumes of trauma and guilt. He looked like someone who’d seen way too much. “Jack? Jack are you going to be all right?”

 

He nodded. “Of course. I’m sorry. I’d… I’d almost forgotten… I never thought I’d have to…”

 

“It’s okay.” I said quickly, cutting him off.

 

“How can you be okay with this?” he demanded of me, his voice incredulous.

 

“I know you Jack. You do your duty and you do what’s in the best interest of the many.”

 

“How can you?” He was shaking his head in disbelief.

 

“I just do. Now stand up. Come on… up.” I commanded. He acquiesced and rose to his feet. I started undressing him and he stood there confused and hesitant.

 

“What are you doing? I mean I know what you’re doing but why are you undressing me?” He wasn’t resisting physically but he sure hadn’t caught on to what was happening.

 

“Do you want to sleep in your clothes?” I used my uncle voice, the one specially reserved for patient explaining and the subtle manipulation of children.

 

“No,” he admitted.

 

“Then get undressed.” I continued stripping him of his many layers. I pulled his unbuttoned blue shirt off and pulled the white t-shirt over his head. “Take off your trousers.” I moved over to my dresser and pulled out a couple of pairs of pyjama bottoms. Still facing the dresser, I got undressed and put on my favorite well-worn pair of pyjamas before returning to Jack.

 

He was standing a short distance behind me. He’d watched me undress and although he wasn’t smiling or leering he was definitely more alert now than he’d been in hours.

 

“What?” I asked shortly.

 

“Nothing.” He looked uncharacteristically apprehensive.

 

I sighed and passed him the other pair.

 

“Thank you.” He held them up at eye level and inspected the festooned fabric. “Fire trucks?” He marveled.

 

“You have a problem with fire trucks?” I challenged.

 

He shook his head and adamantly denied having any problem with my second favorite fire truck pyjamas. I actually got a slight grin from that one. Once he’d gotten them on, he stood once again in the center of the room unsure of what was expected of him. “ _Ah_ …” He began, “Tosh told me I wasn’t allowed to…” he paused and scratched his head, “ _Mmm_ … to ask you on a date yet…” he finished uncomfortably.

 

“Why’s that?” _That was out of the blue,_ I thought. _What the hell is he talking about?_

 

“Colin,” was his one word answer.

 

“Oh.” And the light finally dawned. Of course she’d told him. “How’d you hear about that?” I asked rhetorically.

 

“I’m nosey,” was all he would say.

 

“Yes, you are,” I agreed, slightly amused.

 

“Was she right?” he asked.

 

“Yes.” I nodded. “But this isn’t a date. This is comfort,” I explained. “I don’t want you to be alone tonight. I’ve made you feel horrible. And I want you to… _just shut your mouth,”_ I blurted ** _, “_** and get under the covers before I lose my temper,” I finished unconvincingly. 

 

“Okay.” I saw his lips twitch fractionally but he schooled his face quickly. We snuggled under the cozy flannel sheets and pulled the goose down comforter up to our chins.

 

“Are you comfortable?” I asked. “Is the pillow alright?” I really did feel terrible for making him feel… so terrible.

 

“Sure. It’s fine. I’m… very comfortable. Thank you.” Jack had no idea what the rules were in a situation like this. _There really ought to be a manual_ , he fumed.

 

“Good,” I said quietly. I was getting drowsy.

 

“Ianto?” He apparently—was not.

 

“Yes, Jack.” I nearly groaned. _How long was he going to keep talking?_

 

“Thank you.” He whispered the words sincerely.

 

“You’re welcome,” I told him.

 

“Ianto?”

 

“Yes?” I had the feeling he wasn’t going to let me get to sleep any time soon.

 

“I’m a bit of a cuddler,” he warned. “I might end up spooning you in my sleep.”

 

“You can spoon me if you want Jack,” I mumbled.

 

“No… I mean… not intentionally,” he protested. He’d been told that he was ‘grabby’ in bed—even asleep. There’s no telling what he might grab onto with Ianto lying right next to him.

 

“Jack?” I sighed and opened my eyes.

 

“Yes,” he said with some trepidation. He heard the change in my voice and he tensed.

 

“Do you want to spoon me?” I asked mildly.

 

He cleared his throat. “Yes.”

 

“Then go ahead. I don’t mind.” I couldn’t help grinning.

 

“Really?” He asked one last time.

 

“Really.” Tosh must have really read him the riot act.

 

He slid over and molded his body to the back of mine. “Thank you,” he whispered again.

 

“Good night, Jack.”

 

“Good night, Ianto.” And then he finally shut up long enough for me to fall asleep.

 

.

**_Continued in… 12 – In the Interests of You (and Me)_ **

 

_  
_

****


	12. In the Interests of You (and Me)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ianto’s New Timeline:  December 15-22, 2005 (3rd month at TW)
> 
> Don’t you deserve a reward for trying to save the world?

 

 

**HE HADN’T BEEN TROLLING IN AGES**. He hadn’t had the urge. He scanned the darkened smoky room; his eyes searched for the right combination—dark hair—blue eyes—not too short—not too old. _There’s one_ , he thought. The potential turned around and Jack frowned. He wasn’t the one, not even close. He craved something, something very specific. He needed to feel… something, a connection perhaps, a touch, a spark or maybe just a warm body. But every potential turned out to be wrong, especially up close.  

 

He leaned against the sticky bar and nursed his drink. He rarely drank but tonight he’d made an exception. Hunger simmered, his eyes glittered like a starving predator, on the prowl in search of life-saving sustenance moments before his own demise. He surveyed the watering hole and calculated the odds.

 

It’s dangerous at the watering hole. All prey know this, instinctively; their thirst drives them forward and potentially into the claws of death none-the-less. Any vulnerability is exploited by those stronger, fiercer or hungrier.

 

They were all starving animals here. They were all seeking something, needing something more than they already had and they were all desperate. He was desperately alone. His obsession had gone away, _only for a short time_ he told himself. The absence pained him and left an unfamiliar gaping hole gnawing at his insides.

 

“Love the coat.” The lissom blonde rumbled in his ear. He’d seen Jack actively scoping out the club and had made his way across the crowded room to get a better look. _And hopefully_ , he thought _to get a taste as well_.

 

Jack turned towards the voice to get a closer look at his admirer. He was slim and tall like a gazelle. His hair was the color of straw and fell stiffly to his shoulders and he was way too young. Jack met his eyes and thanked him for the compliment but he felt no spark, no flare of lust when he surveyed the young man. They stood at the bar and chatted politely while Jack slowly sipped his liquid hell-fire and dreamed of oblivion. The _too young—too thin—straw colored—gazelle_ invited Jack to join him at a more private locale but he declined; he couldn’t even pretend. His heart just wasn’t in it.

 

Normally, he’d slither between the pulsing bodies on the dance floor, enjoying the second-hand lust. Tonight, he steered clear, walked around the edge and made his way above ground, back into the night. It was late when he finally reached the hub but he was desperate so he sent a text message to the one person he wished he was with.

 

 

TW **X** DW

 

 

>  
> 
> * * *
> 
> _TW    Ianto’s Journal    TW    Ianto’s Journal   TW_
> 
> * * *
> 
>  
> 
> _December 20, 2005 - London_
> 
> _Got a text message from Jack tonight. Surprising to say the least. He said he missed me – was thinking of me. Not what I expected. Not at all. But I guess I shouldn’t be so surprised. After all, he did spend the night, slept in my bed and didn’t try a thing. Now that was surprising. I actually considered testing to see if he’d been body-snatched. I really need to talk to Tosh, find out what she said._
> 
> _I’ve only been gone five days. Feels like forever. I hate hotel rooms. Too damn quiet. And the bed’s too big. Makes me even lonelier. All I do is toss and turn. And dream. My dreams have been bloody insane. I’ve dreamt of Jack almost every night. They’re vivid, in color and… way too erotic._
> 
> _I found what I was looking for today. I’ve got his name. Now I need to present it to Jack._
> 
> **_To do:_ ** _have another shower – damn dreams_
> 
> **_Not to do:_ ** _don’t forget about blood types_
> 
>  
> 
> * * *
> 
> _TW    Ianto’s Journal    TW    Ianto’s Journal   TW_
> 
> * * *
> 
>  
> 
>  

 

TW **X** DW

 

 

**I’D BEEN GONE A WEEK** , just long enough to sneak around and get into the above top-secret archives so I could find the information I needed. Apparently, it was also long enough for Jack to miss me so much he nearly hugged the breath out of me when he picked me up at the airport.

 

“It’s good to see you.” He spoke through a great big grin.

 

“Ahh… you too Jack.” I gasped for breath. “Need—to—breathe.” I sputtered.

 

“Oh, sorry.” He chuckled and loosened his grip then gradually put me down.

 

I must have rolled my eyes because he snorted.

 

“What? I missed you.” He said in his defense.

 

I smiled so widely my face ought to have cracked. I wanted to say _I missed you too and I thought about you every single night and every single time I had a shower_ … but I didn’t. Instead, I said, “I missed you too.”

 

“Come on… I’ll take you out to dinner and you can tell me about your findings.” His words tumbled out, full of excitement.

 

I was about to protest but my reasons seemed flimsy. I totally wanted to have dinner with him. I wanted to tell him all about what I found. But mostly I just wanted to spend time with him—alone.

 

“Did I mention I missed you?” Jack asked seriously.

 

“I think you may have.” I grinned.

 

He grabbed my hand and held it tight swinging our arms back and forth playfully like a skipping rope. “Maybe, I could keep you company again tonight,” he suggested tentatively.

 

I raised an eyebrow in question.

 

“You know…” he said quickly, “I haven’t slept that well in… I don’t know how long. Years.” He was serious. It sounded more like a confession than a flimsy excuse to get me into bed.

 

I considered, weighed and then shrugged. “Maybe.”

 

“Maybe?” He stopped abruptly, still grasping my hand.

 

I nodded and repeated my vague undecided non-answer. “Maybe.”

 

He laughed fully, delightfully and his eyes dazzled. _It’s a start_ , he thought.

 

 

TW **X** DW

 

 

**HE TOOK ME TO A LITTLE BISTRO** that served a hearty, simple fare and it was exactly what I needed. I was famished; I realized while I read the menu. My stomach growled and reminded me I hadn’t eaten on the plane. It was quiet and private too, which was also good.

 

I’d carried the hand-written notes on my person, not willing to risk anyone else seeing their contents. I’d uncovered the name and whereabouts of several key personnel involved in the 1965 transaction. The records were sketchy to say the least. Not exactly something you’d want to write a report on. For the most part, those involved just wanted to put the horrendous experience behind them. “But there were two people who were important,” I explained. “We need to monitor them carefully. We need to stay ahead of them,” I added. Jack nodded for me to go on. “A technician named Mr. Decker and Mr. Frobisher from Home Office.”

 

“I know Frobisher,” he replied.

 

“I know you do,” I countered.

 

“What’s he got to do with this?” He’d leaned forward anticipating my answer.

 

“I’ve written up a quick summary. Take a look.” I passed him the single page. I’d written a simple summary of my findings. Just a few lines, things we needed to focus on.

 

 

>             _Summary of Research Notes:_
> 
> _Alien race known as the 456, named for the wavelength they communicate on. The 456  appeared in 1965, made a secret deal with the British government. They offered a cure to a new strain of the Indonesian flu [predicted death toll: 25 million people] in exchange for 12 children._
> 
> _\-- Decker works for John Frobisher_
> 
> _\-- builds the god-dammed-fucking landing tank to 456 specs_
> 
> _\-- they can control the air inside the building (alter plans?) and_
> 
> _\-- they can kill everyone in Thames House (germ warfare)_
> 
> _\-- need to monitor this frequency (Decker’s job)_
> 
> _\--need to find this technician. Mr. Decker is trouble (long-term employee)_
> 
> _\--need to build a device that sends a destructive signal on the 456 wavelength_

Jack read my notes and quickly looked up. Deep worry lines etched his face. “Tell me about this landing tank,” he urged.

 

_Damn,_ I thought. _Of course he’d pick up on that first_. “It’s a big glass fish tank that’s connected to a separate air supply and a bunch of computers.” I said vaguely.

 

“Why would anyone build them a fish tank?” he wondered. “You don’t send out the welcome wagon to the neighborhood thugs.” He was confused and he looked at me intently. “They didn’t build this thing in 1965,” he pointed out.

 

“No, they didn’t,” I agreed. I gave him a steady gaze and folded my hands.

 

“But they’re going to, aren’t they?” He made the leap, like I knew he would.

 

I nodded, sighed and rolled my tense shoulders.

 

“You know this for a fact?” He prodded insistently.

 

I nodded and added, “Frobisher and Decker will, yes.”

 

“Why would anyone in their right mind do that?” He was disgusted, exasperated and ready to start screaming.

 

“Fear of discovery I imagine would be at the top of the government’s list. But stupidity and ignorance are probably more apt.” The existence of the tank was important and I needed Jack to know about it but I knew sooner or later he’d demand more answers. I could see it in his eyes. The questions were beginning to form.

 

“You know I’ve got to ask.” He spoke in a low, steady voice. “Have you seen this tank? Is it already built?” he added quickly.

 

_Shit_. _Keep it simple_ , I thought. “I’ve seen a tank like this,” I admitted with some reluctance. “But I don’t think they’ve built it yet.”  

 

He frowned. My answer didn’t clear things up at all. “Where did you see the tank?”

 

I winced, the muscles on my face twitched from an invisible slap. I pursed my lips together and tried to come up with an ambiguous yet plausible answer. It took me a few minutes and several deep breaths. He waited. “I have no idea how to explain that to you.” I sighed. “I’ve seen it with my own eyes. That’s really all I can say.” It would have to be enough because that’s all I could give him at this point.

 

“Are you psychic? Can you see the future?” he blurted.

 

I started. “What?” I shrugged and struggled for composure but lost. “What the hell are you talking about?” I demanded in unmitigated confusion.

 

“Well, it would explain how you know stuff,” he explained patiently. “You said you only travelled that once with _our friend_ so I doubt you got all this information from time travel…” he trailed off.

 

A wide grin curled my mouth. I’d expected a few guesses but not this one. “No. Not psychic.” I shook my head. “And you’re right. I only travelled that once.” I smiled into my coffee cup and my eyes glittered mischievously.

 

“So did you check his records? Is that how you know?” he pressed on in all seriousness. He’d obviously given this a lot of thought. _Dog with a bone_ , I reminded myself.

 

“No, I didn’t snoop in the Doctor’s records. Good idea though.” I shrugged at his shocked look. “What? It’s a great idea. Don’t tell me you weren’t tempted!” I challenged his innocent look.

 

A head tilt and a raised eyebrow told me he _had_ been tempted. “Then how? How can you know what they’re going to do?” He responded to my concerned frown. “Don’t worry. I believe you. I just… want to know where you get your information.” He narrowed his eyes. “Do you have a vortex manipulator?” He asked with some suspicion.

 

“No. Of course not,” I insisted. “I don’t have a wrist-strap-thingy. _Nothing like that.”_ I shook my head and waved a hand through the air in exasperation.

 

“Does someone else tell you? Is that it? You have a friend with foreknowledge?” he asked in rapid fire.

 

I shook my head in denial and looked out the window. I was looking for a way to end this secrecy but I just couldn’t see one.

 

“If I guessed it, would you tell me if I was right?” he asked finally.

 

I considered his question seriously and came to a conclusion rather quickly. I nodded. “You know, I would. If you guessed—exactly right—I’d tell you.” I nodded and forced a tight little smile.

 

His brows scrunched together in consternation and his mind scrambled for another alternative.

 

I scanned the room, making sure we were alone before I spoke in low tones. “But you’ll never guess, Jack. It’s insane. It’s totally impossible to imagine. And if I told you, you’d never believe me.”

 

“I’ll figure it out,” he promised. “And you’d be surprised what I’d believe,” he added at last.

 

**WE DROVE BACK TO MY FLAT** and once there Jack insisted on carrying my suitcase in for me. He flirted outrageously and with a cheeky grin, he brought the bag into my bedroom. I may have mocked his transparency with one or more brow lifts.  “What?” he asked indignantly. “Isn’t this where your clothes belong?” He was all innocence.

 

“Yes, Jack. My clothes do belong in my bedroom.” I sighed and rolled my eyes dramatically. “I’m sure your thoroughness has nothing to do with my bed being here at all.”

 

He gasped and a poor approximation of horror colored his face. “What? Me? I would never!” he insisted.

 

I just shook my head as I wandered out the door.

 

He followed speedily snickering behind me. “Just to prove it to you…” he added mischievously, “I’ll stay out here, in the living room, **_far far_** away from your bed.” He dropped down on the sofa, his arm draped over the back, legs spread wide and a thousand megawatt grin lit up his face.

 

“Do I need to call Tosh, Jack? Do you need a chaperone?” I taunted dangerously. First, he scowled, then he fluttered his eyelashes at me and finally he stuck out his bottom lip slightly. _Oh curses_ , I thought. _Why does he have to be so damn sexy_?

 

I joined him on the sofa for a drink and a movie. I’d had a long day full of travel and subterfuge; within a half hour, I was leaning heavily against Jack. Ten minutes after that and I was using his lap as a pillow. I just couldn’t keep my body upright. I curled up on my side and snuggled into his thighs, trying to get more comfortable. He seemed uneasy and fidgety, unable to sit still.

 

“Is this alright, Jack? Do you want me to move?” I asked lazily.

 

He looked down at me to respond but what he saw stopped him short, my hair in disarray, eyes heavy-lidded, skin flushed and lips stained with wine. He growled and rolled me onto my back. He leaned down, caught my bottom lip between his teeth. After one quick nip, he sank in, drew me close and we spiraled together into the deep steamy depths of lust and need. My initial reticence slid away quickly and my body woke to the taste of him. Time stood still and I was lost.

 

He yanked my shirt over my head and let it fly through the air as he lowered his head, with a hint of teeth, to my neck. I arched my head to the side, urging him on. There was a power building here, grown from need and longing, it sparked and burned wherever he touched.

 

Strong, determined hands gripped me and our bodies collided roughly.  The surge I felt only made me realize how much I’d missed his touch. We’d been apart for too long. We had something, when we were together, something that couldn’t exist otherwise.

 

With our bodies melded together, I could feel his emotions if I focussed hard enough and they erupted, poured forth in a tidal wave that engulfed us both. There was lust and need and want. And there was something else entirely. _Love_ , I fancied, _it might be love after all_.

 

I could take it. I could take it all. I’d take anything he’d give me—a handful of silken hair—a ripple of muscle—as I finally dragged off his shirt. I could feel the pounding of his heart and I knew as we fell to the floor we’d both come out on top at the end of this little battle.

 

He made me chuckle and then he made me gasp as skin slid against skin, finally barrier free. His eager touch made my blood boil and my skin tingle. And when he wrapped his strong, warm body around me, found and captured my mouth I could taste the torrent of lust and love and longing.

 

So intoxicating, so strong, those magnificent pheromones. His body moved under mine then over, so agile and quick and his scent surrounded me. His mouth hummed and his hands swept over me drowning me in sensation. With slick fingers, he teased and tormented until I begged and pleaded for more. My pulse thrummed loudly in my ears as he filled me. I heard him promise that he’d drive me up and over until I broke apart and lost control. He was unrelenting as he rode along with me, up and down. “Oh yes!” He shouted hoarsely. “So hot,” he gasped. “So tight,” he moaned.

 

My body stretched taut as a bow as he begged me to break with him. I opened myself for him as I never had before; I gave him all of me—mind, body and soul. We rose and fell together in a brutal rhythm until our pleasure peaked and we couldn’t take another drop. I chanted his name as I fell apart in his arms. We finally broke and when the rush came, it washed us away, leaving our bodies limp and sated.

 

Curled against him, warm, naked and replete, it occurred to me that Tosh would surely give us an earful about rushing into a physical relationship. I sighed and mumbled, “Tosh is gonna kill us.”

 

He groaned and pulled me tighter. “You’ll defend me, won’t you?” He spoke into my ear, his voice rumbled through me, warm and blissfully relaxed.

 

“We’ll defend each other, Jack.” I still felt a strong emotional connection, felt his emotions running wild. I wondered if he felt it too.

 

“Yep,” he agreed, a smile in his voice. “We’ll take care of each other.”

 

**I WOKE THE NEXT MORNING GROGGY-EYED AND WARM** with strong arms wrapped around my body. My head was cradled between his bicep and the crook of his arm. The hand at the other end of my pillow gripped my shoulder lightly.  His other arm had snaked over my waist and was pressed flat up against my chest. It was hard to tell where my body ended and his began.

 

My back felt like it’d been warmed in an Easy-Bake-Oven over night. His breath was slow and even as it tickled the back of my neck but the chances of him actually being asleep when I wasn’t were slim to none. Whether he was awake was debatable but certain parts of his body were definitely awake and ready to… greet the day.

 

He must have heard the ticking of my mind because he mumbled “ _Mm’ning,_ ” into the back of my neck. His breath ruffled wisps and left tingles in its wake. He nuzzled into the base of my spine running his nose and lips over a small yet incredibly sensitive patch of skin. A tremble shuttered through my body in response and I sighed without realizing it.

 

“Good morning, Jack,” I groaned back. I’d inadvertently wiggled and lodged myself even tighter into his spooning form.

 

“I missed you,” he murmured, “You were gone such a long time.”

 

_It was an eternity_ , I thought, _and you have no idea what I’ve gone through to get back into your arms_. Aloud I said, “It was only a week.”

 

“Long enough,” he insisted and hugged me even tighter.

 

I sighed, “Ya, your right. Long enough.”

 

With his arms wrapped around me, I felt safe and I let my mind wander aimlessly _. Even now_ , _after all this time,_ I thought, _his touch, his breath, the stroke of his voice, could melt my insides and set me on fire._ He was _the one_ , my body knew it and so did my heart. But the million-dollar question was, was he ready to be my Jack?

 

**_Continued in… 13 – The End is Nigh?_ **

 

 

 


	13. The End is Nigh?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ianto’s New Timeline:  December 23, 2005 (3rd month at TW)
> 
> Ianto comes back from his trip and things get messy.

DECEMBER 23, 2005

 **WE WALKED INTO THE HUB TOGETHER** , hand in hand, our arms swinging foolishly between us. Jack’s blue eyes glittered when they met mine. We were making a bold statement and we both knew it. It wasn’t just a fling, a secret part-time shag or a friends-with-benefits situation this was the start of something real. I didn’t even try to untangle our entwined fingers, not even when Tosh and Owen stared open-mouthed and silent. I smiled at them a little shyly as we walked past. I headed straight for the kitchen as I usually did and told him I’d make us some coffee but he still wouldn’t let go of my hand. “I’ll need that back if you want a cup of coffee, **_Sir_**.” I told him, tongue in cheek.

 

Jack smirked at that and reluctantly let go. Then he winked playfully and darted in for a quick kiss before he strode off to his office. He had a bounce in his step and whistled while he made his way up the stairs.

 

Then as if by magic, both Tosh and Owen appeared by my side in a flash. “Ianto.” Came Tosh’s sing-song voice. I could hear the grin without looking up.

 

I busied myself with the coffee and stubbornly avoided their eyes. “Tosh. Owen. Coffee?” I asked politely.

 

“God—Yes!” exclaimed Owen. “Glad you’re back,” he added. “You wouldn’t believe the sludge we’ve had to drink while you’ve been off gallivanting around London. Jack’s brew is absolute shite—”

 

“—That was quite an entrance! So… spill.” Tosh interjected, obviously unable to contain herself a moment longer.

 

“I have to admit. I’m with Tosh. Spill it. What’s up with you two? I thought—”  

 

Tosh interrupted again. “—Shhh. Let him tell it.”

 

I raised my eyebrows, a little taken aback by her snappiness. Judging from Tosh’s determined stance ‘spilling’ would be inevitable so I resigned myself to that fact and cleared my throat.

 

“Stop stalling. Get on with it.” Owen prodded mercilessly.

 

“Well…” I began, “We’re…” I rolled my eyes. I had no idea how to explain this. “We’re seeing each other?” I shrugged.

 

They looked at each other meaningfully. “I told you.” Owen gloated and held out his right hand palm-up.

 

“Shit!” exclaimed Tosh. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a wad of cash. She slapped a crumpled twenty into his hand and scowled. She looked at me accusingly and protested, “You couldn’t wait—like a day?” She shook her head and her almond eyes narrowed in disgust.

 

“You bet… on us?” I was shocked but I shouldn’t have been. Whom was I kidding? “What was the bet?” I asked Owen.

 

He smiled, quite pleased with himself. “I bet Tosh a twenty you two’d shag before you even got in this morning.”

 

“You what?!” I screeched.

 

“You did, did you?” Jack added his two cents from up above. He’d been standing at the railing, listening unseen.

 

Tosh’s hands flew to her face in guilty horror and my entire upper body went a striking florid hue. I groaned in embarrassment as quietly as I could. Owen flinched slightly and bit the inside of his cheek. Slyly, he looked up at Jack. I imagine he was trying to gage his mood from the expression on his face. I had my back to Jack but judging from Owen’s reaction it wasn’t good.

 

Jack focussed his steely gaze laser beam sharp and burnt a hole between Owen’s eyes. “Do we need to have a chat Owen?” Jack’s meaning was clear. His voice held a dangerous edge.

 

“No. I don’t think so.” He answered tentatively, hopefully.

 

I knew Jack’s eyes had settled upon my back. Without turning, I shook my head subtly side-to-side to tell him it was okay, then thankfully, I heard his relieved outward breath. Jack looked from Owen to me pointedly, raised a brow and threw in a stern chin point my way for good measure. I heard him push off from the rail and stomp back to his office, the door _snicked_ shut behind him.

 

“Shit. Sorry Ianto. I didn’t mean to embarrass you like that.” Owen apologized quietly with downcast eyes.

 

I sighed and nodded. “It’s alright mate. I just wish _he_ hadn’t heard that.”

 

“You and me both,” he concurred ruefully. He looked genuinely sorry for being a prat and it was refreshing. He waited a few seconds before continuing. “He’s been whinging all week.” Owen confided conspiratorially, just above a whisper. 

 

“How do you mean?” I passed Tosh her mug and then him. She smiled and murmured her thanks.

 

“Well, the first day he just went on about how much he missed your coffee every ten minutes or so.” Their eyes met and they shared a meaningful look. “After that, he started coming down here to sit in your blooming chair. He just sat there and kind of… sniffed your desk.” Shock and disbelief sent my eyes wide and I searched his for any trace of dishonesty. He nodded and tried to convey the depth of his suffering by assuming a martyrs stance, arms wide in humble supplication. Tosh drew my attention back to her with a snort and burst of chortling.

 

“Oh ya, that was fun,” added Tosh sarcastically. “He is such a pain in the ass when he hovers.”

 

“I know. I was tripping over him all day,” Owen said in disgust. “Let’s just say… after the fifth day he was unbearable.” In unison, they made a face of knowing pity.

 

Tosh shook her head in mild chagrin. She couldn’t get over what an ass-can Jack had been while I was away. She took a sip of coffee and let out a slightly filthy moan in appreciation. “Oh that is so good.” She couldn’t remember when she’d become so reliant on my coffee. She supposed it was irrelevant because she was addicted now good and proper.

 

Owen chuckled. “I have to admit,” he said between sips, “I missed you too… and not just for your coffee. Haven’t had a decent conversation since you left. Between these two it’s either techno-talk or those unending-alien-anecdotes.” He grinned and added, “But it is bloody fantastic.” He hugged his mug and sighed.

 

Tosh filled the lull by changing the subject. “So how was your trip?” She could barely restrain her curiosity.

 

I took a sip, stalling. “Very… informative.” I answered evasively. “Hopefully, I’ll be able to fill you both in soon,” I added.  A look passed between them but they remained silent. “Well, I’ll see you both in a few.” I picked up our mug’s and headed up to his office. I knocked, waited for his “Enter” and then slipped in.

 

 **HE STOOD UP AS SOON AS HE SAW ME.** I handed him his mug, which he took gratefully. He took a good long pull, closed his eyes, then moaned a little louder and a whole lot filthier than Tosh did, sending jolts of lust straight for my groin. Then he set the mug down on his desk. He took mine as well leaving my hands free. He stepped in close and hugged me, slotting our bodies together. “I’m sorry about that.” He apologized quietly. “I hope you’re not too uncomfortable?” he ventured. “You know… about us walking in together. About them knowing?” He was worried about my reaction, worried that I’d freak-out, bolt or change my mind.

 

I shook my head and smiled reassuringly. “Nah, it’s okay, Jack. Just a bit embarrassed about their bet, is all.” I snuggled closer.

 

His eyes darkened and narrowed at the mention of the bet but he looked relieved by my reaction. He leaned close, a hair’s breadth away. “Good.” He licked his lips. “Because I have no intention of hiding my affection for you.” I smiled, his declaration made my heart sing. I gave in to impulse and kissed him gently. My lips brushed his, warm breath ghosted lightly over his soft lips. Our physical contact had a rather rewarding side effect; his mind opened up to mine once more.

 

I hadn’t been certain at first. To be fair, I thought maybe I’d just imagined it in in the throes of passion. But now I was. I could feel his emotions if they were strong enough, especially if we were touching. Suddenly, I felt a little guilty. I hadn’t told him yet. But how exactly does one broach the subject? By the way Jack, I can sense your emotions. _A bit direct_ , I thought. Excuse me Jack… I seem to have developed a touch of empathy. _Too ridiculous for words,_ I scoffed.

 

He pulled back from the kiss just then. He must have felt me tense. He looked concerned and a bit hesitant. _I wonder… does he feel it too?_ I considered the ramifications of that.

 

“You all right?” he asked. He checked my eyes, looking for a sign.

 

I nodded and smiled. He didn’t look all that convinced but we had work to do. Within a heartbeat, we’d switched out of _madly-desperately-wanting-you-naked_ mode and into _problem-solving-saving-the-world_ mode. We’re Torchwood; that’s what we do.

 

He motioned to the chair opposite his. “Tell me more about your research” He sat at attention and waited for the rest of my story.

 

I considered the crux of our problem. “We need to develop a device Jack.” I took out the rest of my notes and mentally prepared my argument. “The others don’t need to know about your involvement but we do need their help to build this thing.” I wasn’t even sure if we would be able to whip this one up. It was a doozy. “This is one of those _most-important-moments-of-your-life_ type things and we need all the help we can get.”

 

I saw through his poorly constructed façade and terror boiled beneath. Having to tell them would be horrible enough but _them finding out_ … that would be way worse. He was so ashamed of his involvement. He’d been a different man back then, cold, angry and apathetic. He didn’t want to dredge up that person and all the things he did. “I know what you’re saying. And I agree. We’ll need them. Especially Tosh. But I just can’t… not yet. Please… give me some more time.” He sounded raw, exposed and afraid.

 

I nodded. I didn’t push. I knew he’d come around. _Time_ , I thought, _we have a little more_. I moved on to the next point. “And we need to find him.” I pointed to the photo clipped to the front flap of the file folder. “I think Clem McDonald is the key to finding the right frequency.”

 

He stared at the photo closely. His eyes narrowed, flicked up and I could see him trying to steady himself. The photo, taken in 1965, had faded somewhat but he recognized the little boy looking back at him. In those eyes, that face, Jack saw his nightmare come to life. They’d taken their photos _for the record_. When I first found it, I’d cried. I knew this would absolutely kill Jack, seeing their faces again but I felt Clem McDonald was the key to everything.

 

White lipped, Jack held the photo between his fingertips gingerly, as if it were a livewire. “What do you mean? He’s the key to what?” Pain distorted his voice.

 

I gasped, realized belatedly; I’d forgotten an essential piece of information. “Clem McDonald is alive,” I said quickly, “Here on Earth. He got left behind somehow. He… he didn’t keep up with the group and I guess he didn’t make it to the transport site in time.” I explained in concerned measured tones. He was growing intensely pale. This was a blow, as I knew it would be.

 

“I remember him.” He whispered and carefully put the photo down on his desk. “ _Oh_ ,” he lamented, “I remember him. He’s in my nightmares. He was so scared.” His voice caught and a single tear erupted and poured down his cheek.

 

I saw his pain, knew it was great but I couldn’t relent—not on this. “They’re coming back and next time they’ll want more than we can give. The consequences are grimmer than anything even you can possibly imagine. Let me do this Jack; let me save us. I need your help.” I pleaded for our lives.

 

“How soon?” He struggled to get the words out.

 

“We have some time.” I told him solemnly. “If we start now we might be ready in time.”

 

.

 **AFTER LUNCH, I SAUNTERED INTO JACK’S OFFICE** and saw he was still working on that heinous pile of overdue paperwork from last week. The look of relief was so intense when he saw me I had to laugh. “Oh thank goodness! Ianto, what do you need? Please say you need something… anything that’ll take me far, far away from here.” He pleaded pathetically. He hated paper work more than anything.

 

I smiled gamely. “Just a quick question.” I tried for casual. “Do you have any close friends or family with an A-Positive blood type?” Apparently, I totally suck at casual.

 

He looked back at me, his expression completely blank. Jack was suspicious by nature and it was a hard habit to break. For him it was an extremely personal question. He suspected I was asking about his daughter or grandson so instead of answering he kept silent and focussed on schooling his face.

 

It wasn’t the reaction I’d feared or even hoped for so I changed tactics. I closed the door and stood before his desk with my hands in my pockets. “I’m serious. It’s important Jack.” That phrase had become a code of sorts. It was my way of letting him know it was ‘one of those situations’ and this information might just save a life.

 

He sighed loudly. “Christmas is going to be busy.” He echoed my words from a few weeks ago back at me. “I was waiting for the other shoe to drop.” He muttered with annoyance.

 

“It’s not **_my_** fault!” I protested. “Don’t look at **_me_** like it’s **_my doing_**!” I was getting frustrated and it was slipping out into my conversations with the team.

 

Jack flinched and leaned back, his face relaxed. “Sorry. Of course. I was mostly joking,” he added quickly.

 

I spun around, stood at the window overlooking the hub, took a deep steadying breath. _Calm down,_ I told myself sternly. _You’re being a dick._ I apologized without turning. “Sorry Jack. Just tired. And seriously frustrated.” It had been a long week and it certainly wasn’t over with yet. I’d really wanted to spend Christmas at Rhi’s but chances of that happening were slim to none this year.

 

He stood up and crossed the room in a few steps. He ran his hands up my arms soothingly. “I’m not A-Positive and neither is anyone in my… _family_.” He very nearly whispered the last word and I almost spun around in shock. I really hadn’t expected him to share his family with me at this point in our relationship. He’d always been so protective of that particular secret. I held my peace as I held my breath. I nodded. “How about close friends? Someone you’d like to protect from danger?”

 

He turned me around, his hands gripping my arms still.

 

 **TOSH LOOKED UP AT JACK’S OFFICE**. She saw me standing at the window looking down over the hub; my face was tense and afraid. She watched as he turned me around and forced me to look at him. His face was stern, worried and it made her stomach clench. “Oh, shit.” She uttered loudly. She immediately started a search through media feeds worldwide looking for signs of some sort of imminent disaster.

 

Owen raised his head when he heard Tosh swear. “What is it Tosh?” He walked over to her quickly and placed a hand on her shoulder. He bent down and looked closely at her computer screen trying to figure out what was causing her distress.

 

“Look up, at them.” She motioned towards Jack’s office with her head, her hands never stopping their frantic typing. “Never a good sign. That’s Ianto’s ‘the end is nigh’ face.”

 

“Shit. You’re right.” He squeezed her shoulder gently with one hand, lending his mental support. “I’ll get my kit ready.” He dropped his hand and made to turn but hesitated. “Unless… you need my help with anything?”

 

She stopped typing, turned, looked up at him thoughtfully and smiled. “No. Thank you Owen. I haven’t figured it out yet.” Her eyes glittered.

 

“Just let me know, yeah?” He gave her shoulder one last pat then hurried to the med bay.

 

“ **TELL ME** ,” he whispered. “Trust me,” he begged.

Our eyes locked and I leaned forward. We met somewhere in the middle and the room, the Universe disappeared. His mouth was hot and wet, his tongue demanding. His hands slid up to my face; he caressed my cheek and then held me gently. I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him closer still. My only thought was _closer, I need to be closer_. My hands raked over his muscled back and continued downward until they gripped his arse then I ground his groin up against mine. The friction was delicious and he moaned into my mouth.

 

 **OWEN SAUNTERED BACK TO TOSH’S WORKSTATION WITH PURPOSE**. “Come on Tosh. You look too stressed. Let’s just ask them. I’m tired of always being in the dark.”

 

She jutted out her chin and nodded in agreement. She was damn tired of it too. “Damn right. Let’s go.” She slammed her chair under her desk with a little too much force causing her to flinch at the loud noise. She snickered and so did Owen.

 

They were storming up the stairs, confrontation the only thing on their minds. “Do you want to do the talking or should I?” Owen asked under his breath.

 

“Maybe you…” She stopped mid-step, mid-word, dead in her tracks. “Oh… my...” The sight made her blush and heated her skin but her eyes were locked; she couldn’t look away.

 

“Fackin’ ‘ell,” uttered Owen. He too was surprised and unable (or unwilling) to look away.

 

“They look busy.” Tosh managed, just barely to contain the sudden spike of lust and keep it out of her voice.

 

Owen cleared his throat and became keenly aware of Tosh’s nearness.

 

They stood there, frozen, eyes locked on the steamy scene before them, their arousal building steadily.

 

“Christ… I’m gonna need a cold shower.” Owen muttered and chanced a glance at Tosh. “Or a shag,” he added more quietly. His eyes raked over her body, they greedily tracked her every curve. Lately, he’d started seeing her in a different light.

 

She caught him staring and blushed a deeper shade of lust. _Well_ , she thought, _either we break them up now… or we end up having an orgy. Not a bad idea_ , she mused. _End of the world Tosh_ , she reminded herself. _Not the time. Damn,_ was her last thought before she opened the door to Jack’s office and loudly cleared her throat. The moment she entered his office she was hit by a wave of Jack’s pheromones. _No wonder_ , she thought. _My mind is getting completely muddled even from smelling second-hand-Jack. No wonder he has them falling at his feet_. Nervously, she cleared her throat again, more loudly. We hadn’t even noticed her yet. “Uhm, guys. Is something happening? You know like the end of the world?” Owen stood, silent and more than a little aroused at her side.

 

Her voice broke through our lusty fog and I nearly fell over trying to collect myself. “Oh, shit.” I uttered the curse a little too loudly. _Oh, that’s just perfect_ , I thought, _Owen and Tosh. Just perfect_. “Uhm… sorry.” I was flustered and embarrassed and Jack just stood there, leaning up against the window like nothing had happened. He still had his sex-face on and it certainly wasn’t helping matters any. I had to force myself to look away from his gale-force-seduction-eyes. Owen and Tosh were standing in the doorway. Strangely enough, neither one was smiling (mocking) as I’d expected them to be. They did however look like they’d enjoyed the show, perhaps a little too much for my tastes.

 

“Man, it smells good in here,” exclaimed Owen. He frowned, startled that he’d said that aloud. He shook his head, spun on his heels and abandoned Tosh to her fate. Muttering, he made his way down the steps quite quickly and went directly to the washroom.

 

“What is it Tosh?” Jack asked, his eyes still gleaming. “Did you want to join us?” He stood leaning against the wall, hand on hip, an eyebrow flicked high in a way that said he was trying to be alluring. On almost anyone else, that expression would look quite comical.

 

She giggled and blushed some more. “Well…” she began. She shook her head, trying to clear her muddled mind. “Maybe another time.” She looked at me and grinned. Jack smirked and wiggled his eyebrows playfully. She grinned even wider. Then she gathered her wits. “I saw that look Ianto gets. You know… that one he gets when the world is about to end… again.” She looked quickly between us, obviously trying to gauge the likelihood of the world actually ending today.

 

I smiled grimly. _Wow, she’s quick_ , I thought. I nodded to Jack and smiled apologetically. “Let’s use the boardroom okay, Jack?” I suggested. We needed to get out of his office. It was straining my resolve and seriously compromising my ability to produce rational thought. It had already affected Owen and caused him to run away. Tosh was flushed and had a vacant dreamy look on her usually intelligent looking face. I smiled at that thought. She’d be pissed if I said that out loud.

 

We assembled in the boardroom after a few minutes, after everyone’d had a chance to compose themselves. Jack was still grinning like a loon looking quite pleased with himself. He’d enjoyed himself way too much, always the exhibitionist. Owen came in last. He stood on the threshold and tentatively sniffed the air before he entered. He took the seat next to Tosh, which also happened to be the seat furthest from Jack. _He knows about the pheromones_ , I realized. It made sense. He was Jack’s doctor after all.

 

Their eyes turned to Jack looking for answers but he shook his head and looked pointedly at me. Their eyes followed his and their confusion was obvious.

 

I realized that in my haste, I’d checked all my friends and family but I’d forgotten about **_our_** blood types. I kicked myself. “Owen?”

 

“Ya?” he was a little pink around the edges, I noticed. He displayed other signs of arousal as well. He licked his lips and his eyes darted between Jack and me.

 

My eyes went wide when I realized how turned on he was by our… display and he averted his eyes. “Do you know our blood types off hand?” I schooled my voice, all business.

 

Despite his embarrassment, he rattled off our blood types without pause then looked at me and waited for an explanation.

 

I glanced at Tosh and then back to Owen. “Tosh is A-positive? You’re sure?”

.                                                

He nodded and frowned.

 

“Shit.” I swore quietly. I looked at Jack and his eyes narrowed.

 

He looked at her with concern and tensed in anticipation. “What? Just, tell me.” He demanded quickly.

 

I nodded. It was time to come out with it. “We’ll need to sedate Tosh… before Christmas morning.” I told him.

 

“What?” she screeched.

 

“I’m sorry Tosh. It’s just to protect you from harm. Listen, by about midnight on Christmas ‘Eve all hell’s going to break loose.” I loaded my words with as much compassion and concern as I could muster. It had very little effect. She was freaked.  I turned to Jack and asked, “Do you know the Sycorax?”

 

He frowned and nodded. He accessed the files on his wrist-strap and projected the information on the nearby wall screen. Tosh stood up, planted her hands on the table and quickly scanned the information displayed on the screen. As she read, her face fell. She sat back down and whether she meant to or not, she slid her chair closer to Owen’s. Jack hadn’t said a word but he looked nervous. He was reading something on his mini-screen and I guessed it was a bit of information he hadn’t put up on the main screen for everyone else to see.

 

Owen noticed too. He scowled at Jack. “What is it Jack? What aren’t you telling us?” Owen demanded.

 

Jack didn’t hesitate. “They’re pretty violent. Intergalactic thugs. Like to… _colonize_.” He replied with a tight face and a strained voice.

 

Owen flinched and looked at me. “And what do you know?” He asked me with a bit more exasperation.

 

“They use blood control to freak out the masses,” I explained.  Jack nodded as the pieces started slotting into place. “They got a sample from inside the Guinevere One Space Probe we sent out. You know… they put samples in it, minerals, plants and genetic material.” I explained calmly.

 

“That’s… that’s just stupid!” exclaimed Owen. We all nodded. It was like… well… like we (the planet) were just asking for this kind of thing.

 

Jack thought a moment, cursed under his breath. Then he nodded and closed his eyes tightly for just a moment before turning to Tosh. “Tosh, I need you to trust me. Trust Ianto.”

 

She looked from him to me and then back again. The idea that we wanted to sedate her brought only one thing to mind—Suzie. Well maybe two—Suzie and her UNIT cell.

 

I could feel her fear, it was intense. “You don’t have to be afraid Tosh.” I reached for her hand, took it in mine. “I’m just worried about your safety. They have the ability to make people with A-Positive blood do things they don’t want to do.”

 

“Like what?” Jack asked, his voice steady but dangerous. He wanted it spelled out for the team.

 

I paused for a moment. “Like… say… make all the people on Earth with that blood type… climb the nearest building and stand on the edge of the roof.”

 

“Why would they—” Owen started to ask.

 

“—Control,” interrupted Jack. “Do as we say or we make them all jump.” He gave me a questioning look. “Something like that?”

 

I nodded. “Yep. Something like that,” I agreed.

 

Jack wanted to ask. He wanted desperately to ask. But he sure as hell couldn’t ask in front of Owen and Tosh. _How the hell can you know that Ianto!?_ He’d need to wait until we were alone.

 

“About thirty-six hours then?” He wanted to clarify. Jack didn’t want to wait too long.

 

“Thirty-two until they make contact and their demands. And they’ll probably use their blood control technology by 6 AM at the latest.” I corrected. I felt better erring on the side of caution.

 

Jack nodded. His mind was reeling. He couldn’t for the life of him, think how we’d thwart the Sycorax. We just didn’t have the firepower. We had no orbital defenses. We were sitting ducks—the lot of us.

 

Jack spent the good part of an hour in his office on the phone. He had a contact at UNIT and another at Torchwood One. They hadn’t heard anything.

 

Then he called Tosh and me up to his office. “I need you and Tosh in the archives,” he told us. “Go over the list of alien weapons we have in storage. See if you can find something useful.”

 

Owen knocked on the door just as we were finishing up. “Anything new?” He looked at us hopefully.

 

Jack shook his head. “No, nothing.” He looked pointedly at us and we nodded.

 

“We’ll get started.” Tosh and I went down into the archives and tried to find something that could save the planet.

 

Jack waved Owen into his office, motioned towards the chair. “Owen, let’s talk sedatives. Do you have something that won’t do her any damage?

 

“Sure. I can set something relatively safe up. Not for long-term-use mind you.” Owen was flipping through his mental catalogue of medical supplies both Earth and alien varieties.

 

“What about physical restraints?” Jack added. “Do we have those? Something that won’t hurt her?” He was concerned for Tosh’s safety, we all were.

 

“Ya, sure.” Owen was preparing the necessary elements in his head.

 

It was growing late and we were out of ideas and running out of resources. Tosh and Owen had gone home after fruitless hours of searching and planning. Jack was pacing the walls. When I finally found him, he was in the green house. He turned to me, looking extremely uncomfortable. “What about the Doctor,” he whispered. He hated having to ask me.

 

“I was just about to say the same thing, Jack.” I smiled and caressed his back. “I’ll give his number a try.” I hit speed dial 42 and waited. He didn’t answer. I waited twenty minutes and tried again, still no answer. “He must be busy.”

 

Jack shrugged and sighed loudly. He was frustrated, feeling useless and at a loss for ideas. “Keep trying, okay?” he asked.

 

“Of course.” I agreed happily.

 

“In the meantime,” he said while reaching for my hand. “Let’s grab dinner.” We walked out together and found a nearby pub. Over dinner, Jack lingered over his food and nursed his pint but said very little. He appeared thoughtful, like something was on his mind but he was hesitant.

 

I was ready to pack it in but I didn’t want to leave without Jack. “Do you want to come back to mine Jack?” I offered tentatively. I didn’t know if he wanted to be away from the hub tonight.

 

“Thank you. I’d love to.” He jumped at the offer. “I’m glad you asked.” A smile crept onto his face. “Actually, I was hoping you would.” He confessed a little guiltily.

 

“I wasn’t sure,” I admitted. “Thought you might want to be at the hub tonight… just in case.”

 

He looked surprised. “Do we need to? Do you think we should?” he asked in quick succession.

 

I stopped him before he could wind himself up any tighter. “No, no Jack. We can’t do anything else tonight.” I smiled, reassured him. “Let’s get some time away while we can.” I added, “I need some time away.” I sighed heavily.

 

“Do you mean by yourself?” he asked uncertainly.

 

“No, not at all. I mean with you.” I clarified. He smiled brightly at that. We went home and slipped into bed with very little preamble.

 

“Wanna finish what we started in my office?” He offered, his voice silky smooth and full of promise.

 

“I kind of forgot where we were at the time, to tell the truth.” I chuckled remembering the looks on both Owen and Tosh’s faces.

 

“I think Tosh might’ve joined us… if Owen weren’t there and… you know… no end of the world.” He said between nips and nibbles on my earlobe.

 

“Well, I can’t blame her. We’re ridiculously hot.” I told him between gasps.

 

“Remind me to pursue that at a later time,” he murmured lazily against my collarbone. That was the last coherent thought he had.  Over the next few hours, I did my very best to help Jack loose himself in sensation. For a time, we forget about our messy little Torchwood ridden lives.

 

 

**_Continued in… 14 – Last Man Standing_ **

 

 


	14. Last Man Standing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ianto’s New Timeline:  December 24, 2005 (3rd month)
> 
> Warnings/spoilers/content: spoilers for DW1.13-The Parting of the Ways, smexiness [slashy-romance-novel-smut], profanity, some violence and death 
> 
> Everything is happening now, somewhere.

 

“Everything is happening now, somewhere.”

_—unknown_

DECEMBER 24, 2005

 **OWEN PUT A PROTECTIVE HAND ON HER SHOULDER**. He angled his body between her and me defensively. He’d become more protective of her over the last few days. I noticed that they’d come in at the same time this morning. Apparently, Owen had picked her up on his way over.

I tried to reassure him but he was confused and suspicious. “Don’t worry Owen. She’ll be all right as long as we keep her in the hub. We just have to keep her from hurting herself.” I should have been more focussed on Tosh. Her mouth dropped, forming a silent ‘O’.

Jack mirrored Owen’s protective touch and looked deeply into her eyes. He tried to reassure her but it came across sounding rather hollow to him. “It’ll be all right Tosh. Just follow Ianto. It’s all right. Go on.” She did her best to let him sooth her. He prodded her gently and then followed close behind. Then they all followed me down to the Med Bay.

I immediately started pulling out supplies. “We need some padded restraints,” I declared. From the look on her face, Tosh was getting more anxious by the second.

“Those padded Velcro ones? Would they do?” asked Owen, who had fully engaged _the-problem-solving-doctor_ mode.

“Yep. Perfect. But we need something for her torso as well, to reduce the strain on her wrists and ankles.”

Tosh was looking frantically between Owen and me. She blanched when we began discussing the finer points of restraining her. “Tell me again. Why do I need to be restrained Ianto?”

 

“ **THIS IS EMERGENCY PROGRAMME ONE** ,” the familiar face declared. “Rose, now listen, this is important. If this message is activated, then it can only mean one thing.” Rose stared, wide-eyed as the holographic image of the Doctor explained what had happened. “We must be in danger. And I mean fatal. I'm dead or about to die any second with no chance of escape.”

Rose lunged forwards and shouted uselessly at the Doctor’s holo-image, “No!” Adrenalin left her delicate skin flushed and blotchy, her eyes were brighter than normal and her long blond hair lay in complete disarray.

The Doctor smiled, his kind eyes twinkled. “And that's okay. Hope it's a good death.” He said a little too cheerfully. He’d lived for 900 years, more than most and a large part of him was ready to die.

Rose stopped mid-stride at the top of the ramp and continued to stare at him in disbelief.

The Doctor looked off into the distance and the recorded message continued. “But I promised to look after you, and that's what I'm doing. The TARDIS is taking you home.” This left the real Doctor stranded on Satelite-5 in the year 200100.

Rose’s resolve stiffened and she vowed vehemently, “I won't let you.” She would find a way back to him. The Doctor was waiting for her.

 

 **I CALLED RHI RIGHT AFTER LUNCH**. I felt absolutely terrible that I had to cancel our Christmas ‘Eve plans. I had hoped I would be able to spend it with them, Sycorax invasion fleet notwithstanding. Only I hadn’t counted on Tosh having an A-Positive blood type. “Oh, Rhi I’ve got terrible news. Can’t make it for Christmas ‘Eve. I’m really sorry.”

She moaned and said what a shame but after a short pause, she made an insightful comment. “You sound really disappointed, Yan.”

I sighed heavily. “I am. I was so excited. I thought I had it all worked out, you know?”

She’d been excited too. “I know you were looking forward to it this year, luv. It must be important if you have to cancel.”

I nodded to myself. “Things are really heating up Rhi. Make sure everyone stays home tonight, ya?”

She answered quickly. “Okay.” Then her curiosity got the better of her. “Dare I ask?”

I grimaced, glad she couldn’t see my face. “No–best not.” I told her cryptically.

There were two people outside of Torchwood that I could count on to take me at my word: my sister and the Inspector. Between the two of them, they’d pretty much seen all of my weirdness and it no longer (usually) fazed them. “Alright Ianto. Call me when you can. I love you.”

I sighed in relief. “I love you too. Be careful.”

“I will, I promise.” She answered resolutely.

My second call would be a little trickier. I’d promised him a revelation and I had every intention of delivering. He answered on the third ring as gruffly as ever. “Well a Happy Christmas to you too!” I replied cheerfully.

He grunted, unimpressed with such hollow niceties. He never was one for Christmas cheer plus he was still a bit pissed off at me. “Don’t you have work to do?” he demanded.

I chuckled. He was such a grumpy old bastard sometimes. “Nope. No work here. We’re all on vacation. Been off for weeks.” I was trying to get a rise out of him but he wouldn’t bite.

He guffawed a little and I was satisfied with that. “Bullshit.” He said finally.

“I need to see you. I have to give you something. Can I meet you sometime this afternoon?” I’d written him a short letter outlining tonight’s events. I thought a written record might be received better than a long cumbersome explanation.

“What’s this about?” he asked suspiciously.

“Remember that promise I made to you about sharing some of my secrets?” I didn’t want to get into this on the phone but he was such a curious fellow.

At first, he responded with silence. “How about two o’clock?” He paused, then added a location. “In the park, by the Precinct where we used to have lunch.” His words were clipped. He sounded concerned.

“Sounds great. I’ll see you at two.” I didn’t like the tension in his voice. “Inspector, don’t worry. It’ll be okay.”

“Hmmm,” was his only reply, which made me laugh. He hung up after a quick, “See you later.”

 

 **THE DOCTOR SAT HUNCHED OVER LOOKING UTTERLY DEFEATED** as he peered into the screen at Jack. “Do you see, Jack?” He looked at him, his eyes searching for understanding. “That's the decision I've got to make for every living thing. Die as a Human or live as a Dalek.” He pleaded for an answer, looking completely helpless. “What would you do?”

Jack met his gaze bravely. “You sent her home. She's safe.” He nodded firmly. “Keep working,” he insisted. Jack would stay with him until the bitter end.

Emperor Dalek recoiled in disbelief and screeched loudly. “But he will exterminate you!”

Jack replied with his trademark Harkness grin. “Never doubted him, never will.”

 

“ **MARVIN? JACK. I NEED A FAVOR**.” Tosh glanced at Jack. He was listening to Marvin. “Ya…” He chuckled. “You could say that.” He looked up and grinned at Tosh. “I’ve caught wind of something going down tonight.” Marvin laughed then asked a question. “No, something non-terrestrial.” He paused and smiled at Tosh who was now pacing across his smallish office. She’d developed a good strong rhythm, her strides were determined. “Yep,” he answered. He paused while Marvin asked another question. “Just some legwork. Can I call you if I need you?” He flicked the end of his pen rapidly against the top of his desk. “Oh believe me, you’ll know when it’s time.” He laughed again as Marvin made a snarky remark. “Well past midnight my friend and into the day–probably all day–tomorrow.” Marvin agreed to Jack’s request for help and Jack thanked him graciously. Tosh stopped pacing as Jack hung up the phone.

She turned to him and asked, “Who’s Marvin? Have I met him?” She needed a distraction, any distraction would do.

“An old friend. On contract with Torchwood One. Did some work for me in the past.” His eyes narrowed as he considered. “You’d probably hate him.” He smiled at her surprise. “He’s loud and pushy.” Jack grinned as he told her.

She snorted. “No wonder you two get along.” She retorted quickly, without much thought. Then her eyes went wide as she realized what she’d said. “Sorry. Didn’t mean it like that, Jack,” she said apologetically.

He waved her off. “No worries, Tosh. I’m not harboring any illusions. I know I can be loud and pushy on occasion.” He chuckled at his obvious understatement. She grinned and rolled her eyes in reply. They were interrupted by the ringing of his landline. Jack picked up after two rings and he smiled when he heard my voice.

Jack?” I called.  

“Ianto?” He retorted playfully.

“I’ve got to step out for an hour or so.” I told him. I was trying to sound light, unaffected.

“Everything alright?” He asked quickly. He sounded more than a little curious.  

“Yep. Just meeting the Inspector for a quick coffee.” I explained.

“Hmmm,” Jack mused, sounding a little suspicious. His gut told him something more was going on. “Do you need backup?” He asked after a moment.

“Nope,” I laughed. “Not necessary. It’s just coffee and a chat,” I told him seriously.

“Come up here and give me a kiss before you go.” He asked in a syrupy voice. I heard a ring of amusement jingle between the words. Little did I know, Tosh was standing stock-still mid-pace staring at Jack. Her hands had flown to her mouth in an effort to hold the bubbling squeal inside.

“Jack? Are you alone?” I asked, fearing the worst.

He chuckled. “Not exactly,” he admitted reluctantly.

I pursed my lips in consternation. “Am I on speaker phone?”

He chuckled again and raised his eyebrows playfully at Tosh. “Say hi Tosh.” He chimed. She shook her head side-to-side frantically.

I sighed and rolled my eyes in annoyance. “See you later, Jack.” I said, trying to sound annoyed but I’m a terrible actor so it wasn’t very convincing.

I got there a few minutes early so I used the time to try the Doctor’s number again. Still no answer. I sat on the top of a picnic table, my feet on the bench and waited for the Inspector to show. The sun was trying to break through the clouds but it only managed to produce a nasty glare. It wasn’t exactly cold but the air felt chilly in the shade. I’d brought a thermos of coffee and a bag of our favorite pastries as a peace offering. I hated being in the doghouse. The Inspector really knew how to make a person feel like a shit. I was hoping he’d let up sooner rather than later. I needed my friend.

He sauntered across the yellowed grass. He’d brought a bag as well. He wore a grim frown but that wasn’t anything knew. He smiled as he got nearer and I was relieved. He plopped himself down on the picnic table beside me and held out the bag. I peeked inside and smiled at what I saw. He’d brought a bag of cookies, homemade from the looks of it. “Thanks,” I said and reached inside for the cookie on top.

He grunted, acknowledging my gratitude. “Somebody’s wife baked them.” He shrugged. “They’re pretty good.” He took one for himself and popped it into his mouth. “So, what do you have for me?” He got straight to the point.

I’d been gripping the sealed envelope tightly in one hand. I took a deep breath and held it out to him. He titled his head like Lassie and tentatively reached out for the proffered envelope. He flipped it over, looked at both sides. “Should I open it now?” he asked. “While we’re still together?” he added after a beat.

I shrugged. Told him, “It’s up to you.” I was undecided.

He tore it open and the scowl returned as he read. He looked up at me when he was finished and there on his face I saw surprise and awe. It certainly wasn’t what I was expecting. I was counting on disbelief and mockery. “What is this?” he asked finally.

“It’s an example of a secret that isn’t mine to tell. It won’t be a secret for long so I thought it wouldn’t hurt.” I’d thought long and hard about what I was going to say. He needed to know this wasn’t an isolated incident.

“This sounds…” The Inspector was hesitant.

“Insane?” I suggested helpfully.

 He nodded.

“I know.” I nodded and smiled grimly. “But it’s true. Listen, don’t worry about it right now. Just put it in your pocket and let the day unfold.” It would be best if he approached this like an experiment and remained the thoughtful observer.

“Ahhh… this is why you asked me about my blood type last week, isn’t it?” I nodded in agreement. He looked at the letter in his hand again. “Everyone?” he asked after a moment.

“Yes, everyone who’s A-Positive.” I told him.

“In the whole world?” he asked incredulously.

I nodded.  “I’m afraid so.”

“How?” He just couldn’t imagine the scope of this thing.

I sighed. He waited. “It’s called Blood Control. It’s a form of technology we haven’t seen before. It’s so advanced by our standards that it looks like magic.”

He nodded as I explained and then asked, “Are those people going to die?” Concern and apprehension were at the forefront of his mind.

I laid a hand on his shoulder. “No. they won’t kill them. Some might get hurt or fall down. Mostly, there’ll be minor injuries. But the worst thing is… will be… how afraid people will get.” I could see the fear in his eyes as we spoke and knew it would only increase over the next day. “We can’t stop this from happening. I can’t do anything to change it. They’re too powerful,” I explained. He was frowning, and it was a worried frown not an annoyed one. “Just don’t show this to anyone ya?” I pleaded. “And please destroy it after. Burn it or something.” He nodded in understanding. “We’ll talk more in a few days after all this has passed over okay?” He nodded again but remained quiet and contemplative. We sat there a while, ate our cookies and pastries and drank our coffee while the world went on around us completely unaware.

**JACKIE PLEADED WITH CONCERN**. “Oh, Rose. Have something to eat...”

Her voice trembled, her eyes never left the window. “Two hundred thousand years in the future, he's dying, and there's NOTHING I can do!” Rose exclaimed in frustration. 

Jackie, always the optimist, tried to brighten her mood. “Well, like you said—two hundred thousand years—it's way off!” She knew she’d failed miserably when she saw Rose’s face twist in anger. 

Rose finally looked away from the window and stared at her mum. “But it's not! It's now! That fight is happening right now, and he's fighting for us! For the whole planet and I'm just sitting here eating chips!” Rose felt powerless and it made her rage.

Jackie tried to get control over the situation. “Listen to me.” She demanded, her voice laden with the hard-earned power only a mother could wield.

Slowly, Rose turned to face her and reluctantly fell silent.

Now that she had Rose’s attention Jackie continued. “God knows I have hated that man, but right now, I love him—and d'you know why? Because he did the right thing. He sent you back to me,” she proclaimed fervently. She promptly resumed picking at her chips and pointlessly hoped that they’d resolved the matter at hand.

However, Rose couldn’t let it go. She looked at her mum and pleaded desperately. “But what do I do every day, mum? What do I do?” She sobbed. “Get up—catch the bus—go to work—come back home—eat chips and go to bed? Is that it?” She was near her breaking point and she felt so alone. Her mum thought only of her daughter’s safety and Mickey thought only of his girlfriend’s return. But who thought of the rest of the world? Of the Universe? Of him?

Her words hurt Mickey deeply. He retorted coldly, bitterly. “It's what the rest of us do.” 

In ignorance of his pain, Rose shouted back. “But I can't!”

He sneered in anger then demanded, “Why, 'cos you're better than us?”

She was frustrated. He was taking her words as a personal attack. He wasn’t hearing her— couldn’t see _her_ pain. “No, I didn't mean that!” she insisted. She paused and tried to calm herself down. Both Jackie and Mickey sat quietly watching her, waiting for her to settle.

Finally, when Rose continued, her voice was pained and quiet. “But it was... it was a better life,” she explained. “And I—I don't mean all the travelling and... seeing aliens and spaceships and things—that don't matter. The Doctor showed me a better way of living your life.” She met their eyes, spoke earnestly. She turned to Mickey and said, “You know, he showed you too.” She reminded him of their time in the TARDIS. Then she continued more passionately. “That you don't just give up. You don't just let things happen. You make a stand. You say no. You have the guts to do what's right when everyone else just runs away, and I just can't—” She broke off, unable to carry on. She kicked the table leg in frustration and leapt to her feet. Then she ran out of the chip shop in despair leaving Jackie and Mickey glancing at one another in confusion and concern.

 

 **WE ATE PIZZA, COMFORT FOOD FOR MOST**. We sat around the coffee table and munched quietly. Everyone had something on his or her mind. Finally, Jack piped up and asked the question he’d been dying to ask. “What did the Inspector have to say?”

 

I looked up at him, startled out of my silent reverie. “Ahhh…” I shrugged. “Just had a chat. You know. Catching up.” His left eyebrow rose up and challenged my vague answer. Jack held my gaze longer than I could stand and I sighed. “It was a private matter,” I said defensively.

 

Tosh looked between us and understanding dawned. “Did you tell him about the Sycorax?” she asked insightfully. Owen’s eyes went wide and he looked to me for an answer. Jack did the same only with a knowing smile.

 

I grumbled inwardly about _too-clever-friends_ and _nosey-parkers_. “I didn’t use the name but I did explain what was going to happen.” I admitted to the breach in security reluctantly.

 

“Why’d you do that?” asked Owen. He wasn’t being combative just curious.

 

Jack watched intently, obviously wondering the same thing. I was suddenly struck by how different my relationships were with these people. The first time ‘round I’d never have told them the truth. Somehow, it had become all right to do so. I smiled and let out a troubled breath. “I made a promise that I had to keep. You see, I owed him an explanation.” Owen gave me a look that said he clearly _didn’t see_ but he didn’t seem to mind. His smile and subtle nod told me he understood about keeping promises and I appreciated that a great deal. I looked to Tosh hoping for a similar reaction. She too shrugged and smiled. They were pleased by my answers, by the fact that I was actually answering their questions albeit vaguely. I didn’t even dare a glance in Jack’s direction. I was sure he’d ask his questions in private a little later on.

 

Tosh yawned loudly. She leaned back against the sofa and let her eyes slide shut. Owen shifted closer and patted his lap. She thanked him profusely as she curled up next to him on the sofa and settled her head on his lap. He gently stroked her hair trying to sooth her crumbling nerves. Within moments, her body succumbed to exhaustion and she managed to sleep.

Jack patted my knee and whispered, “Come on.” He got up and walked quietly to his office. I followed slowly and tried to think of a good reason for telling the Inspector about the Sycorax. I closed the door behind me and took a seat on the battered two-seater that sat opposite his desk. He sat down beside me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. I closed my eyes and leaned my head into the crook of his neck. “Is he A-Positive too?” Jack asked softly.

“No, he isn’t.” I paused. “I needed to tell him about this, Jack,” I explained. “I’ve been quite secretive about… a lot of things… for a long time.” Jack chuckled and hugged me more tightly. “I needed to trust him with something like this. He was starting to… get frustrated with my secrecy.”

“So… he doesn’t know your secret either?” Jack asked hopefully.

“No. He knows nothing.” I replied.

“Didn’t he ask?”

“How I know, you mean?” He nodded. “No. I think he knows me well enough not to ask.”

“Well, how’d he take it? Will he be needing any Retcon?” Jack asked a little too eagerly.

I smirked and poked him in the side. “He took it fine. Like I said, I’ve known him a long time. We’ve handled a few aliens together. He’s pretty hip. I trust him, Jack.” I told him earnestly.

Jack nodded and hummed in understanding. We sat in silence for a while leaning against each other with our eyes closed. Jack wondered about my secret and I wondered about how the Inspector would react. By seven o’clock, he sent Tosh and Owen home for the night with instructions to come in by five the next morning.

 

 **THE SUDDEN NOISE OUTSIDE** the Observation Deck on floor 56 made Lynda look at the reinforced door with apprehension. Fearfully, she spoke into her communicator and announced her impending doom. “They've found me.”

He heard fear and her voice trembled. The Doctor replied through the intercom but never stopped working. “You'll be all right, Lynda,” he promised. “That side of the station's reinforced against meteors.” But even to him, his words seemed unconvincing.

Lynda tried to master her fear. She knew the Doctor was their only hope. She did her best to keep it light and chirped, “Hope so! Know what they say about Earth workmanship...”

They’d found her, a solitary female on floor 56. The Dalek slid across the floor, a deadly electromagnetic field pulsed from its conical metal body. Outside the door, a second Dalek advanced with a miniature blowtorch attachment and began targeting the door’s most vulnerable point. With absolute conviction, without distraction, they followed their orders and proceeded to exterminate the few remaining humans on Satellite-5.

From the inside, a blue flame sparked through a narrow crack and provided irrefutable evidence of their efforts to break down the door. Then she saw movement out of the corner of her eye and she slowly turned back to the window. Her eyes widened in shock. There were three Daleks rising into view outside, in the void of space. The lead Dalek flashed its headlights in sync with its favorite four-syllable command, “EX–TER–MIN–ATE” and then it fired. The window smashed and then over the communicator, they heard Lynda’s final scream.

On floor 500, the Doctor listened as she screamed in terror and then as it was abruptly cut off. He looked up in shock when he realized she was gone.

On floor 499, Jack ran backwards down a corridor, firing at the Dalek pursuing him. He yelled into his communicator breathlessly. “Last man standing!” he announced. “For God's sake, Doctor, finish that thing and kill them!” Time was running out. They were almost out of floors and he was almost out of ammo.

 

 

 

 **I LOOSENED MY TIE,** let it hang there slackly around my neck while I slowly yet deliberately unbuttoned my shirt. Jack was talking to some faceless government official about our upcoming year-end report. I’d been waiting for nearly forty minutes already and frankly, I was done waiting. His eyes flickered up off the document he held in his hand. He’d caught sight of me standing in the doorway.  I smiled coyly and quirked an eyebrow when he continued watching. He grinned and stuck the tip of his tongue out between his lips thoughtfully. His eyes travelled across my well-draped form and were drawn to the growing flash of skin as I unbuttoned my shirt. I leaned up against the doorframe casually, giving the impression I was somehow unable to stand on my own.

He’d been trying to pay attention to his caller but that was getting old. He tried to interrupt several times but the official just kept going on and on. Finally, Jack just stopped trying. He held the phone to his ear reflexively but other than that, he wasn’t exactly engaged in the conversation. I undid the button on my trousers, unzipped the fly and then pulled my shirttails out from within. I pulled the tie off first and tossed it at him. He caught it easily mid-air and almost dropped the phone in the process. He grinned and ran the tie across his cheek. He was temporarily called back to the official when an answer was demanded of him. At first he sputtered, unsure what was being asked of him so he asked the caller to repeat the question. He glared at me accusingly with his eyes but the smile never left his lips. I let my shirt slip off my shoulders and draped it around the back of the nearest chair. I bent over, ass pointing his way and untied my shoes. Then I sat down on the sofa and kicked them off. I pulled my trousers off and folded them neatly, setting them aside. Jack raised his chin, looked over the edge of the desk so he could see me better and was rewarded.  I ran my hand over my chest, grazing my left nipple. I swept my fingertips across my stomach the way I liked to be touched and locked eyes with him. He licked his lips eagerly. I smiled and ran my teeth over my bottom lip. I slid my hand down between my legs and cupped my groin, squeezing gently.

He stifled a groan and looked up at the ceiling. He cleared his throat loudly, “Listen, George. I’ll have to call you back.” He listened impatiently. “No. Something’s come up.” George was insistent. “Soon. I promise. Bye.” He hung up before George could get another word out. Then he was up out of his chair—on his knees—on the floor—in front of me—before I had a chance to speak. “You are a very naughty boy Mr. Jones.” His voice was raspy, lust ridden. He leaned forward, pressing between my legs and kissed me breathless.

“I know,” I said when we’d come up for air. “I should be punished.” I added, feeling entirely naughty. I wrapped my hands behind his head, ran my fingers through his hair and tickled the wisps at the nape of his neck. He purred and I pulled his head towards me. It was my turn to kiss him until he couldn’t think straight.

“We’re all alone for a few hours.” He mused.

“Let’s make the best of it.” I said as I tugged off his shirt.

“S’no telling how long we’ll be busy with this mess.” He murmured, his hands roamed, sent shivers over my skin.

“Could be days…” I agreed raggedly. His fingers slid home.

“Exactly.” His eyes never left mine. I licked my lips in anticipation.

****

**_Continued in… 15 –  Bad Wolf!_ **

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter follows the script for the episode DW1.13, which I found online.


	15. Bad Wolf!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ianto’s New Timeline:  December 24, 2005 (3rd month at TW)
> 
> Warnings/spoilers/content: spoilers for DW1.13-The Parting of the Ways, smexiness [slashy-romance-novel-smut], profanity, some violence and death
> 
> She is here now there then everywherewhen

 

DECEMBER 24, 2005

**ROSE STEPPED FORWARD** and looked into the light. She couldn’t look away. It reflected onto her face and she shone with a golden light. A breeze blew through her fine blond hair and suddenly, two golden streams of light began flowing into her eyes.

 On floor 500, Jack was running out of corridor. He continued running backwards and shooting in vain as Daleks advanced on him. He screamed desperately. “Doctor, you've got twenty seconds maximum!” He’d done all he could. He was only one man.

In equal desperation, the Doctor worked frantically to assemble the weapon. He’d almost finished. He threw the final pieces of equipment together and dashed around like a madman.

The TARDIS hurtled through the Time Vortex with terrifying speed. Inside, a strange breeze blew around Rose as she stood frozen staring into the time vortex and twin golden streams coursed into her eyes.

Just outside the main control room, Jack ran out of bullets. He stood at the end of the corridor and tossed the now useless Defabricator aside. He tried firing another smaller gun but it had no effect.

  

 

 

The Daleks continued their steady advance and he kept fighting until his gun produced only clicks. He was backed up against the wall, weaponless against three Daleks yet he faced them squarely. He knew his time was drawing to a close.

 

The lead Dalek announced his fate. “Exterminate!” The other two raised their guns.

Jack scoffed defiantly. “I kinda figured that.” He opened his arms slightly, ready for the end. They fired and Jack slumped down against the wall, dead.

 

 

**AFTER THE FIRST TRANSMISSION** , Owen and Tosh decided to come in early. They couldn’t sleep at home so they thought they might as well be at the hub where we could all pace together. They were scanning the airwaves for any sign of the Sycorax. They sat side by side, their heads close together and spoke softly if at all.

A few meters away, Jack stood at a raised monitor. He too was scanning our feeds. I stood behind him and slightly offside so my chest was pressing against his upper arm. I leaned forward and rested my chin on his shoulder. In response, Jack leaned back a little. I titled my head towards his earlobe and murmured a complaint in his ear.  “I’m going into withdrawals, Jack.” I made sure my breath tickled the little hairs when I spoke.

He chuckled; the naughty rumble went straight to my groin. “Well… we can’t have that.”

I told him I was disappointed that we didn’t have enough private time for what I’d been planning. Jack moaned and started to say how he’d been trying to make some but then we were interrupted by a news report.

Jack announced it loudly and they were at our side in a flash. We listened attentively to the broadcast. It was exactly as I’d said it would be. I caught a look as it passed between Owen and Tosh. They looked a little nervous. I knew it would put them on edge. They’d be wondering what else I knew and probably how I knew it too.

The instant the report finished Jack spun around and picked up right where we left off. Pure seduction rolled off him when he spoke. “You’ve got all this to play with babe.” He ran his hands down his body suggestively. Owen’s mouth dropped in shock and Tosh blushed furiously. I shook my head in amusement but couldn’t stop the smirk or the smolder in my eyes. “And you can have it anytime you like…” He paused, scanned my eyes more closely. “Any way you like,” he added a little breathlessly after a beat. Tosh and Owen were immediately forgotten, the global emergency a distant memory. He stepped closer and his eyes glittered mischievously.

When he stopped, we were eye to eye. They were stupendous eyes, audacious and brilliantly blue. A look from them could curl my toes and leave me breathless. Hell, they probably left the rest of the room breathless… but to hell with the rest of the room. Just then, I couldn’t give a shit about the rest of the Universe.

 

 

**FINALLY FINISHED** , the Doctor pulled up the lever on the device he’d just put together. “It's ready!” He gasped in amazement. He looked up as columns of Daleks slowly filed into the room; they surrounded him menacingly. He warned, “You really wanna think about this. 'Cos if I activate the signal, every living creature dies.”  

On the screen, Emperor Dalek announced, “I am immortal.” He gave every impression that he was unconcerned.

“D'you wanna put that to the test?” The Doctor countered boldly.

Emperor Dalek answered gleefully. “I want to see you become like me. Hail the Doctor, the Great Exterminator!” he called out mockingly.

The Doctor didn’t take kindly to being mocked. In anger, he placed his hands on the lever and threatened, “I'll do it!”

“Then prove yourself, Doctor.”  The evil Emperor taunted. “What are you—coward or killer?” 

The Doctor's hands tensed on the lever. He shook, his face screwed up in pain as his mental battle raged internally. Then as if he were struck by the full extent of the horror facing him, his hands slipped off the lever limply. He looked up, calm once again. “Coward. Any day,” he declared proudly. 

“Mankind will be harvested because of your weakness,” Emperor Dalek countered.

“And what about me?” asked the Doctor. “Am I becoming one of your angels”? 

The Emperor answered quickly. “You are the Heathen. You will be exterminated.” 

The Doctor seemed resigned to his fate. “Maybe it's time.” He sighed and then closed his eyes, ready for death. Daleks surrounded him on all sides; it would be quick at least.

They were surprised when the sound of the TARDIS engines filled the air. One of the Daleks swiveled around, aimed its eyestalk at the spot where the TARDIS had been less than an hour ago.

The Dalek screamed. “Alert! TARDIS materialising!”

The Doctor's eyes snapped open and he spun around in shock.

Emperor Dalek shrieked loudly. “You will not escape!”

As soon as the TARDIS had fully materialised the doors flew open. The Doctor recoiled and threw a hand over his eyes as the blinding golden light of the time vortex poured out of the TARDIS. Rose stood in the doorway shrouded in a swirling cloud of golden energy. When she stepped forward, the light curled around her and the Doctor stared, awestruck. As comprehension dawned on him, he stumbled backwards then fell to the ground completely distraught. His fear was apparent. “What've you done?”

Rose gazed down at him with eyes fully lit by the Time Vortex. When she spoke, her London accent had completely vanished. “I looked into the TARDIS. And the TARDIS looked into me.” There was a power in her voice.

The Doctor was horror struck. “You looked into the Time Vortex? Rose, no one's meant to see that.”

“This is the abomination!” Emperor Dalek shouted.

A Dalek declared its intent. “Exterminate!” A second later, it fired at Rose but she merely held up her hand and intercepted the energy beam. The bolt froze and reversed back into the gun harmlessly. The Doctor watched the incredible display of power in amazement. Then he stared up at Rose intensely.

As if she’d heard his unspoken question, Rose explained. “I am the Bad Wolf. I create myself. I take the words...” She pointed to the words 'BAD WOLF CORPORATION' written high on the wall and then waved her hand. “I scatter them in time and space.” As she spoke, the words 'Bad Wolf' rose from the wall and floated away. “A message to lead myself here,” she added finally.

“Rose, you've got to stop this,” the Doctor begged urgently. “You've got to stop this now.”

Rose stared straight ahead as though she hadn't heard him.

The Doctor was wildly concerned. He tried again. “You've got the entire vortex running through your head. You're gonna burn.” 

Suddenly Rose looked at him. She explained herself simply. “I want you safe.” Her words broke his heart. She’d done this for him. She’d given her life to save him, to save them all.

The Doctor could only stare open-mouthed in shock. When he looked at her face, he saw traces of tears on her cheeks. “My Doctor,” she whispered to him and then spoke more loudly. “Protected from the false God.” 

The Emperor blustered. “You cannot hurt me. I am immortal.” 

Rose retorted. “You are tiny. I can see the whole of time and space—every single atom of your existence, and I divide them.” She raised her hand and easily disintegrated the centre Dalek into millions of tiny golden, liquid-like particles. “Everything must come to dust... all things. Everything dies,” she said forebodingly. Then with a look, she reduced the remaining Daleks in the control room to golden particles. “The Time War ends,” she declared. 

The Emperor’s voice rose in fear. “I will not die. I cannot die!” It screwed up its eye.

In the next instant, the entire mother ship was reduced to the liquid-like golden particles and they dissolved away into oblivion.

Rose stood there with her arms raised, staring straight ahead of her, shaking from the effort.

“Rose, you've done it,” the Doctor said in awe. “Now stop. Just let go.” He pleaded for her life. His mind was reeling. He’d given everything to end The Time War. All this time… alone. The Time War had raged on unbeknownst to him. His Rose had ended it with a sweep of her hand.

But Rose stood blissfully quiet. “How can I let go of this? I bring life...” She made a subtle gesture.

On floor 500, at the end of the corridor Jack suddenly gasped back to life and drew in a burning breath of air. His eyes flew open and he too reeled but in confusion. They killed him. He was dead. Now, he was alive. _Impossible_ , he thought.

The Doctor protested, terrified of what she might mean to do. “But this is wrong! You can't control life and death!”

She looked at him again, a mild expression on her face. “But I can. The sun and the moon... the day and night.” Her voice trembled. “But why do they hurt...?”

The Doctor cried out desperately. “The power's gonna kill you and it's my fault.” He couldn’t carry this guilt, he couldn’t. He lowered his head in anguish.

Rose sobbed gently. “I can see everything.” She tried to explain but the pain was excruciating. A tear rolled down her cheek.

At her words, the Doctor raised his head again.

Overwhelmed, she continued on. “All that is... all that was... all that ever could be.” 

The Doctor stood up abruptly, looked down at her as if he suddenly understood perfectly.

Then he spoke, clearly awed. “That's what I see. All the time. And doesn't it drive you mad?” 

Rose nodded. When she spoke, he heard her pain and fear. “My head...”

The Doctor held out his arms. “Come here.”

Rose gasped. “It's killing me...”

He took her hands and smiled kindly. “I think you need a Doctor.” 

Slowly, he pulled her close. The Doctor gazed into her eyes, and then gently, carefully, leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. As the kiss deepened, the Time Vortex began flowing out of her eyes and into his.

 

 

They parted slowly and held each other’s gaze for a few more moments before Rose's eyes fluttered closed and she fell into his arms, unconscious. He laid her carefully down on the floor and then stood up straight. Calmly, he turned towards the TARDIS and slowly exhaled the Time Vortex from his mouth and allowed it to stream back into the TARDIS. The blue doors closed quietly, and the TARDIS looked completely normal once more. The Doctor slowly opened his eyes and smiled softly to himself. He kneeled down, leaned over Rose and tenderly stroked her face and neck.

 

 

**JACK GROANED IN PAIN** and winced as he stood up. He staggered through the corridor towards the control room. On his way, he spotted a pile of dust on the floor, where one of the Daleks once stood. He leaned down and ran his fingers through the powder in confusion. Suddenly, he heard the sound of the TARDIS engines groaning to life. Jack ran towards the sound as fast as he could but he was too late. He watched in horror as the TARDIS faded away. They’d left him stranded, surrounded by the dead. He stared after them feeling hurt, confused and abandoned. And his heart broke.

 

**_Continued in… 16 – Intergalactic Thugs_ **

_  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I borrowed a line from Slapbak’s The Key. This chapter follows the script for the episode DW1.13, which I found online.


	16. Intergalactic Thugs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ianto’s New Timeline:  December 25, 2005 (3rd month at TW)
> 
> This chapter 12:30AM until 5AM - from first transmission until Tosh gets ---
> 
> Spoilers for DW2.0 The Christmas Invasion

##    


DECEMBER 25, 2005, 12:30-5 AM

 **“JACK, IT’S STARTING.”** I called him over and we watched the monitor with anticipation.

 

We watched avidly as a BBC reporter announced the late breaking news at a press conference.  “Scientists in charge of Britain's mission to Mars have re-established contact with the Guinevere One space probe. They're expecting the first transmission from the planet's surface in the next few minutes.”

 

Mr. Llewellyn took the podium and spoke in excited tones. “Yes, we are. We're, we're back on schedule. We've received the signal from Guinevere One. The Mars landing would seem to be an unqualified success.”

 

From within the sea of press, an eager reporter shouted out a challenge. “But is it true that you completely lost contact earlier tonight?”

 

“Yes, we had a bit of a scare.” Mr. Llewellyn faced the crowd and admitted their near disaster nervously. “Guinevere seemed to fall off the scope, but it, it was just a blip. Only disappeared for a few seconds,” he insisted. “She is fine now, absolutely fine. We're getting the first pictures transmitted live any minute now. I'd better get back to it, thanks.” He rambled breathlessly and then ran quickly off the stage.

 

A sophisticated, well-coiffed newsreader began her play-by-play of the live feed. “The first photographs…” She hesitated, unable to make out the image. “This image is being transmitted via mission control, coming live from the depths of space on Christmas morning.”

 

After a few moments, the wavy static cleared and lo and behold, we got our first glimpse of the Sycorax. They had a white boney head shaped like a goat's skull with fiery red-eyes that shone through the eyeholes of what looked like an ugly mask. Then, it growled and gurgled on live television. At twelve-thirty AM the shit officially hit the fan.

 

She hardly missed a beat. “The face of an alien life form was transmitted live tonight on BBC1.” We had several data streams coming in so we switched between the BBC and the American newsfeed.

 

The American news anchor declared her opinion proudly. “On the 25th of December, the human race has been shown absolute proof that alien life exists.”

 

“How much do you wanna bet,” asked Jack, his tone dripping with scorn, “that by next week nobody will admit to seeing any aliens?” He just shook his head in disgust. I had to agree, it was ridiculous how people insisted on remaining ignorant of reality.

 

 **TWENTY MINUTES LATER THE WARNING ALARM BLARED** , signalling the rollback of the cog door. To my utter surprise (not), in walked Tosh and Owen, looking jumpy and fearful. I was in the kitchen making myself another cuppa. I nodded and said a little psalm of thanks to _The Powers That Be_ that I’d gotten dressed.

 

Jack smiled at them. “Good thing I put some underpants on.” He chuckled and walked barefoot across the steel grating, picked up his coffee cup, leaned his hip against the desk and took a sip of his sinfully good coffee.

 

 **AROUND 1 AM, TOSH CALLED OVER HER SHOULDER** , still sitting at her desk. “Jack… I’m picking up chatter. A top-level meeting has been called at UNIT headquarters.” She was flipping between several different feeds trying to absorb as much information as humanly possible in the time remaining.

 

“Any mention of us?” Jack asked hopefully. 

 

“Torchwood has not been requested as of yet.” Tosh replied, all business. Jack stood behind her, rested his hands lightly on her shoulders.

 

“I’m picking up a video feed. It’s overriding several satellite data streams.” Tosh announced at a lower volume.

 

“How are they able to do that?” Owen wondered aloud.

 

“They must be piggy-backing.” Jack suggested. “Advanced technology,” he added with a shrug. “Probably broadcasting all around the world by now.”

 

“Finally,” she sighed. “I’m picking up an audio feed. Translation software is on.” A group of Sycorax filled the screen. Their words were harsh and unmistakably aggressive.

 

“Sounds a bit like Klingon.” Owen quipped.

 

“I’m not familiar with that.” Jack replied seriously.

 

Tosh grinned, Owen snorted and I slid an arm around Jack’s shoulder. “It’s a joke Jack. Klingons are from Star Trek. It’s a movie.”

 

Jack rolled his eyes in disgust. “Oh, I hate science fiction movies! They always get it wrong.” We’d heard this particular rant numerous times before. It was one of Jack’s pet peeves. “This one time…” he began.

 

“Not now Jack!” Both Owen and Tosh exclaimed in unison.

 

He held up his hands in surrender. I gave his shoulder a little squeeze.

 

Owen leaned over the chair in front of him, squinted at the alien text flicking across the screen. “How long until this thing is finished?” He asked Tosh.

 

“Thirty minutes max,” Tosh assured him confidently.

 

I was at my own station, right next to Tosh. I was searching through UNIT’s live feed trying to glean every drop of useful information I could. “I’ve got a trajectory…” I told them. Their heads flipped up and all eyes fell on me and my screen. “And projected arrival time is about five hours.”

 

“Just what you thought,” said Jack. He patted me on the shoulder and bobbed his chin up and down.

 

“I’ve got to admit it… you’ve been right so far.” Owen nodded and squished his lips together in approval. He stood behind Tosh, his arms crossed in a defensive stance. Unfortunately that only meant things were going to get ugly, fast.

 

Tosh attempted to ease her steadily rising stress levels by taking a few slow deep breaths in and out. Noticing this, Owen uncrossed his arms and began massaging her shoulders. Jack looked on approvingly and said nothing.

 

A beeping sound made Tosh’s eyes fly open. “An alert is coming in on the Torchwood network. They’ve called in Torchwood One Jack.” Her voice was tight and clipped.

 

A second beeping sound indicated the translation program had finished its task and all eyes panned across to that terminal.

 

“Here it is…” she announced. She read the translation aloud. “People. That could be slaves or cattle. You belong to the Sycorax. We own you. We now possess your land, your minerals, your precious stones. You will surrender or they will die. Sycorax strong, Sycorax mighty, Sycorax rock… they think they’re awesome?” Tosh scoffed at their arrogance. 

 

“So their idea of colonization is enslaving most of the population and killing the rest?” Owen asked the room.

 

“Seems so,” offered Jack.

 

“They said _they will die_. They’re talking about the A Positive people, aren’t they?” Tosh asked fearing the answer.

 

 **THERE WAS A LULL AROUND 2 AM** and it was stretching our nerves to the limit. The silence was especially unbearable for Jack so he started telling stories to get our minds off of things. He’d been reminiscing about his least favorite alien thugs of all time. He had a top ten list and he was working his way through it with one humorous account after another. While his heart was in the right place, his stories weren’t reassuring anyone and they certainly weren’t humorous to anyone but him. “Oh, but my favorite alien thugs were those rogue Judoon. They’d broken off from their squad and just kind of went berserker on a couple of sectors. It wasn’t pretty. They were completely insane and very thorough. If you pissed them off they wouldn’t just kill you. First, they’d kill everyone you’d ever met and make you watch. Then they’d totally kill your ass.” He chuckled to himself. “Ah… good times.” He sighed.

 

Owen leaned closer to Tosh and murmured in her ear. “I never know if he’s telling the truth.” She frowned and shrugged but after a brief moment, her eyes went wide with fear. Suddenly, she was quite afraid he was telling the truth after all.

 

Jack sat with his eyes closed, a smile on his lips completely oblivious to their reaction. He sat that way for a few moments immersed in his memories then his eyelids rolled back and he turned to me. Jack flicked an eyebrow high, suggestively. “Let’s go find a nice horizontal surface… and I can show you how insanely hot you are,” he offered.

 

I smirked. “I’d love to but I don’t think now’s the time, Jack.”

 

He pouted. He’d been hoping for a different answer.

 

Owen was trying his best to comfort Tosh but was at a complete loss for words. She rubbed the heels of her hands into her tired eye-sockets and Owen looked on uselessly. Jack’s eyes panned over us, first Tosh then Owen and finally me. He looked at us closely, trying to see how we were really holding up under our thin facades. “Why don’t we all take some down-time?” he suggested loudly. He grabbed my hand and before I could utter a protest, he was pulling me out through the cog door. “We need some fresh air. It’ll be awhile until we see the light of day. So let’s take a little walk.” He was talking quickly, trying to convince me. He didn’t realize I needed none.

 

 **WE RECONVENED AT 5 AM** , looking no better and certainly no more rested. Owen and Tosh made their way down to the medical bay in silence. She sat on the end of the metal slab looking small and fragile. She was scared, so scared in fact that she was coiling in on herself. “I’m going to hook your IV up first so we can start the nutrients bag.”

 

“What do you mean? Why do I need that?” She was as jumpy as a skittish colt in a lightning storm.

 

“You haven’t eaten. You haven’t slept.” He explained calmly. “You’re run down and your body’s about to be put through the ringer. You need some supplements.”  
“I thought I’d have a full English this morning. You know, sort of a last meal?” She tried for casual and failed tragically.

 

“I wouldn’t eat if I were you.” He said cryptically.

 

We were coming down the stairs and overheard his warning. “I totally agree Tosh. You definitely don’t want a bunch of food sitting in your… GI tract while you have no control of your body.” I finished awkwardly. I had no idea what would happen but I didn’t want Tosh to suffer any more than she had to.

 

She blanched, visibly and pursed her lips. “Right. IV it is then. Hook me up doctor.” She nodded at Owen. It was at times like this that we were all thankful for Owen’s professional demeanor.  Once he finished, Tosh stood up and dusted herself off. “Well, I’m off to the loo.” She snorted. She was getting a little punchy.

 

We heard the unnaturally loud ring tone of Jack’s office phone and everybody jumped. I whipped over to Owen’s phone and re-directed the call to the med bay. “Hallo?” I answered the call like one does in a supper secret underground base.

 

“Gimme Jack.” He grunted out the demand. I handed the phone to Jack who smiled his thanks.

 

“Something’s brewing, something big.” His contact told him. “Yvonne’s got her knickers in a knot and the alien tech department is running frantic. I don’t know what they’re doing exactly. But they’re making something or assembling something big. I thought you should know boyo.”

 

“Thanks. I owe you one.” Jack handed out IOUs almost as often as he called them in. Sometimes longevity could really work in your favour. Jack had lots of time to accumulate favours owed.

 

“You do.” He rang off abruptly.

 

“It’s starting. _One_ is starting to boil.” Jack told us.

 

“What are they doing?” Owen looked at me, not Jack.

 

Resigned, I smiled and nodded. “Some kind of alien tech. Basically, a really big gun.”

 

Jack frowned. “Big enough to take out the Sycorax ship?”

 

I shrugged. “Maybe. But…” I thought, ran my tongue over my teeth. “I don’t think it’s stealthy enough to be used for a full frontal attack.”

 

“I’d love to know what all they have hidden away at _One_.” Owen mused while he fiddled with the Velcro restraints. It was a quarter to and time was running out.

 

Tosh stood at the railing, entertaining a happy fantasy. “Maybe you won’t have to sedate me. Maybe Torchwood One will blow ‘em out of the sky before they ever have a chance to use their blood control technology…” No one could have missed the desperately hopeful lilt in her voice. I shook my head slightly, apologetically. She stomped down the stairs making her reluctance known.

 

“Just think of it as a nice day off Tosh, complete with a little happy juice that Owen’s cooked up for you.” Jack tried to find the bright side of the empty glass.  He got a death-ray glare for his troubles.

 

Owen patted the now fully padded autopsy table and Tosh complied. The first thing he did was push a little happy juice to help take the edge off. We’d turned on the monitor in the med bay so we could sit with Tosh and watch for the next transmission at the same time. He didn’t strap her in yet but he stood at the ready. Between the three of us, we’d already decided on a the emergency procedure for restraining Tosh. “UNIT’s getting a signal.” Jack announced nervously. “Looks like the PM’s issued an answer to their demands.”

 

“Oh, shit.” I swore under my breath. “They didn’t like that.” I nodded at Owen. Tosh and Jack had been keeping an eye on me too so they both caught my signal. Tosh’s hands flew to her face and a tear started to form in the corner of her eye.

 

“Hey, now. Take it easy, Tosh. We’ll be here the whole time. I promise. We won’t leave your side.” Jack was smoothing a hand around her slight shoulders. She laid herself down onto the thickly padded metal table. I held her hand as Owen wrapped the restraints around her wrists and ankles. We were all paying such close attention to Tosh that we missed the chaos erupting on the screen as a third of UNIT’s personnel began making their way to the nearest rooftop.

 

A blue ring of energy suddenly appeared around Tosh’s crown and Owen gasped. “Fuck.” He declared as he pulled the final strap around Tosh’s middle. He pushed the remaining sedative into the end of her IV tube and prayed it would be enough. She struggled, her brown eyes remained blank empty pools and the straps didn’t give. Her eyes remained open but there was no reaction of any kind. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck, FUCK!” Owen was freaking out.

 

Jack nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly. Then he turned to leave, hesitated, “I’ll be right back,” he told us. Owen grunted and I nodded. He returned a short time later holding three sturdy tumblers and a rather large bottle of whiskey even by his usual standards. He poured, generously. Owen threw it back and put the glass on the nearest counter. He was pissed that his latest creation—aptly dubbed the _super-duper-alien-happy-juice_ —wasn’t working. The sedation was completely ineffective. It was only 6 AM. It was going to be a very long day.

 

**_Continued in… 17 – Zombies for Christmas_ **

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:  There is a slight overlap between the last chapter and this one-right around midnight. The writers of Vampire Diaries came up with that stupid line, I’m just putting it to good use.


	17. Zombies for Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ianto’s New Timeline: December 25, 2005 (3rd month at TW)
> 
> Spoilers for: spoilers for DW2.0 The Christmas Invasion
> 
> 6AM until 3PM  - from blood control at sunrise until the Doctor ---

DECEMBER 25, 2005, 6AM-3PM 

 **STUBBORNLY, THE SUN ROSE OVER LONDON** , light bounced around in the low-lying smog and scarcely made it through; it was a glorious sight.  But hardly anyone was looking at the sunrise; they were busy chasing their pyjama clad loved ones down the street as they uncontrollably sought out the nearest tall building. They walked stiffly, silently. Mothers pleaded, lovers begged and more than one father threatened a good grounding but to no avail. The seemingly mindless hoard of Christmas morning revelers were reminiscent of a zombie apocalypse movie. Zombies for Christmas, how quaint.

 

A local reporter and her camera operator ran alongside the zombie hoard, trying to capture the perfect shot. They zoomed in on a slightly frayed Policeman as he reported the situation over the radio to his dispatcher. “They've stopped,” he began. “They've all stopped. They're just standing there, right on the edge. They've gone right to the edge.” Fear slithered through his thoughts and found a sneaky way in. He couldn’t stop thinking about his son. His son was A-positive. “They're going to jump.” His voice went up an octave.

**DEEP UNDERGROUND, IN OUR DANK HIDEAWAY** , Jack stood at Tosh’s station. He was nowhere near as fast as she was but he tried his best to keep up. He called out to us. “According to reports…” He scanned the police data stream. “It looks like a third. They’re reporting one third of the world's population—about two billion people—are ready to jump.” Beads of sweat had broken out along his forehead. He snuck a peek over the med bay railing. He’d gone up after it became apparent that the med bay pit was far too small for the three of us. More importantly, he felt completely useless. I was still helping Owen as he tried to keep Tosh safe. She struggled violently and her delicate skin was already showing signs of wear and tear. I checked the Velcro restraints for the thirtieth time.

 

“It’s a good thing we jerry rigged those bad boys to the autopsy table. They’re the only things keeping her in the hub.” He ran a hand through his hair, squeezed his eyes tight. “Thanks, Ianto. I’d have gone out of my mind if she was standing on the edge with all those people.” He shook his head and sighed loudly. “I don’t know what I’d ‘ave done.” His eyes skittered across the table and landed on his empty tumbler. The sedative—his _super-duper-alien-happy-juice_ —still wasn’t working and he couldn’t figure out why. “I’ve given her enough to knock out Jack and you put together. I don’t understand it.” He continued fretting while he took a sample of her blood. He needed to analyse something—anything—to get his mind off of this cluster fuck.

 

“I think we’ve done all that we can do… in terms of restraining her. She can’t move her body so she won’t be able to injure her joints.” The look he gave me said he was far from being convinced. “We could put another one here around her torso. Do you think that might help?” We couldn’t be too careful as far as he was concerned. This was Tosh we were talking about.

 

 **HOURS PASSED AND THE POPULACE** (of the planet) bubbled into a fear-induced frenzy. Prime Minister Harriet Jones had only one more card to play. It was a long shot but she was out of options and she couldn’t sit idly by while her constituents slowly lost their minds. She was afraid, very, very afraid. This was usually the time (in any global crisis) when _her_ Doctor appeared and saved the day.  With as much dignity as the Prime Minister could muster, she prepared to address the nation—probably the world—with her desperate plea for help.

 

The producer counted down, “Five—four—three—and…” She held her fingers high in the air and signaled for the start of the broadcast.

 

The Prime Minister looked a little small as she sat in the heavy wooden chair, behind the ornate desk, surrounded by Union flags. She gave a nod to the photograph of Her Majesty, which sat in a place of honour on the desk and then turned to the camera. “Ladies and gentlemen, if I may take a moment during this terrible time. It's hardly the Queen's speech. I'm afraid that's been cancelled.” She turned to her right hand man—live broadcast be dammed. “Did we ask about the royal family?” She blanched quite visibly at his answer. “Oh.” She gulped. “They're on the roof.” She took a deep, steadying breath and carried on. “But, ladies and gentlemen, this crisis is unique, and I'm afraid to say, it might get much worse. I would ask you all to remain calm.” She took a deep breath. _Keep calm and carry on_ , she reminded herself. “But I have one request. Doctor, if you're out there, we need you. I don't know what to do. If you can hear me, Doctor. If anyone knows the Doctor, if anyone can find him, the situation has never been more desperate. Help us. Please, Doctor. Help us. God help us.” With every drop of passion she possessed, she pleaded for all our lives and it made my heart ache. Eyes misted, across the planet, from the weepiest teenaged girl to the most stoic assassin. Most had no idea who this _Doctor_ was but it didn’t matter, they heard and felt her plea and understood its import regardless of culture or language.

 

Owen sniffed and looked at me. His eyes held a question but he remained silent. After a brief pause, he nodded as if to say he still trusted me. “It’s going to be okay, Owen. It will turn out okay in the end. Just a few more hours and then it’ll be over.” He nodded and deep in his gut he hoped I was right. “Look, I’ve got to go up and see if I can help Jack.” He nodded again.

 

 **WHEN MY FOOT CLEARED THE LAST STEP** , my eyes caught a troubling scene. Jack was sitting, slouched over, his elbows on his knees and he was scrubbing his face with his hands. He wasn’t immune to the Prime Minister’s plea either. He too had been hoping the Doctor would show up—like he usually did—and save the day, again. He turned to me and eyes held a plea of their own. “Ianto?” He was glad I’d come up. “This is getting pretty tense. Are you sure it’s going to be all right?” I nodded (and prayed I was right), took his hand and led him over to the sofa.

 

“Jack, it’s going to get worse before it gets better. We knew that. Right?” Uncle voice may have come into play at this point. He nodded quickly. “Tosh is okay where she is. I don’t think Owen’s going to leave her side. But I think we should take a look at that satellite feed. You know, the one Tosh found yesterday?”

 

“Sounds good.” He stood up, glad to have something tangible to fixate on. The PM really shook him up. _Got all misty, like a little girl_ , he chastised himself.

 

Jack got the feed setup and thinking of Owen, made it available on all our screens. I made us coffee. Everything is more bearable with coffee. I shared a cup of liquid hope with Jack while we alternatively scoured CCTV street footage and UNIT’s live security feed. We were too far away to hear it but thanks to the wonders of CCTV, we watched wide-eyed and open-mouthed as a sonic boom shattered every glass structure across London simultaneously. “They’ve entered the atmosphere.” I told him.

 

“Oh sweet Goddess of Mercy, where is he?” Jack’s eyes were wild.

 

I pulled his attention to the screen. “Look, they’re transmitting again.” I brought the feed up front and center. As the clock rang eleven, I noted with some displeasure that aliens were once again hovering over London on Christmas day.

 

 

 **WITH THE HELP OF TECHNOLOGY SO ADVANCED** that it was indistinguishable from magic, the images on our monitor shifted and we watched as four humans materialized aboard the Sycorax ship. The camera must have been positioned near the base of the ship because we were able to see and hear them clearly. There in the center of a gigantic cavern stood the Prime Minister, Harriet Jones; Alex, her right hand man; Mr. Llewellyn and Major Blake. They were out of their element and they looked puny and weak standing next to the terrifying aliens. In the background, we could see a vast army of aliens lined up in galleries above. There were so many that I imagine they’d easily fill several football stadiums. Their leader walked up to them and started to remove his headgear.

 

Mr. Llewellyn whispered to the others in awe. “It's a helmet.” Hope and fear still battled for supremacy in his heart. He’d dreamt of this moment so many times but it really wasn’t turning out how he’d imagined.

 

The leader of the Sycorax began to speak and Alex read out the translation for the others. “You will surrender,” he stuttered nervously. “Or I will release the final curse and your people will jump. You will surrender,” he repeated.

 

Mr. Llewellyn ventured forward. “If I can speak.”

 

Major Blake hissed his disapproval. “Mister Llewellyn, you're a civilian.” 

 

“No,” he insisted, “I sent out the probe. I started it. I made contact with these people. This whole thing's my responsibility,” he told them resolutely. Then he addressed the leader of the Sycorax with a slight bow. “With respect, sir. The human race is taking its first step towards the stars, but we are like children compared to you. Children who need help. Children who need compassion. I beg of you now, show that compassion.” His heartfelt plea was heard by all. Unfortunately, the Sycorax don’t generally enjoy heartfelt pleas very much and he became their first victim. With an evil gleam, the Sycorax leader raised his glittering energy whip in the air and snapped it brutally around Mr. Llewellyn's neck, disintegrating his flesh.

 

Major Blake was horrified and disgusted by their flagrant disregard for the rules of war. He shouted, “That man was your prisoner! Even your species must have articles of war, forbidding–” He was cut off abruptly by the snap of the whip. The glittering weapon tore through his body and all that remained of the Prime Minister’s companions were a couple of fractured skeletons lying in heaps on the floor. 

 

The Prime Minister stepped forward bravely and introduced herself. “Harriet Jones, Prime Minister.” She held her ID card next to her face while she spoke.

 

Alex translated their reply. “Yes, we know who you are. Surrender or they will die.”   
 

She countered, “If I do surrender, how would that be better?” She would carry on bravely if it was the last thing she would do.

Once again, Alex read the translation aloud. “Half is sold into slavery or one third dies. Your choice.”

 

In the background, a couple of subordinate Sycorax interrupted their leader to report a suspicious signal coming from the planet below. “The noise. The bleeping.” Alex told her, “They say it's machinery. Foreign machinery. They're accusing us of hiding it. Conspiring. They’re going to bring it on board.” His voice was strained, overtaxed by fear and confusion. Alex had the feeling he wouldn’t be her right hand man for very much longer.

 

Moments later, on the Powell Estate Jackie screamed as her daughter was once again taken away from her... on the TARDIS. “Rose!” She stood there alone, her hands full of grocery bags and her heart terribly troubled.

**HARRIET WATCHED IN HORROR** as the Sycorax effortlessly located the TARDIS, plucked it off the Earth’s surface and materialized it just a few meters away. She ought to have screamed out, warned her but she expected to see the Doctor step out of those little blue doors. She hadn’t been expecting Rose. They seized her too.

 

She screamed, “Get off! Get off me!” She had to warn Mickey, tell him to stay—but then he ran out the door oblivious to the danger just as she had.  They had to protect the Doctor! They had to keep the TARDIS safe until he was himself again. Before Mickey was captured, he had to close the door. She screamed, let out every ounce of fear. “The door! Close the door!” He managed to slam it shut just seconds before he was captured by a couple of grumpy Sycorax warriors. High above them, thousands of Sycorax cheered.

 

 **DOWN IN THE HUB JACK SHOUTED,** making Owen and me jump out of our skins. “No! Not Rose!” Jack stood with his hands wrapped around the edge of the desk, knuckles white and his heart beating fast. “Oh, no. Not Mickey Mouse too.” He hung his head. We’d watched, almost entirely in silence as one by one the PM’s companions were disintegrated. From this distance, there was nothing we could do except maybe gasp and fume. When Jack first saw the TARDIS shimmer into a solid mass next to the PM, he had cheered, loudly. He thought the Doctor had finally come. But a blonde haired young woman came out instead. Jack stood up, he obviously knew her. “Where is he? Something’s wrong.” Fear gripped him. If they were by themselves… something was very wrong.

 

 **ROSE FLEW INTO HER ARMS.** The Prime Minister dared to hope. “Rose. Rose! I've got you. My Lord. Oh, my precious thing. The Doctor, is he with you?” She pushed the words out, fearing the worst. If he was coming, surely he would have come already.

 

Rose whispered in her ear. “No. We're on our own” Harriet heard more than just fear in her voice, there was sadness there too. Her worst fears were coming  to life. The Doctor wasn’t coming.

 

Alex read from his handheld. “The yellow girl. She has the clever blue box. Therefore, she speaks for your planet.” The Sycorax saw the TARDIS for what is was, advanced technology. And to them, technology meant power.

 

Harriet gasped. “But she can't.” She protested; she couldn’t let Rose end up like her other companions.

 

But Rose was determined. “Yeah, I can.” She stepped forward. Stood there like a sacrificial lamb.

 

Fear tore at Mickey’s gut. What the hell was wrong with her? Was she suicidal? They were way out of their league. “Don't you dare.” He hissed. Without the Doctor, they had nothing, no hope of getting out of this one alive.

 

Again, Rose persisted. “Someone's got to be the Doctor.” She believed. She believed. This was a better way to live. Even if the Doctor was dying, even if he’d left her, it was still better than chips and buses until you died of boredom.

 

The Prime Minister tried to stop her. “They'll kill you,” she warned.  She couldn’t have any more blood on her hands. She couldn’t  bear it.

 

Rose countered, “Never stopped him.” She took a deep breath and thought _here goes nothing_. “I, er, I address the Sycorax according to Article Fifteen of the Shadow Proclamation. I command you to leave this world with all the authority of the Slitheen Parliament of Raxacoricofallapatorius, and er, the Gelth Confederacy as er, sanctioned by the Mighty Jagrafess and, oh, the Daleks! Now, leave this planet in peace! In peace.” She’d tapped out. She wasn’t the Doctor. She could try but she wasn’t him. 

 

 

A roar swept across the vast army above them as the Sycorax all burst into laughter. Alex gulped, “You are very, very funny. And now you're going to die.” God, he hated his job. 

 

The Prime Minister tried to pull away. “Leave her alone!” She struggled to free herself. She couldn’t just stand there while they killed another innocent.

 

Mickey growled, “Don't touch her!" He struggled but they held him tightly.

 

Harriet chimed in again, “Leave her alone.” Harriet and Mickey each struggled to get free but were held back as the leader walked up to Rose. His intent was clear.

 

Alex shook. He read from his translator. “Did you think you were clever with your stolen words? We are the Sycorax, we stride the darkness. Next to us you are but a wailing child. If you are the best your planet can offer as a champion—”  

 

“Then your world will be gutted.” The Sycorax leader spoke gleefully. He was really looking forward to this.

 

After only a moment’s delay, Alex read from the translator. “Then your world will be gutted.”

 

The Sycorax leader finished, “And your people enslaved.”

   
Alex blinked and realized that he could suddenly understand the Sycorax leader. “Hold on, that's English.” 

  
“He's talking English,” agreed the Prime Minister. She didn’t understand the importance of this obviously, but it couldn’t be a bad thing.

 

Rose’s heart leaped in her chest. “You're talking English.” Doctor! Doctor! Hurry up! They needed him now, more than ever. She was nearly done for and so were half the people of Earth. Now, would be a good time for a dramatic entrance.

 

The Sycorax leader sneered. “I would never dirty my tongue with your primitive bile.”

 

Rose turned to Mickey who was also feeling rather hopeful. “That's English. Can you hear English?”

 

He smiled. “Yeah, that's English.”

 

Nervously, Alex nodded and joined in on the agreeing. “Definitely English.” 

 

The Sycorax leader hollered. “I speak only Sycoraxic!” 

 

She’d been afraid to hope. Had all but given up. But Rose was suddenly so filled with hope she felt it pound in her chest. “If I can hear English, then it's being translated. Which means it's working. Which means…” 

 **EVERYONE TURNED TO LOOK AT THE TARDIS.** Our hearts beat as one, we shared the same thought, the same desperate hope. We all, on the Sycorax ship and in the hub held our breath as the blue doors swung open. Rose and Mickey sighed as relief washed over them. Finally, the Doctor had woken up and come to the rescue. The rest of us saw a man, in his pyjamas. “Who’s that?” I asked. “Is that the Doctor?” I searched Jack’s face for some kind of recognition but I saw none.

 

He shook his head, he squinted and frowned, tried to get a better look at the man’s face. “I don’t know who he is. I’ve never seen him before in my life.” Confused and disappointed, Jack slumped. It didn’t make any sense. Only the Doctor could fly the TARDIS. Rose couldn’t do it and neither could Mickey Mouse. And he had no idea who this guy was unless…

 

 **THE DOCTOR STEPPED UP TO THE THRESHOLD**. He stood in the doorway, arms spread wide and he smiled. “Did you miss me?” Even as relief washed over them, more than one person noted that he was still a cheeky bastard. Infuriated by the interruption, the Sycorax leader cracked his whip, intending to silence this late comer. However, since a Timelord’s reaction time is far superior to most species the Doctor easily caught the end of the whip and yanked it out of his hand. In true Doctor form, he chastised the Sycorax as he would a child for running in the hall.  “You could have someone's eye out with that.”

 

The Sycorax leader did not appreciate the slight. “How dare!” He shouted in outrage.

 

The Doctor took two steps forward, snatched a thick club right out of a guard’s clutches and broke it across his knee. He muttered, “You just can't get good staff.” Then he pointed at the leader and told him sternly, “Now, you, just wait. I'm busy.” Then he turned to greet his friends. “Mickey, hello! And Harriet Jones MP for Flydale North. Blimey, it's like This Is Your Life.” He grinned at Rose. “Tea! That's all I needed, a good cup of tea! Superheated infusion of free radicals and tannin. Just the thing for healing the synapses.” He paused just long enough to take a breath. He stood in front of her and in all seriousness asked her, “Now, first thing's first. Be honest, how do I look?” 

 

**_Continued in… 18 – Ready, Steady, Blow (‘Em Up)_ **

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:  I found a transcription of the script online and built the chapter around it.
> 
>  


	18. Ready, Steady, Blow (‘Em Up)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> December 25, 2005 (3rd month at Torchwood 3)
> 
> * Spoilers for DW2.0 The Christmas Invasion

DECEMBER 25, 2005, 3-8 PM

 **HE PAUSED JUST LONG ENOUGH TO TAKE A BREATH**. He stood in front of her and in all seriousness asked her, “Now, first thing's first. Be honest, how do I look?” He held his breath. His eyes pleaded.

 

Rose, used to his wild mood swings and rollercoaster tangents, answered as tactfully as she could, considering their current predicament. “Er, different.” 

 

He wasn’t mollified. The Doctor prodded a little more. “Good different or bad different?” Hopeful.

 

Rose shrugged noncommittally. “Just different.” 

 

Then came the most important question of all. “Am I ginger?” He held his breath and squished his cheeks up in anticipation.

 

Rose smirked and broke at least one of his hearts. “No, you're just sort of brown.” 

 

The Doctor actually stomped his feet. His disappointment was palpable. “I wanted to be ginger.” He whined, loudly. “I've never been ginger. And you, Rose Tyler, fat lot of good you were. You gave up on me. Oh, that's rude. That's the sort of man I am now, am I? Rude. Rude and not ginger.” He sighed. He’d begun his new list the moment he woke up.

 

The Prime Minister saw her opportunity. She asked Rose, “I'm sorry. Who is this?” 

 

This was the sort of thing he’d come to expect. It would be happening quite frequently for the next little while so he’d better get used to it. Every time he regenerated, he had to reintroduce his new face. He smiled at her. “I'm the Doctor.” 

 

She looked to Rose for an explanation. She shrugged and nodded. “He's the Doctor.” She agreed.

 

The Prime Minister was disappointed. She’d wanted _her_ Doctor. “But what happened to my Doctor?” Plaintive. “Or is it a title that's just passed on?”  

 

The Doctor was used to this. Humans had a difficult time processing this bit, always had. He explained. “I'm him. I'm literally him. Same man, new face. Well, new everything.” He mused; he needed to find a mirror sometime in the near future.

 

The Prime Minister prided herself on being both practical and open-minded but this…  “But you can't be.” She insisted.

 

The Doctor stepped closer, looked into her eyes. “Harriet Jones, we were trapped in Downing Street and the one thing that scared you wasn't the aliens, it wasn't the war, it was the thought of your mother being on her own.” 

 

It was him! “Oh, my God.” The Prime Minister shifted her understanding of the Universe and made ready to carry on.

 

He smiled. He saw the mental shift and was impressed. “Did you win the election?” 

 

She was so pleased to be asked. The Prime Minister answered.  “Landslide majority.” She very nearly glowed.

 

The Sycorax leader had been stunned at first, by his audacity. But enough was enough! “If I might interrupt.” He stormed.

 

He was feeling a bit scatter-brained, a side effect of regeneration. It was time to concentrate on the problem at hand. “Yes, sorry. Hello, big fellow.” 

 

“Who exactly are you?” demanded the Sycorax leader.

 

He really couldn’t have picked a worse time to ask. The Doctor was struggling with his new identity as well. “Well, that's the question,” he replied, his uncertainty clear.

 

The Sycorax leader could only interpret his waffling as subterfuge or evasion. He bellowed, “I demand to know who you are!” 

 

“I DON'T KNOW!” He shouted back, his voice deep and guttural. “See, there's the thing. I'm the Doctor, but beyond that, I just don't know. I literally do not know who I am. It's all untested. Am I funny? Am I sarcastic? Sexy?” He winked at Rose. “Right old misery? Life and soul? Right handed? Left handed? A gambler? A fighter? A coward? A traitor? A liar? A nervous wreck? I mean, judging by the evidence, I've certainly got a gob.” He added that to the list.

 

He’d been moving across the floor, assessing their firepower and weaknesses. “And how am I going to react when I see this, a great big threatening button. A great big threatening button, which must not be pressed under any circumstances, am I right?” The Sycorax followed him across the floor. We followed the Sycorax. “Let me guess. It's some sort of control matrix, hmm? Hold on, what's feeding it?” He crouched down beneath the great big threatening button, followed the wiring to its source. He opened a round container fastened to the base of the pillar. He sniffed. “And what've we got here?” He sniffed again. “Blood?” He dipped a finger into the liquid and rubbed it between his fingers. “Yeah, definitely blood,” he concluded. Then he took a taste. “Human blood. A-Positive, with just a dash of iron. _Gah!”_ He gaged, slightly revolted. “But that means blood control. Blood control! Oh, I haven't seen blood control for years. You're controlling all the A-Positives. Which leaves us with a great big stinking problem. Because I really don't know who I am. I don't know when to stop. So if I see a great big threatening button which should never, ever, ever be pressed, then I just want to do this.” Dramatically, before anyone could stop him, he hit the button.

 

Everyone—Rose, Mickey, the Prime Minister, even Alex—shouted in unison, “No!”

 

Down on Earth, one by one, then is great swaths, the people of Earth regained awareness and control.

 

Horrified, Alex shouted. “You killed them!” 

 

* * *

 

 **FINALLY, HER EYES CAME INTO FOCUS**. And there was Owen. “Tosh? Are you okay?” She smiled and it almost took his breath away. “Just a minute okay? I’ll be right back.” He ran up the stairs to tell us she was all right.

 

* * *

 

 **THE DOCTOR SMILED KNOWINGLY**. “What do you think, big fellow? Are they dead?” He glanced at the Sycorax leader and gloated just a little. _Arrogant._ _Check._

 

The Sycorax leader blustered, unwilling to admit his fraud.  “We allow them to live.” He blustered, unconvincingly.

 

“Allow?” The Doctor scoffed. “You've no choice. I mean, that's all blood control is. A cheap bit of voodoo. Scares the pants off you, but that's as far as it goes.” He turned to us and explained. “It's like hypnosis. You can hypnotise someone to walk like a chicken or sing like Elvis. You can't hypnotise them to death. Survival instinct's too strong.”  _Smug. Check. Added to the list._

 

* * *

 

 **“IANTO! JACK! SHE’S BACK.”** He slid to a stop at the top of the steps. His eyes locked with mine. “Is it… can I free her? Is it safe?”

 

I smiled and nodded. “Ya, absolutely.” Owen turned and sprinted back down to the med bay where Tosh was waiting (impatiently) for his return. She really had to go.

 

* * *

 

 **HE WOULDN’T BACK DOWN.** The Sycorax leader brushed this small loss aside. Irrelevant. “Blood control was just one form of conquest. I can summon the armada and take this world by force.” Either way this world would be his.

 

Next came the tricky part, getting out of this situation without a war. “Well, _yeah,_ you could, yeah, you could do that, of course you could. But why?” He spread his arms wide. “Look at these people. These human beings. Consider their potential. From the day they arrive on the planet and blinking, step into the sun, there is more to see than can ever be seen. More to do than... No, hold on. Sorry, that's The Lion King. But the point still stands. Leave them alone!” He needed to stay focussed. So many thoughts, so many memories were flooding his mind, overloading his synapsis. He felt completely manic. Those first few hours were the hardest and they probably weren’t the best time to be negotiating inter-species peace.

 

He wasn’t impressed by all these empty words. It was time to end this insipid wailing. The Sycorax leader demanded, “Or what?” 

 

So, talking it out wasn’t going very well. He scanned their weaponry and came up with Plan B. “Or,” he declared. Swiftly, he snatched a long sword from one of the Sycorax guards standing idly by and ran back towards the TARDIS where he shouted, “I challenge you.” 

 

The peanut gallery above came alive with boisterous laughter. They stomped and jeered and waited for their afternoon entertainment to begin.

 

The Doctor mused, “Oh, that struck a chord. Am I right that the sanctified rules of combat still apply?” He challenged with a confidence he hoped was well placed. You never knew with a new body. It was hard to tell if he was a useless spaz or a warrior Time Lord.

 

He was going to kill this puny little man and silence his mouth once and for all. But he had been challenged. He would honor the rules. So, he said the proper words, “You stand as this world's champion.” 

 

“Thank you. I've no idea who I am, but you just summed me up.” The Doctor threw his dressing gown to Rose then he turned to his opponent. “So, you accept my challenge? Or are you just a cranak pel casacree salvak?” He knew the insult would both incite outrage and force their leader to accept his challenge.

 

Through a blinding fog of fury, the Sycorax leader completed the ritual dance. “For the planet?” 

The Doctor nodded curtly. “For the planet.” Then as their swords clashed, the battle began. Traditionally, it would end when one of them died.

 

Rose looked on, confusion and fear muddled her thoughts. She screamed, “Look out!” She was only trying to be helpful.

 

“Oh, yeah, that helps.” The Doctor retorted, sarcasm dripping heavily.  “Wouldn't have thought of that otherwise, thanks.”  _Sarcastic.  Check_. He fought and he watched. His opponent was obviously an experienced swordsman but his decisions were clouded by anger. The Doctor could use that to his advantage. To avoid being backed into a corner, he retreated up a tunnel. He saw an exit sign a headed straight for it. “Bit of fresh air?” He suggested glibly.

 

He was driven through the doorway, out onto the Spaceship hull. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the bright light of day. He fought valiantly but the Sycorax leader easily drove him to the edge. He teetered and was stunned by a hit on the nose. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Rose run forward. He shouted a warning. “Stay back! Invalidate the challenge and he wins the planet.” After a few more heavy strikes, the leader knocked him to the ground. Then, in one fell swoop he slashed and sliced off the Doctor’s sword hand. As it fell to Earth, with his sword, the Doctor shouted indignantly, “You cut my hand off!” 

 

* * *

 

 **“OH GOD! I CAN’T WATCH!”** Jack turned away, began to pace. “He cut off his hand. I can’t watch him die. I can’t…” Jack mumbled, pulled at his hair and swore in every language he knew. Then he started praying.

 

I went to him. “Jack… come on. He’s not going to die. Just give him a minute. You know the Doctor. He’s always got one more trick up his sleeve.” I soothed the best I could. 

 

Tosh had been burning with curiosity. But the tension in the room was thicker than molasses. A distraction might do them some good. She turned to Jack and asked, “How are we getting this feed Jack?”

 

Oh, sweet Tosh. She always said the right thing. He tried to drag himself out of the eternal pit of despair his mind had been furnishing. He smiled at her. “Oh, you know… advanced technology.”

 

“Figures.” She snorted in disgust. “You have advanced skills in the field of vague and meaningless answers, Jack. I should make you a plaque. I’ll post it in your office.” Tosh shot a sarcastic repartee over his bow. It felt good when he chuckled.

 

* * *

 

 **THE SYCORAX LEADER DID HIS HAPPY DANCE** and shouted. “Ya! Sycorax!” He stood over the Doctor and savoured his triumph **.**  

 

The Doctor allowed him the moment. Then anger took over. He felt the Oncoming Storm swirling and building in his soul. “And now I know what sort of man I am. I'm lucky. Because quite by chance I'm still within the first fifteen hours of my regeneration cycle, which means I've got just enough residual cellular energy to do this.” He held up his arm and concentrated, hard. He redirected a great burst of regenerative energy towards the end of his arm. And quite miraculously, he grew a new hand to replace the one so rudely cut off.

 

Startled, the Sycorax leader hissed, “Witchcraft.” 

 

“Time Lord,” countered the Doctor. He grinned.

 

Rose shouted, trying to get his attention. “Doctor!” When he turned his head, she threw him another sword.

 

He was thankful; he did not intend to lose his new hand or the body attached to it for quite some time yet. “Oh, so I'm still the Doctor, then?” The barb was childish he knew, but he was still sore about her giving up on him. _Lucky. Childish. Check_.

 

Rose took it gladly. “No arguments from me!” Her megawatt grin shone, she was proud to be his friend.

 

The Doctor addressed the Sycorax leader, more determined than ever. “Want to know the best bit? This new hand? It's a fighting hand!” He leapt into the foray and pressed his opponent backwards. He’d pushed him off balance; he’d keep pushing until he fell. They fought for the planet, their swords clashing, muscles burning. Finally, the Doctor disarmed the Sycorax and knocked him to his knees. His sword fell and clanked loudly on the hull. The Doctor bent and picked it up. With both hilts, he dealt his opponent a double-thump to the abdomen, knocking him over. He was lying, belly up, right on the edge when the Doctor stood over him, victorious.

 

“I win,” he declared loudly, for all to hear. He pointed the tip of his sword at the leader of the Sycorax.

 

“Then kill me.” He’d lost. He’d shamed his line and his life was forfeit.

 

The Doctor wanted to end this peacefully. “I'll spare your life if you'll take this Champion's command. Leave this planet, and never return. What do you say?” It was still possible. He hoped he would take the offer. He’d seen enough death in the last day to last a lifetime. Let this be a day of peace after all.

 

The Sycorax leader blinked and then gave his answer.  “Yes.” 

 

 “Swear on the blood of your species,” the Doctor insisted.

 

The words came out reluctantly. “I swear.” Even as he said them, he knew the words were meaningless. This truce, it was an impossible thing. He was dead, either way. He had to die in battle. His family would be dishonored if he didn’t. He still had a chance to redeem himself. The humans are weak, too trusting.

 

The Doctor was overcome with relief. He didn’t want to kill. It went against everything inside of him. _Merciful. Check_. “There we are, then. Thanks for that. Cheers, big fellow.” Thankfully, he let the sword drop from his hand and left it where it fell.

 

The Prime Minister was bursting with pride. “Bravo!” she called while she clapped loudly. Her Doctor was amazing.

 

Rose joined in. “That says it all. Bravo!” She felt relief and exhaustion in equal measure.

 

They walked towards each other and the Doctor smiled at Rose. “Ah, not bad for a man in his jim-jams.” Rose nodded, still grinning. She held out the dressing gown and helped him put it on.  He took a good long look at his attire and slipped his hands into the pockets. “Very Arthur Dent. Now, there was a nice man. Hold on, what have I got in here? A Satsuma?” He looked at Rose curiously.

 

“Ah, that friend of your mothers. He does like his snacks doesn't he? But doesn't that just sum up Christmas? You go through all those presents and right at the end, tucked away at the bottom, there's always one stupid old Satsuma. Who wants a Satsuma?” The Doctor rambled. He very much hoped that his opponent would keep his promise but didn’t expect him to. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the Sycorax stand up.

 

He could not let this moment pass. He pulled himself up to his feet, his mind made up. He reached down, grabbed his sword and ran at the Doctor's back.

 

Disappointment won. He took a hold of the Satsuma and threw it at the control panel he’d seen earlier on the spaceship hull. As the button was depressed, a portion of the wing retracted, leaving the leader of the Sycorax without a hull to stand on. His face held a genuinely surprised expression as he fell to his death somewhere over the middle of London.

The Doctor turned just in time to see him fall. The Oncoming Storm burned in his eyes. “No second chances. I'm that sort of a man.” They made their way back to the center of the spaceship, where the TARDIS stood waiting. He raised his voice and addressed the Sycorax hoard. “By the ancient rites of combat, I forbid you to scavenge here for the rest of time. And when go you back to the stars and tell others of this planet, when you tell them of its riches, its people, its potential. When you talk of the Earth, make sure that you tell them this. IT IS DEFENDED!” Moments later, a blue teleportation field engulfed the lot of them and deposited Harriet, Alex, Rose, Mickey and the Doctor, alongside the TARDIS somewhere near Rose’s flat.

 

* * *

 

 **“HELL YA! IT IS DEFENDED!”** Jack did several air punches and almost clicked his heels together. I think the tension had gotten to him. He canted his head and wiggled his fingers at Owen. “Come on, admit it, he’s good. You have to admit it.” I was grinning like a fool. I was moved. If I were alone with Jack, I’d probably be skipping around the hub throwing air punches too. Once we figured out it was the Doctor, we were torn. Something pretty horrible had to have happened for him to stumble out of the TARDIS, close to the bad end of a global crisis, with a new face, in his pyjamas to boot. But the fact that he’d come at all… well that gave us all hope. His speech at the end had brought a little tear to my eye. Jack told us that for him to get a new face the Doctor must have died and regenerated. Our live feed from the Sycorax ship was cut off the moment they transported the survivors and the TARDIS down to the planet’s surface. We were getting reports now from people on the ground. London was in chaos. Cars left in the streets. Looting. Massive crowds trying to exit the city. Armed mobs ready to do battle.

 

“Jack. I’m getting an alert. Massive energy spike right in the center of London.” Tosh was switching to satellite view when we gathered behind her desk.

 

* * *

 

 **FIVE GREEN ENERGY BEAMS STREAKED UP INTO THE SKY** , met at a central point and then fired out into space. The Sycorax asteroid ship had been leaving orbit when it exploded. The blast wave shot out in all directions like a tsunami, destroying several orbiting satellites that had been in range. We had a clear view of the orbiting ship and the five beams for about five seconds. Then we lost the feed. From above, it looked like the five energy beams had been arranged in an equidistant star pattern but the destructive capabilities of this weapon made it the most deadly Christmas star London had ever seen.

 

We looked on in horror and realized Torchwood One had destroyed the alien spaceship even though it was leaving Earth peacefully. Jack was the first to speak. “Oh… the Doctor’s going to be mad.” Our eyes met. “Whoever’s responsible for this is going to be sorry.”

 

Owen frowned. “What’s the problem? They terrorized the planet for the better part of the day. They threatened to kill us or enslave us. They put Tosh through that. The bastards deserve to get blown to shit. I say good riddance.” He crossed his arms in closing. Tosh shrugged and made an _it-did-suck-an-awful-lot_ face.

 

I sighed. It was hard to argue with logic like that. Jack explained. “The Doctor went through all that just so he could find a peaceful solution. He doesn’t like guns.”

 

“Well maybe if there were more guns today the Major and that silly shit Llewellyn wouldn’t be dead,” Owen argued. 

 

“Maybe. I don’t know. Or, maybe it would’ve gotten worse a whole lot faster. Three people died up there. Two of ours and one of theirs. It could have been a whole lot worse. They could’ve started bombing from orbit the moment they arrived.”

 

Owen tilted his head in acknowledgement but he was still angry. “Fair point. I guess I’m just not a humanitarian. I’m a get even kind of guy.” He sat down on the sofa, next to Tosh, wrapped an arm around her shoulder and gave her a gentle squeeze. She closed her eyes, her head lolled against Owen. He’d sapped the last of his energy reserves arguing with Jack. Now all he wanted to do was sleep.

 

As we became lost in our own thoughts, a heavy silence fell over the hub. Exhaustion made talking difficult and walking nearly impossible. Except for Jack, who bounced around like a hummingbird on speed. I stood, with a lot of help from the desk in front of me. I was supporting my body on locked arms, my fingers wrapped in a vicelike grip around the edge of the desk. I was contemplating my options. Desk. Office chair. Floor. Stinky chair in the corner. I was trying to approximate their distances in my head so I could calculate the cost benefit ratio associated with each move. I just couldn’t justify the effort required to move to any other location so I stayed where I was for the time being.

 

Jack bounced up behind me, making me tense. He placed his hands gently around my tight shoulder muscles then dipped soothingly down my back and then back up to rest at my neck.  He leaned forward, rested his chin in the crook of my neck and announced decidedly, “You’re way too tense.” He hummed, pondering. “You know what you need?” He spun me around and once we were face-to-face he pointed a finger into my chest. He smiled playfully and then quirked an eyebrow suggestively. “A couple of hyper-vodkas would really do the trick.” I shook my head and pressed my lips together in an uneven line.

 

Owen and Tosh looked at each other, sighed in unison then let their heads fall back limply against the back of the sofa. “You know what we really need?” Owen paused, making sure he had our attention then mimed a two-fingered-joint grip. Then he said with absolute seriousness, “A little weed and a little Thai massage.”

 

I snorted embarrassingly loud. I had to admit the prospect of achieving a state of relaxed apathy sounded tempting. I had to laugh at Jack’s shocked expression.

 

“What?!” Owen challenged. “A hyper-vodka is okay but a joint isn’t?” He harrumphed. “Nobody ever died from weed Jack.”

 

Jack had to admit, he’d died quite a few times from overindulging in hyper-vodkas and it wasn’t a nice way to go.

 

I smiled, knowingly and gave them another option. “How about a little turkey instead?”

 

**_Continued in… 19 – Christmas Gifts_ **

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I found a transcription of the script online and built the chapter around it.


	19. Christmas Gifts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dec 25, 2005 – after 8PM

## 

DECEMBER 25, 2005, 8:48 PM

 **“OOOOH,” JACK WHINED. “COME ON!”** He complained loudly. Frankly, he was getting peeved. He was tired. And he’d just gotten comfortable. Jack pushed his chair out from the table and stomped over to the nearest terminal. It was his turn to check the rift alert. Fair and square. It had been bleeping all bloody night. _The Torchwood Christmas Curse_. That’s what we’d taken to calling it. Christmas was always crazy. Sometimes dangerous. Sometimes almost the end of the world. It was especially bad if you lived in London. In Cardiff, it was usually small to medium sized emergencies. Bored Weevils, lost intergalactic tourists, that kind of thing. Nothing on the global disaster scale. “My turkey’s gonna get cold!” He was scowling like an eight year old and still complaining loudly. The rest of the team paid very little attention, as they were busy tucking into their Christmas dinner.

 

“I’ll warm it up for you Jack.” I assured him with a cheeky grin.

 

“Gee thanks.” He shot back. He took a close look at the report and then flicked through the CCTV footage. “Oh, it’s nothing. Just a Weevil sighting. It’s only one… it’ll probably go back to the sewers by itself.” He shot a sly look over at the team. “What?” he asked, sounding a little defensive. He got a look from each of us, ranging from disapproval to amusement. “It’s a freakin holiday. That’s what you keep telling me. So I’m gonna eat my holiday dinner that Ianto so thoughtfully provided for us.”

 

“Good.” I said in spite of Owen’s reproving look. “Come and sit down. We all deserve a break. No one is in any shape to chase a stupid Weevil. One of us will just end up dead,” I added seriously.

 

Tosh nodded emphatically. “I’m blasted. No way I’m getting up. Not even sure I can make it home.” She looked like hell. Her face was ashen, her thick black hair hung limply. Her wrists were bruised and bloody as were her ankles. Her stomach hurt from the strain of trying to escape her bonds for four straight hours.

 

Owen hadn’t _stopped_ scowling since six o’clock this morning. He’d been a complete mess the whole day. He’d been in agony right alongside Tosh as she struggled relentlessly to free herself. The compulsion had been strong. She said she couldn’t remember a thing but I thought I saw something in her eyes that told me a different story. He started slamming shots around 8 AM. Then when frustration got the better of him, he threw the shot-glass against the wall. So after that he just drank from the bottle. It went downhill from there. He’d actually cleaned the hub out, drank every single drop of Jack’s booze, even found the emergency booze hidden in various places around the hub. Owen didn’t take too kindly to feeling useless or ineffectual.

 

Jack was wound up so tight he could barely sit still. It was impressive considering his current state of exhaustion. So in typical Jack fashion he pushed himself and kept his body in constant motion. He was dead on his feet, his body vibrating with pent up tension. He was also bleary eyed and uncoordinated so it wasn’t a big surprise that he managed to trip and/or bump into nearly every object he encountered.

 

 **I’D BEEN FEELING STRANGE ALL EVENING** ever since the main event had died down. My mind was shrouded in a thick unfamiliar cloud and periodically I’d gasp uncontrollably as my senses were bombarded and overcome by an impending sense of doom that seemed to permeate the air. Owen was scrutinizing me openly and I knew he’d caught me flinching from the pain and gasping in shock earlier. I tried to brush it off but he was operating at zero tolerance for _Torchwood-related-employee-medical-issues_ so he continued to follow me with the keen observant eyes of a highly trained physician.

 

“Bloody fucking hell!” Owen shouted in disgust. “I’m totally fucking sober. And I’m out of booze!” He held his pounding head between his hands. He couldn’t quite hold it still. It was beating to the damn rumba and some stupid tap-dancer was doing a number on the inside of his eyes. He stood up, picked up his empty paper plate and dumped it in the trash bin. I thought it was quite considerate of him all things considered. “Jack…” he lowered his voice a few notches. “I’m going to sedate you if you can’t still your body.” It was an effective threat. Jack stilled his bouncing leg, stopped thumping his fork against the table and clamped his lips together. He managed an impressive moment of calm. But that was it. His breathing sped up and he shot up out of the chair. He stuck out his tongue at Owen and sprinted up the stairs to his office without a backwards glance. “Right. He’s out of the way.” Owen muttered under his breath.  Then he caught me in his net and reeled me in. “You.” He pointed at me. “Med Bay. Now.” He walked gingerly across the floor and down the steps.

 

 _Oh shit_ , I thought. _What now?_ I followed the terrifying doctor down into his lair. When I came around the corner, he was injecting himself with a rather large dose of his _super-alien-pain-killer_ concoction. “Come on.” He chin pointed to the chair opposite him. “I’ve got to get this pounding under control. I can’t think straight. I was gonna go with the ‘keep drinking until I pass out method’ but I ran out of booze. This will have to do.” He plopped down in a chair, his head fell back and his face smoothed out. “Oh. That is _so_ much better.” He sighed. “This shit is great.” He was pretty proud of his new mixture. “You’re in pain.” It was a statement. “Where does it hurt?” He demanded in a terse voice.

 

I swallowed nervously. This was going to sound crazy. But it really hurt. “My head.” I said quietly.

 

“How does it hurt? Where?” He pressed. His mind was clear and he was instantly concerned.

 

I thought and I struggled for the words to explain. “It’s not like any headache I’ve ever had. It’s not a pounding or even a sharp stabbing. It’s like a wave. A really painful, huge wave.” He looked at me blankly so I went on. “It’s not inside.” I whispered, sure he would mock me. He didn’t, he just nodded. “It’s coming from somewhere outside my head. And I know that sounds bat-shit crazy so don’t start with me—”

 

He cut me off. “—How often?” He sounded serious and it took me aback.

 

“Ah… it’s not consistent. For a while, it was every few minutes. While we were eating it only came once or twice.”

 

“When exactly?” He picked up a notepad and shifted his chair a little closer.

 

I thought, hard. “When Jack was checking the rift alert. And then when Tosh was talking about… _ahh_ … going home.” I couldn’t see a pattern. It just didn’t make any sense.

 

He frowned, jotted down a few notes then set the note-pad on the counter. “Get up there. I’ll check you out.” He waited for me to switch seats and he retrieved the deep tissue scanner from the cabinet. He scanned the back of my neck and then my head. He ran the scanner over my skin slowly and watched the readout carefully for any anomaly. “You’re blood pressure is high, really high but that could be due to stress. Your adrenals are doing a marathon and _wow…_ your brain activity is off the charts.” He took out a pen light and checked my pupillary response. “How are you feeling right now?” Suddenly his tone was a lot more compassionate than before.

 

“I… I feel kind of dizzy. Like I stood up too fast.” I rolled my eyes. “That’s stupid though because I’m sitting down.” I gripped my head with one hand and massaged my scalp. “I feel a wave now but it’s not as painful as it was up there. I don’t get it.” I was so frustrated.

 

“Hmmm.” He made a thoughtful sound and checked a file on his computer. “Did you have this before today?”

 

“Not really. Well maybe.” I admitted after a moment’s thought. “I think I felt a little wave yester...” Then something went _CLICK_ and my inner, more clever, often ignored voice lobbed a _Duh_ and a _No shit, Batman_ at me. My eyes grew wide as I realized where I’d felt this sensation before.

 

“What? What is it?” Owen was on alert. He’d seen my face change and now he wanted answers.

 

I chewed on my bottom lip and waggled my cheeks around a bit as I deliberated. “I think you should call Jack.” I mumbled. I hadn’t told Jack yet that I could sense him. I hadn’t really had a chance. My inner-cheeky-yet-honest-monkey shouted _Liar!_ I was totally chicken shit scared to tell him. I didn’t fancy telling Owen before I told him. That would be way worse.

 

Owen picked up his phone, dialed Jack’s extension and waited impatiently for him to answer. He was tapping his foot to an angry beat and scowling again.

 

“Yep,” answered Jack.

 

“Get down here. Now,” he demanded. Then he hung up.

 

Jack came down the steps two at a time, skidded around the corner at a run and overshot it. He bumped into the corner as he came around it and cursed loudly. “Ouch!” He was panting by the time he made it down the stairs. “What? What’s happened?” His eyes landed on me and they bugged out in concern. “What’s wrong with you?” he asked in earnest.

 

“I’m fine Jack. Calm down. You’re going to blow a gasket.” I looked to Owen for back-up and saw he was looking at Jack with narrowed evaluative eyes. _Ah_ , I thought. _He didn’t just call him down here for me_ … The wave came crashing down and I almost blacked out from the pain. By the time I could open my eyes I was lying down on the bed and both Owen and Jack were standing over me. “Aaaraghh… Fuck me! That hurts...” I groaned in pain.

 

“Does it always get worse when he’s around?” Owen asked. He was a perceptive fellow. Must be why he gets paid the big-bucks.

 

I nodded and clenched my eyes together. The wave kept coming. “Jack!” I gasped. “Stop it!” I begged. I’d curled up into a foetal position and wrapped my arms uselessly around my skull.

 

Jack reached out fearfully and stroked my back. “What do mean? What am I doing?” He was looking at Owen, desperately trying to figure this out.

 

“Didn’t you tell me once… a few years ago… that you have some telepathic abilities?” ventured Owen. When Jack nodded but still looked confused he continued on. “I think you must be projecting… and he’s picking up your…” Owen shrugged apologetically. “Pain,” he said finally.

 

Jack’s eyes widened and he too gasped. He pulled his hand away like it was burning. He closed his eyes and focussed inwards. He closed himself off and constructed a sturdy barrier around his mind. The instant he finished my entire body relaxed. My muscles went so lax I nearly oozed off the bed. “Oh thank god.” I sighed in relief. I lie there a moment relishing the silence and my newfound painless state. I sighed again. “Thank you for whatever you just did. It just shut off the wave. The pain is totally gone.” I tried to sit up but they pressed me backwards. They were concerned that I’d hurt myself. I looked at Owen and pursed my lips. “Owen could you give us a moment in private? Trust me… you don’t want to hear this.” I assured him, my tone of voice left no doubt in his mind as to the subject matter of the upcoming conversation so he nodded and strode stiffly up the stairs.

 

“What’s going on? Are you alright?” Jack was concerned and at his wits end.

 

  
I nodded and reached for his hand. I felt like such a schmuck. “I’ve been feeling kinda funny lately.” I began. “Especially when we’re touching.” He listened in silence. “It started the other day but I didn’t know what it was. Then again yesterday when we kissed.” His eyebrows shot up. “And _ahh_ … when we were in bed.” I sighed and closed my eyes for a few seconds. “I think I can sense your feelings Jack.” I finally got it out. I waited for his reaction. I thought maybe he’d be mad. Annoyed that I hadn’t told him sooner. Irritated that I’d invaded his privacy. His lips curled up and the smile grew until it spread across his gorgeous face. He leaned towards me and kissed me soundly.

 

 

“Ianto Jones, have you been reading my mind?” His eyes sparkled and there was a playful song in his voice.

 

I blinked, several times. Then I smiled too. “I guess. But not—you know—words. I can just feel how you feel.” I saw him in a new light. “Guess you’ve been pretty stressed today.” It made a lot more sense now, all his bouncing and twitching.  He was seriously freaked out. “Lots of worries.” I whispered. “The… device, the Sycorax, Tosh… a new Doctor.” I listed the culprits and I caressed his face.

 

“You two finished making out yet?” Owen bellowed from the top of the stairs. “I have had enough shit today. I want answers. Now.” He was fed up. Needed to feel necessary. After the day we’d had.

 

Jack looked questioningly at me and I nodded. Owen saw our exchange and nearly started ranting but Jack turned to him and smiled. “Well, apparently Ianto’s developed some empathic abilities.” He smiled gamely, chuckled at Owen’s look of surprise. “I haven’t had to shield myself for years. No one around to worry about. He’s been getting bombarded all day and his defenses are low. He needs to rest, I’m sure you’ll agree.” He waited for Owen’s terse nod and then continued. “And tomorrow… we’ll start your training.” He turned to me. “You’ll need to learn how to shield yourself first. Too much input really hurts—as you now know—so that’s the most important thing to learn.”

 

Owen sighed and shook his head in dismay. “I don’t have any experience with this Jack. I’ll need some literature and some info on how to treat any side-effects.” Jack nodded in agreement and assured him that he’d get the info tomorrow. Tonight we all needed some sleep.

 

Owen yawned and his eyes watered. He was utterly knackered. “I’ll collect Tosh and make sure she gets home safe and sound.” He patted me on the shoulder. “You tell me if the pain comes back, ya?” He was a good doctor our Owen. “Goodnight you two.” He snatched up his coat and called a taxi for him and Tosh.

 

Owen must have briefed her because a few moments later she came down to see if I was okay. I told her I felt almost good and she frowned when Jack chuckled. “It’s okay. I feel much better now.” I hugged her and urged her to take care of herself. “You should sleep. For as long as you possibly can.”

 

Jack piped in. “And don’t even think about coming in tomorrow. Take the day off, Tosh.” He commanded and waited for her reluctant nod.

 

I rearranged the sprig of mistletoe I’d pinned to her jacket earlier in the evening. “Look Tosh, you’re a walking kiss magnet.” I leaned in and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. She smiled prettily and hugged me again.

 

“Ooh!—ooh—ooh—ooh!” Jack bounced and jiggled in excitement. “My turn!” He wrapped his arms around her slender form, dipped her dramatically and kissed her hard until she sputtered. “Happy Christmas, Tosh.” He added and then let her go. She waved over her shoulder as she made her way up the med bay steps. They left arm in arm, supporting each other out into the cold dark night.

 

 **OUTSIDE, TOSH AND OWEN STOOD WAITING FOR A TAXI.** Owen was exhausted. He’d been so concerned about Tosh today, felt so useless, powerless to help. She’d been brave and trusting. Now, she clung to him tightly, for support and comfort.

 

She smiled and played with the sprig of mistletoe pinned to her lapel. She chuckled, her cheeks colored a touch as she remembered her two kisses. Owen looked down and it seemed to be calling out to him, taunting him into action. She looked up at him and their eyes locked. They met somewhere in the middle, as you do when you’ve been waiting for someone to kiss you for a long, long time.

 

 **JACK HELPED ME UP OUT OF MY CHAIR AND PULLED ME ALONG** under protest past the messy dinner table and down into the safety of his bunker. We dropped our clothes piece by piece along the route to the shower. Few words were spoken; our touches said all we wanted to say. Once we were standing under the scalding hot stream of water and Jack had managed to wrap his body around mine he whispered in my ear. “I thought I felt something shift a few days ago.” He murmured in my ear. “I wasn’t sure though when you didn’t say anything. But I’ve been feeling your emotions too,” he finally admitted. He looked deep into my eyes, mesmerized me with those swirling blue pools. I felt trapped, in a good way. Trapped in his warmth. Safe in his embrace. “I’m sorry. I didn’t notice you were in pain.” He’d been so wrapped up in his own.

 

“We’ve been a tad distracted today, Jack. I think it’s forgivable.” I whispered back. I cupped his cheek with my palm and then slid it behind his head. My fingers combed through his wet hair. “I can’t feel you now. Are you shielding?” He nodded and I frowned a little. “Are you going to shield from now on?” He smiled and shook his head from side to side.

 

“I’m just trying to give your poor brain a break.” He brushed a finger across my temple. “I promise I won’t keep you out. It’s been a long time since I could communicate this way. In some ways… I prefer it to words. It’s so much… simpler.” He took the bar of soap in his hands and began lathering my chest; his hands snaked around my hip and over my arse.

 

I sighed in relief. “I was worried about your reaction. I thought maybe you’d be irritated by the invasion.” I admitted my fears candidly. I groaned when his soapy hands ran between my legs. We were barely standing on our own without support from the wall. “I’m a bit tired.” I said.

 

He nodded. “Me too.” He leaned back until he was flush against the tiled wall and then he pulled me to him. Our lower bodies locked into place. His slick hands wrapped around my cock and pressed it to his. He stroked us at a languid pace and our groans filled the steamy air. My toes curled when he kissed me. I’d never get enough of his mouth, so hot and wet—a blur of teeth and lips and tongue. He nipped and I sucked. A battle ensued as it always did. The good kind; there were no losers here, only winners. My hands roamed his flesh, squeezed and stroked and teased. I played with his body like my favorite toy and I reveled in the filthy sounds drawn from between those lips. We danced our little dance and when our bodies tensed, I laced my fingers between his. We stroked frantically now until our release. Then we both sighed and leaned a little harder against the tiled wall.

 

We stumbled to bed still slightly damp, not a drop of energy to spare. I wrapped my arms around him and we twined our legs together under the warm blanket on his ridiculously narrow bed. My last thought before I drifted off was:  _I need to get him a wider bed_.

 

**_Continued in… 20 – House Calls_ **

 


	20. House Calls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boxing Day, 2005
> 
> * Reference to DW1.13-The Parting of the Ways

BOXING DAY, 2005

**IT WAS EARLY—WAY TOO FRACKIN EARLY** —when the rift alarm started bleeping again. “Your turn,” Jack groaned. He was right. It was definitely my turn. I rolled out of bed, my body reeled in shock as my feet hit the hard cold floor and my skin braced against the cold damp air. “Damn you Cardiff,” I muttered disdainfully. Even my goose bumps were shivering.

 

I stumbled down the grating metal steps and slammed my hand down on the alarm button, mercifully cutting it off. I brought up the monitor so I could see what the hell was going on. According to the rift monitor, there’d been no activity. What we had was a proximity alert. I checked the CCTV cameras overlooking the Plas and I was shocked by what I saw. I hollered, “Jack! Jack, you’d better get down here. You’re gonna want to see this!” I was grinning ear to ear.

 

I heard him groan loudly and curse in a language I’d never heard before. “What the hell is it?” He popped his head through the manhole that led down into his bedroom. _Sex pit._ “It better be good.” He was in a foul mood; he’d been hoping to sleep in. He reached the top of the stairs and stretched like an old cat, creaking and complaining.

 

I pushed out my chair and stood up. I had a feeling his mood was about to improve. “Oh, it is.” My grin was face splitting. “We have a visitor.” He looked at me blankly. “There’s a little blue box parked next to the lift.”

 

“You’re kidding me?” He covered the distance between us quickly. I pointed to the screen showing the Plas and the Doctor’s TARDIS. He smiled, then pursed his lips. He took a step and looked like he was about to pace. Only, he kind of froze. The look on his face said he may have forgotten how. He was nervous. “I gotta get dressed,” he announced, having finally come to a decision. He trotted up the steps, scurried down the ladder and jumped to the ground bypassing the last two steps. He put on his uniform—white undershirt, blue shirt, dark trousers and his braces—in record time. I took a little longer and a little more care getting dressed to see the Doctor. I choose a dress casual ensemble. I was aiming for versatility. Knowing the Doctor’s penchant for finding trouble, tea could easily turn into chaos; we could end up anywhere in space and time doing just about anything. By the time I made it back down to the hub, Jack was just finishing up in the bathroom. His face was damp, his hair was sticking straight up and his shirtsleeves were rolled up over his forearms. He was ready to get down to business.

 

I put a pot of coffee on because no matter who was waiting, I didn’t voluntarily start my day without an adequate jolt of coffee. That’s when Jack decided to start pacing, impatiently. “Do you want a cup of coffee or not?” Stern. He fluttered his lovely blue eyes and smiled like a naughty puppy caught doing something bad or annoying. The puppy knows his best defense is cute. He whispered his thanks and kissed me on the cheek. Mostly, because that’s what I offered. I hadn’t brushed my teeth yet.

 

Once fortified and cleaned, I presented myself and declared my readiness. He was a bundle of nerves. I knew what he was thinking. _What if he just left? What if he got tired of waiting? What if? What if? What if?_ But I knew he was dead wrong. I’d checked. The TARDIS had appeared, presumably uncloaked at 6:38:04 AM. He’d arrived while we slept. He hadn’t come knocking. However, he had presented himself, parked the TARDIS out in the open. He knew we’d see him. He was waiting for us to come to him.

 

We took the invisible lift up to the Plas. Mostly, because it’s cool. He gripped my hand in his. We stepped off the paving stone together. It was only a few paces away. I smiled at Jack. He was running his hand over the front door reverentially. He loved this old girl. His favorite ship, hands down. I couldn’t feel her yet. But I remembered her mental hum fondly. Finally, Jack rapped on the door.

 

The Doctor answered right away. It was as if he’d been standing at the door waiting for our knock. The little blue door swung inwards, revealing the same man we’d seen on our monitors only without the pyjamas. He grinned and greeted us keenly. His hair stood at attention, his brown pinstripe suit hung crisp and neat. He invited us in with a sweep of his arm. “Jack. Ianto.” His soft brown eyes held an intensity that was hard to meet. He exuded power and nervous energy. It was hard, looking at him; I couldn’t see anything left of our Doctor at all. He was completely changed. We were nervous; it felt like we were meeting a superstar for the first time. He was nervous too; he had a reason for being here, he just hadn’t got to it yet.

 

So we followed him, this new Doctor, to the kitchen. Even that had changed. He had the table set for three. He was chain-drinking tea, couldn’t get enough of the stuff. He served up a strange, mishmash of food. He seemed to be sampling, going through a process of elimination. “Everything all right Doctor?” Jack seemed concerned by the Doctor’s unusual behaviour. “I thought you liked bananas?”

 

“Oh, I did. Yes.” He frowned. “But this new mouth doesn’t seem to enjoy the texture very much.” He stuffed a rather large, juicy looking strawberry into his gob and his eyes went wide. He moaned, loudly. He rubbed his cheeks in delight. “Strawberries! Of course. I love these. They’re brilliant, they are.”

 

I gave the prospect of having to start over with my taste buds some consideration. “That must be frustrating.” He hummed. His mouth was still full. “You have to figure out what you like all over again?” He nodded. “Everything?” He nodded again. “That sounds rather tedious.” My comment sparked a thought and he swallowed the mouthful of strawberries.

 

“Weeelll. It can be. It can also be exciting and new. Wait... Isn’t that from the _Love Boat_?” He continued on when we stared back at him blankly. “Sorry. I keep having startlingly clear flashbacks of old sitcom theme tunes.” He smiled and passed another beauty to Jack. “Here, Jack. Try this. It’s absolutely perfect.” He looked like an eager three year old, proudly giving away his favourite toy. My eyes settled on his fighting hand once or twice. It hardly stayed still long enough for a good inspection.

 

Jack took the proffered strawberry and popped it into his mouth. He made a little noise, clearly appreciating the flavor explosion. But after a moment of serious thought, Jack caught my eye. I saw him arrive at a decision. “So. Doctor.” Jack began, uncertain. “How’s the hand?” He hadn’t meant to say that. It just popped out at the last minute. He’d meant to ask _why he was here_ , _where he had been_ , _why he’d been late_ and at the very least _why a sword fight_. Sometimes, it’s hard to believe your mouth is attached to a brain. Your brain. You’d think you’d have more control over the things that come out of it.

 

The thing is, the Doctor’s rather clever. He does have a brain the size of a planet after all. He knew exactly what Jack meant to say. Slowly, his soft brown doe eyes levelled and came to rest on Jack’s face. They met his eyes for a fraction of a second. Then his gaze fell and stayed on his hands, which were clamped together tightly in his lap.  His voice was quiet, too quiet. “I needed… I needed to tell you what happened.” He cleared his throat, nervously. “I have to explain. I’m so sorry Jack. I couldn’t go back. I couldn’t cross my timeline and I was dying—”

 

Jack blinked rapidly, pursed his lips. He held up a hand to stop the rambling. “Doc. Doctor. Stop. Wait. Slow down.” He leaned forward, rested his hand on top of the Doctor’s, gently. “What are you talking about?”

 

“Satellite-5…” The Doctor whispered the words and Jack jerked. The Doctor closed his eyes, ashamed and fearful of Jack’s anger. He waited for the shouting, the anger, the demands… something. But they never came. For the time being, Jack had mastered his emotions. He was still focussed on screening himself from me and it made it easier to keep himself in check.

 

“What happened?” Jack managed to ask.

 

The Doctor took a deep breath and steeled himself. “The last time you saw me, I made a promise. I said I’d stop by the next time I was in town. I decided to pop over while Rose visits with her mum and Mickey.” At the mention of Rose’s name, Jack’s eyes lit up. I must be a petty, jealous man because I had a number of rather nasty thoughts about Rose in those few minutes. The green-eyed monster sat on my shoulder and taunted me. I must also be quite transparent because Jack turned and looked at me. He smiled, reached for my hand instead of the Doctor’s. I felt like a cad. “The last few days have been… horrible.” He ran a hand through his already wild hair. Then he said something I thought I’d never hear. “I’ve figured out what happened to you.” The Doctor looked sick with remorse.

 

I hadn’t been expecting this. This was new, as far as I knew. Something had happened to change the timeline. The Doctor had come to see Jack way ahead of schedule. And he’d come with answers. “Have you got anything stronger?” I asked, knowing Jack’s likely reaction to the Doctor’s story.

**_Continued in… 21 – Making Lemonade_ **

 


	21. Making Lemonade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boxing Day, December 26, 2005 continued
> 
> * Reference to DW1.13-The Parting of the Ways

##   **  
**

BOXING DAY, 2005

**“I KNEW THE MOMENT THE DALEKS REACHED YOU.** I heard you tell them to open fire. I heard you scream at the top of your lungs. And one by one, they were picked off, exterminated. All those brave, trusting souls, they died for me. They always die for _the Doctor.”_ He spat out his name, his tone dripping with scorn and self-loathing. “Because they believe in me!” He paused. Took a breath. “I was struggling to fix that blasted thing. But then I heard Linda scream. They found her too.” He bit his lip. “She should have been safe.” His voice broke and quavered. “I told her she’d be safe, Jack.” The Doctor wrapped his long fingers around his head and shuddered. “I promised.”

 

“I know Doc.” Jack nodded and sighed, remembering. I gripped his hand more tightly.

 

“I was almost there. Almost there Jack! And then… and then… by then you sounded desperate. You screamed and you begged me to fix that stupid thing. You told me you were the last man standing. Oh, Rassilon. Jack, I am sooo sorry. I couldn’t fix it in time.” For the Doctor, it had been a matter of hours. His memories were fresh, vivid. For Jack, so much more time had passed. Unfortunately, time had not diminished his memories.  They were painful, had haunted him for hundreds of years.  Then the Doctor blurted, “She looked into the TARDIS.” The non sequitur threw us both for a loop.

 

“Who did?” Jack was struggling to follow the Doctor’s train of thought. He was struggling with his emotions. He kept getting sucked into his own, painful memories.

 

The Doctor met his gaze. “Rose.” He said quietly.

 

“Why’d she do that?” In shock, Jack’s question ended in a shriek.

 

“You know, I sent her away.” The Doctor explained. He looked to Jack for reassurance. Jack nodded. He’d been so happy at the time. Proud of the Doctor for taking care of her, for sending her to safety.

 

“I remember.” Jack assured him.

 

“And then you told me I had seconds left. They were chasing you down the corridors.”

 

“I remember Doc. I ran out of ammo. I was cornered. The last thing I heard was ‘Exterminate’.”

 

“Even to the last,” he looked at me and smiled. “He was full of cheek.” He turned to Jack and finished. “I heard you die.” He sniffled. “I’m so sorry, Jack. So sorry.” The Doctor covered his face. “You… sacrificed everything Jack. You gave me the seconds I needed to finish the repairs.” He was shaking. “But then I was surrounded. They were everywhere.” He sought my eyes, then Jack’s. “I had them. I could’ve used it. But then I’d kill every living thing in this solar system. And I just couldn’t do it. I was a coward. Sometimes, I think I love the Earth too much.”

 

“Oh, Doctor.” I sighed and I felt such sympathy for him.

 

“Then I just gave up Jack.” He sounded hollow and his eyes were dull. “I gave myself up. I was ready to die. I couldn’t bear it another second.”

 

“No,” gasped Jack.

 

He nodded. “But then I heard her, the TARDIS. I heard her materialize.” He took a deep breath and then launched into his story. “And then Rose opened the door and she was emanating this brilliant light. It was terrifying. So bright, absolutely blinding. She looked into the Time Vortex.” He gasped. He paused and we saw a shudder pass through him. “The TARDIS went into Rose. She said she was the BAD WOLF. She was so powerful Jack. She deflected an energy beam with her hand.” The Doctor sounded incredulous. “She created herself. She left clues through time and space. She scattered the words BAD WOLF everywhere. We thought they were following us but we were following them.” He pulled at his hair. He looked crazed now, like someone coming unhinged. “Don’t you see, Jack.” He pleaded. “She led us to that exact point so she could do what she was meant to do. She did it for ME!” His hands thrashed through the air, conducting his frantic rant. The Doctor was clearly agitated and his words tumbled out with barely a breath between them. “She told me. She wanted me safe, _her_ Doctor. She just wanted to protect me from the Daleks.” His voice was so quiet now. He sounded so ashamed. “She scattered their atoms with her mind.”

 

“Whose?” Jack shrugged. He was stunned. He hadn’t expected this. He could barely keep up with the Doctor’s frenetic train of thought.

 

“All of them.” He waved a hand through the air, game show style. “The Daleks. With a wave of her hand she scattered their atoms.”

 

“Holy shit.” I blurted.

 

He nodded. “She said she’d finally ended the Time War. Then I tried Jack. I tried to stop her before she did anything else but she refused to give up the power. Rose, she said she needed to do good. She needed to bring life after all that death, I suppose. I didn’t know what she meant at the time.” He pleaded.

 

“What did you do? How did you save her?” Jack needed to know what happened. He still couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

 

“I… I took it back.” The Doctor said uneasily.

 

“How?” Jack asked tentatively, afraid of the answer.

 

“With a kiss.” He said softly, reverently.

 

Jack smiled, wistfully thinking of that kiss. Then after a moment he asked, “but how can you hold that much power?”

 

“I can’t.” He spoke, just above a whisper. “I sent it back to the TARDIS. But she was unconscious and all I could think was… _get Rose to safety_. I’m sorry Jack. I should’ve guessed she was talking specifically about you. I didn’t know until a second before we dematerialized. I saw it on the monitor. One life sign. And I panicked. I’m so ashamed. I’m so ashamed Jack. I left you there, all alone.”

 

Jack waited a beat and then he asked the question he’d been desperately seeking the answer to for too many years to count. “Why didn’t you come back? That’s all I want to know. Did I do something wrong?” There was fear in his eyes and his voice was bleak.

 

“No! No, no, no, no. Jack you didn’t do anything. I couldn’t.” He shook his head. He’d been so worried that Jack would be angry. But he was hurt, so very hurt. And _that_ was much worse. “I… I regenerated almost immediately. I had to get to the Vortex.” The Doctor leapt to his feet and he paced across the small space with jerky steps.

 

Jack blinked. I thought maybe I saw a glimmer at the corner of his eye. “Oh, Doc. I had no idea. So… you died right after you left the station?” He never imagined this.

 

“Yep.” He dragged a hand through his unruly hair and gave it a vicious tug.

 

“Damn.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“How long ago for you?” Jack asked after a moment’s thought.

 

“A matter of hours – maybe a day… day and a half. I lost track. I was out for a bit. Not long though.”

 

“I can’t believe it. It’s been… so long. Hundreds of years for me.” Jack shook his head. Disbelief battled with overwhelming sadness.

 

“Oh Jack. I’m so sorry. I see why you were so angry the last time we saw each other.”

 

“Ya, well… if it hadn’t been for Ianto… we wouldn’t have seen each other at all.”

 

“No. Probably not.” Then he turned to me and said in a stern voice, “I looked into that. You’ve been a naughty boy, Mr. Jones.” He gave me a pointed look that promised a lot of ear-dragging in my near future.

 

I had no reply so I clamped my lips together and my whole body tensed in apprehension. Then I watched as the Doctor looked at Jack, remorse and something else in his eyes. Jack caught both our looks and frowned. “Take it easy there Doctor. He’s done nothing but help. He’s been careful. He hasn’t told me much of anything. He just warns me sometimes. He’s very careful.”

 

The Doctor gave Jack a good hard look. Then he nodded slightly and shrugged. “If you say so, Jack.” He patted him on the back and smiled. “But I just need to chat with Ianto in private for a mo. Would you mind?”

 

“Of course not. I’ll be in the console room.” He smiled, patted me on the shoulder and closed the door behind him.

 

As Jack left the room the Doctor looked at me and shrugged. He shrugged a lot, this new Doctor. “So Ianto, how have things been? Have any more incidents like that co-worker—I mean ex-co-worker you were telling me about?”

 

I looked at my knees, thought about my answer then looked carefully into those deep all-seeing eyes. I wondered for the hundredth time what kind of man could change his eyes. I was more than a little frightened of the Time Lord in that moment. He was so powerful—almost all-powerful. He’d defeated the leader of the Sycorax in hand-to-hand combat with a bloody big sword. He wasn’t even a big man. He was a bit on the skinny side to tell the truth. And he had crazy hair to boot. The Time Lord frowned and ran his fighting hand through his wayward hair, which frightened the shit right out of me. My eyes grew wide with concern. _He’s read my mind_ , I realized. My heart began pounding at an uneven rhythm; the tune was aptly named ‘run, run away’. My hands wrapped around the edge of the chair. I swallowed loudly and finally organized my thoughts. _I’m being rude_ , I thought. _I’m taking so long… he’s bound to be angry with me._ “I… I’ve used my knowledge a few… few times.” I swallowed. “Sir.”

 

His face softened and he leaned forward slightly. “Now, now, no need to be afraid. I won’t hurt you. You’re not in any danger. Just relax. It’s only me.” He tried to assure me with kind words and a smile.

 

I swallowed again. I needed some water. My mouth felt like a desert or at the very least a very LARGE sand-box. He chuckled and reached for the bottle of water sitting on the table. “That’s quite the ability you’ve got there. It’s actually one of the things I wanted to talk to you about.”

 

I frowned, my head jerked back and I ventured on. “Wh… what do you mean?”

 

“Your telepathy. You can really send. I can hear you loud and clear.” He chuckled again. “A sand-box. That’s really funny,” he assured me. “Can Jack hear you?” he asked. His face had changed. It was serious again but his eyes still glittered.

 

“Er. I don’t think so. Emotions, ya. But… not thoughts. I don’t think. If he can, he’s not letting on.” I shrugged. “I just figured it out yesterday. I’m not very good. I thought my head was going to explode with all the input.” I needed to change the subject. My mouth obliged and spouted a string of gibberish. “We watched you. On the ship. We saw the fight. Your hand… Is it okay? Does it hurt?”

 

“No. It’s fine. Just like new.” He wiggled his fighting hand in the air, made a fist, then spread his fingers wide.

 

“That’s… that’s pretty amazing. Hellova party trick.” I continued with the gibberish.

 

He winked and took a deep sip of tea. “You’ll need some help. Some training. Telepathy—even empathy—can be quite painful if you don’t know how to control it. Has Jack offered to help?”

I nodded emphatically. “Yes, today we’re going to work on building a mental barrier.”

 

He smiled. “Good. Good. Well, that’s sorted. If you need any help just call me. I’ll help if I can.”

 

“Thank you.” I considered, decided now would be a good time to clear the air. “Doctor, I hope you know we had nothing to do with the destruction of the Sycorax ship.” I knew Jack wanted him to know.

 

His eyes slid shut. “I know. I know. But thank you for saying so.” I smiled and nodded. “I was so angry. It was so unnecessary.” He set his teacup on the table rather forcefully. “Let’s go find Jack. If we leave him alone too long he’s bound to get into some kind of trouble. He’ll probably start rewiring something.”

 

“You’re not wrong. He has a very short attention span.”

 

“You noticed that, did you?”

 

I nodded. “Oh, yes.”

 

He made a funny, nervous kind of noise. “How... ahem… are things between you two? Have there been any unforeseen consequences of your early meeting?”

 

My face twitched. “Well. Not much. Let’s see. I never went to London. I got a job with Torchwood Three much sooner. I’ve started a relationship with Jack much, much sooner. Other than that, I don’t think so.”

 

In response, the Doctor shook his head and slapped his forehead lightly with his open palm. “Nooo. Hardly a thing then.” _Sarcastic. Check._

 

We walked into the console room and found Jack crouched under the central tower. He was inspecting the wiring or something. He saw us and asked, “What’s going on with the TARDIS? She sounds a bit strange to me. She okay?”

 

“Ya. She’s still a bit unsteady. You know, after the Bad Wolf thing. It must have taken a lot out of her.”

 

“Do you think she had anything to do with it? Or was it all Rose?”

 

“Oh, I’m certain she had something to do with it. Rose wouldn’t have been able to do it on her own. She didn’t know how to open the heart. She had to have help.”

 

“You think the TARDIS helped Rose do that?” I asked, shocked.

 

“Oh, ya. She has her own plans. She’s really quite stubborn sometimes. Won’t listen to me. Sends me where ever she wants me to go.”

 

“Bossy.” I suggested.

 

He nodded. “Bossy, indeed,” he agreed.

 

“Would you like to come down, see the hub?” Jack offered. Hopeful.

 

“No. Thank you. No. I need to pick up Rose.” He didn’t do that. Well, he never used to. Dinner at Rose’s was an exception. That’s what he told himself.

 

Jack nodded. “Sure.” Disappointed. “Another time.”

 

“Definitely,” the Doctor confirmed with a tight smile.

 

“Jack, take care of him. He needs some help. He needs to learn how to protect himself. And he’ll need help with both.”

 

Jack canted his head and frowned a little. He wondered, _both?_ “I know. Don’t worry. I’ll take care of him. He stepped closer and wrapped his arm around me, possessively.”

 

“And you.” The Doctor pointed at my chest. “You be careful. For goodness sake. Be careful.”

 

“I will.” I assured him. Then distracted, I said, “See you soon.”

 

“Really?” Jack pulled back, held me at arm’s length.

 

I flinched. I nodded.

 

“Oh, that’s not good.” Jack hissed. Hugged me tighter.

 

The Doctor raised an eyebrow majestically. Understanding dawned. He stuck his fingers in his ears and started making noises to block out my words.

 

I smiled. I thought, _ah, to be 900 years old_. He must regress back to childhood every so often.

 

I detached myself from Jack’s embrace and I hugged the Doctor warmly. I whispered in his ear, “Thank you. For coming. It means so much. You have no idea. Thank you.” He patted my back. “Oh, and Doctor? Take care of Rose.”

 

He replied quickly. “I’ll do my best.” He stared at me intently and frowned. Mentally, he chanted, _I’m a Time Lord. Time is not the boss of me. I’m a Time Lord_ … Aloud, he said, “We’ll talk later.”

 

Jack hugged him too.

 

The Doctor walked us out, put an arm on both of us. “Remember, you two. Make the most of every day.”

 

“We will.” We told him as we stepped out into the real world. We turned and waved again.

 

The Doctor stood in the doorway; he stroked the frame. Then he called out, “The world is your oyster—so make lemonade!” He grinned and slammed the little blue door shut. Moments later, the TARDIS disappeared.

 

**_Continued in… 22 – That Kind of Secret_ **

_  
_


	22. That Kind of Secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> December 27, 2005
> 
> * References to TW2.7-Reset and TW2.13-Exit Wounds

DECEMBER 27, 2005

 **OWEN STOMPED TOWARDS ME.** He stopped abruptly when he reached the front of my desk. “What’s up with Jack?” he demanded crossly. He stood there, scowling, clutching his folder in one hand. The other was hanging at his side; his fist clenched tightly. He was unshaven, crumpled and scruffy looking. Christmas day, had taken its toll. Belatedly, I realized he was waiting for me to answer. Imagine my surprise, it wasn’t a rhetorical question.

 

Mere moments ago, with his head buried in a file Owen had passed by my desk on his way up to Jack’s office. I saw him trot up the stairs, head still down, mind on his paperwork. I saw him open the door, slip in, close the door. Then I went back to my report. I got a chance to type about twenty words before he came back out, obviously dissatisfied. He scowled like a champion, our Owen. It wasn’t hard to tell when he was annoyed.

 

Jack sat at his desk, unable to get any work done. It wasn’t because of a crisis. It wasn’t even a matter of boredom. His mind was unwinding, rolling his thoughts around, testing them out, trying to get used to them. Eventually, he’d wind everything back up and put it back where it belonged. But not just yet.

 

Every single thing had changed. A month ago, I told him the Doctor would come – _in a few years_. It had given him hope. He’d felt at peace. He’d been… content. Content to wait a few more years for answers. I had warned him, he remembered, I might be wrong. Things change. They always change. Sometimes just the act of looking at something changes it. Sometimes just thinking about looking at something changes it. Our will is a powerful and entirely immeasurable thing. Our will made manifest is magnificent. It could be mistaken for a miracle. It could _be_ a miracle.

 

His mind wasn’t playing along. Not like it usually did. Normally, he could swing with the punches like a pro. He’d done it for years. But this time, his mind was rebelling. The Doctor had come and he’d come with answers. He had begged for forgiveness. He had explained and he had confided a terrible secret. It was Rose. It was all because of her. She’d killed the Daleks; she’d ended the Time War once and for all. She’d saved the Doctor—she’d saved every living soul in the Solar System and she’d made him immortal. And she didn’t even remember doing it. He could never tell her, he wouldn’t. If she knew, she’d never forgive herself for turning him into this freak of nature. She’d brought him back to life with the power of the Time Vortex coursing through her veins. But she’d done it too well. Now, he could never die. And the Doctor had died because of it. He’d died, given his life to save her. And she’d never know.

 

Jack sat, for hours, in silence. I let him. I watched and I waited but I let him alone while he worked through the ultimate truth he’d been seeking for hundreds of years. Tosh and Owen, having gone through a trauma themselves so recently however, were out of patience, unaware of our recent visitor and therefore less inclined to wait. Owen, like the rest of us, had heaps of paperwork to complete as a result of our _Annual Alien Christmas Invasion_. He needed Jack’s signature so he could submit it and get it out of his life. So when he went to Jack, asked him to review and sign his report, he’d been shocked by Jack’s blank, distant stare. He hadn’t heard a word. So, Owen repeated himself and waited. Jack took the report, signed the bottom and handed it back to him without blinking. Owen backed out of the office, mumbled his thanks, and walked straight towards me.

 

Tosh was still working through her report and it was going rather slowly. She couldn’t seem to operate at normal speed. Her body was exhausted, rung out, but she couldn’t sit still long enough to recuperate. She was pacey, achy and downright twitchy at times. She’d noticed his deep, somber state right away. She was hyper-aware of her coworkers today. She’d seen Owen’s ascent and then his silent retreat. She’d seen the concern on Owen’s face too. She slid her chair closer to mine and added her voice to the mix. “He hasn’t come out all day, Ianto. What’s happened? Is something wrong?” She fired off a few questions and I could tell it was only the beginning. Her agitation provided an excellent fuel source for directed concern and care.

 

I looked up at his office, just a flight of stairs away. His door was still closed. I looked to Owen and Tosh. “We had a visitor yesterday,” I confided. I saw concern on their faces. “He got some bad news. I think he just needs some time to deal with it. He’ll be okay.” I tried to reassure. It didn’t help. Tosh frowned and  looked less than convinced.

 

“What kind of visitor?” Owen asked, his voice even and measured.

 

I hesitated. Did Jack want me to tell them? I didn’t know. “An old friend. Someone from his past.”

 

“Oh, I see,” said Tosh. She didn’t but it was enough for now. Owen continued to frown but let it go. Tosh nodded, turned and then promptly brought up the CCTV footage from Boxing Day and started scanning for clues. She let it run in a tiny screen in the corner of her desktop. She resumed the slow and arduous typing of her report and watched the CCTV replay out of the corner of her eye.

 

I stood up, made some fresh coffee and went up to Jack’s office. I knocked and cracked the door. “Jack? Can I come in?”

 

“Yes. Yes, come in,” he said absentmindedly. He waved me in. He had no idea we were so worried.

 

“Jack, Tosh and Owen are getting concerned. You haven’t left your office all day. You’ve barely spoken. And you look troubled. They don’t understand. I told them you had some bad news and just needed some time to think. I hope that’s okay.”

 

He nodded. “Ya, that’s fine. Thank you.” His smile was an after-thought.

 

“Anything I can do?” I asked hopefully.

 

He shook his head. “No. I’m fine. Just thinking. I’m trying to wrap my head around this.” He steepled his fingers in front of his chin. He faced me squarely, considered. “I have a question,” he began. “A month ago, you told me you thought he’d be here in a couple of years.” _Great minds_ , I thought. “But he showed up. That was unexpected wasn’t it?”

 

I nodded. “Yes, totally.”

 

“Something’s changed.”

 

I nodded. “Definitely.” I agreed. I’d been thinking along the same lines and it was troubling. But this was bound to happen sooner or later. If you change something, it causes ripples. I knew our first meeting would have repercussions, I just didn’t know what they would be. The ‘right kind of Doctor’ had come looking for him and he’d come much earlier than expected.

 

“You warned me this might happen. I just didn’t believe it at the time.” He stopped. “I never thought… not in a million years… it was Rose.”

 

“I hope she’s all right? Do you think she’s been injured by this?”

 

“No, he would’ve said. He was the one who died.” He spoke quietly. “Well, him and me,” he added after a moment’s pause.

 

“It must have been hard. Going over those memories.”

 

“It was a very long time ago.” He sighed. “It was so long ago and I remember it like it was yesterday.”

 

“For him, it was. I can’t believe it just happened for him. That’s so fucked up.” I was getting a timey-wimey headache again.

 

“All this time, I thought maybe I did something wrong.” The pain on his face tore at his features. “I thought I’d failed him. Then I just hated him for leaving me behind. It turns out he came straight here, to Earth, to this time even.”

 

“And saved us all, again.” I added wistfully.

 

“Yep. Again.” He agreed, quietly.

 

I saw the tension in his face. I thought I might try to help. That’s what I do. “What are you gonna do?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Well. I get that you’re processing. It’s a lot to take in. But it seems like you’re trying to come to a decision of some kind.”

 

“How come you’re so clever?” He smiled and leaned back in his chair. “You know me well. Better than anyone ever has.”

 

His words triggered a spark of warmth; it spread and heated my chest and swam in my belly. Pleasure. “Thank you, Jack. That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.” I smiled broadly. I felt my eyes getting a little misty. I’m a sappy sap that oozes sap.

 

He smiled. He thought a moment longer. “You may be right, Ianto. I’m just not sure what it is yet.”

 

I nodded. “Well, if you need to bounce anything around, I’m here.” I stood up and sent him one last smile before I left him alone with his thoughts.

 

 

 

>  
> 
> * * *
> 
> _TW    Ianto’s Journal    TW    Ianto’s Journal   TW_
> 
> * * *
> 
>  
> 
> _December 27, 2005_
> 
> I haven’t written in… forever. What a hellish week. It’s got to get better. I’ve got this pounding in my brain pan that just won’t quit. It’s much better than it was. But it’s still there. It makes it so hard to think. I can only sleep if Jack’s next to me. I hate sleeping alone. My place is like a tomb without him. I hate his damn bed. Shopping to do asap.
> 
>  
> 
> I had a moment this morning in his office. I almost lost my composure. He said the nicest thing. I’ve never felt so _pleased_. He’s never said anything so… thoughtful… so romantic to me before. I thought my heart would leap out of my throat. I’m such a sap. I can’t help it. I’m utterly lost. I’m so utterly his. And I’m so scared. I know we have hell to come. So many bad things to come. Must keep a positive mental attitude. That’s what they say.
> 
>  
> 
> It’s so quiet here. They’ve gone for lunch. I’ve gone off by myself. I’ve found my favourite spot. This is where I sat the first time I stalked the Doctor. I love this seat. Makes me feel in control. Makes me remember that I have a plan. And the plan is working. I just need to keep on top of things. And hopefully not go mad in the meantime. I really need someone to talk to . I wish I could. Sometimes I feel so utterly alone. I wish I could tell him. He’d understand. He’s the only one who could.
> 
> **TO DO:** shopping at Ikea—beds. Bring Jack home tonight.
> 
>  
> 
> * * *
> 
> _TW    Ianto’s Journal    TW    Ianto’s Journal   TW_
> 
> * * *
> 
>  
> 
>  

**OWEN AND TOSH WERE HUDDLED BEHIND HER DESK.** She pointed to the screen and Owen squinted and then scowled. They exchanged a few words and then I felt their eyes track my movements across the floor in unison. Tosh looked at Owen and she quirked an eyebrow. _Sexy_ , I thought. I saw the subtle nod. I wasn’t surprised when they cornered me near the scanner. Nice teamwork.

 

“We saw it.” Tosh declared, in hushed tones. “We know who your visitor was.” She crossed her arms and jutted out a hip. Owen stood slightly behind the other hip as backup.

 

“Yes?” I said noncommittally. I was still working out what to tell them.

 

“Yes, Ianto.” She said a little more forcefully. I’d pissed her off. “And we want to know what the hell is going on!” She hissed. “Whenever he shows up there’s always trouble! So spill!”

 

I handed her a coffee. She took it. But she huffed in annoyance. She’d cursed her dependence on my coffee, time and time again. Today was one of those days. “Thank you.” She mustered politely, as always. “But I still want to know what’s going on.” I smiled.

 

“Owen? Would you like a cup?” I asked sweetly. Damn, I’m good.

 

He tried to hold out. You know, the principle of the thing. His inner strength crumbled within seconds. “Ya, thanks.” He chanced a sly look at Tosh, apology in his eye. But what could she say?

 

“Alright.” I said quietly. “Come with me.” I led them to the boardroom. We sat around the end of the table and they proceeded to drill me for answers.

 

“Why was the Doctor here?” Tosh asked again.

 

“To see Jack and me.” I told her simply. I had every intention of sticking to the bare facts. She frowned and made a ‘go on’ gesture. “It’s private. Doesn’t have anything to do with a case. It won’t impact you two at all. There is no catastrophe to deal with either. Just a personal visit. I swear it.” I took a sip of coffee. Tried to look relaxed.

 

Owen cleared his throat. His turn, apparently. “How come you know so much?” He leaned forward. “And don’t go giving us some cock and bull story about ‘need to know’. We _deserve_ to know Ianto. It affects us directly.” He made a good argument. But he had to accept my position, one way or another.

 

I let out a long breath. “Okay. I see your point. Both of you. You’re right. You do deserve to know the whole truth. It does affect you. It would make things so much simpler.” I wanted them to know I saw their side of the argument. “But let me ask you this. Do you know when Jack’s from? Either of you.”

 

They looked at each other and shrugged. “No.” Tosh admitted reluctantly. “But what’s that got to do with this?” she demanded. She was determined not to get side-tracked.

 

I made a ‘humour me’ gesture and went on. “Do you know where he was born?” Two more shakes. “Do you think he keeps things from you?” I continued.

 

“Of course he does.” Owen answered quickly. Bitter.

 

“Why?” I asked simply.

 

“Well, I guess he’s private.” Tosh suggested.

 

My turn to shrug. “Well, yes. He is private. But what I mean is he has a lot of knowledge about technology—alien tech—other races–that he couldn’t possibly have learned on Earth. Wouldn’t you agree?”

 

 **JACK FROWNED AND LEANED CLOSER** to the screen. He turned the volume up. With elbows on his desk and fists clenched in front of his mouth, he sat watching our conversation unfold,  hoping I wouldn’t betray his confidence.

 

“Yes. Absolutely.” Tosh knew where I was going. She didn’t like it one bit.

 

“So why doesn’t he just tell us how to develop all this alien tech so we can speed up the Earth’s technological advancements?” I furthered my argument.

 

Tosh was irritated. “There’s no need to be condescending! I’m perfectly aware that he has to keep certain information secret—from everybody— _Universe imploding_ and all that.” She waved her hand through the air. Damn you Universe.

 

“So if you can accept that—and in my opinion _that’s huge_ —then why can’t you accept that I have knowledge that I can’t share with anybody either?” I begged. I just wanted them to understand. If they couldn’t understand then at least I wished they would trust me.

 

“You told Jack!” Owen accused. He set his cup down abruptly, coffee sloshed over the rim.

 

“No, I didn’t!” I retorted, angry and more than a little fed up.

 

Silence. “Really?” Tosh couldn’t believe it. Owen was uneasy.

 

“Really.” I assured them. There was a finality in my tone. I’m sure they heard it. “No one. Not even Jack.” I sighed. “I wish I could.” My eyes pleaded for understanding. “There are things…” I looked down into my cup. I thought of Tosh, bleeding on the floor. I thought of Owen, a hole through his heart. I gulped.

 

 **IN HIS OFFICE, JACK SHIFTED FORWARD**. Concern and fear pinched his heart. He could see my face. He knew that look. Unfortunately, so too did Tosh and Owen. I just didn’t know it yet.

 

I steadied myself and continued. “There are things and events I wish I could share with you.” I looked them each in the eye. My eyes rested on Tosh. “I really do, Tosh.” I looked down again. My words came out in a whisper. “These secrets are heavy. They’re a burden. It’s exhausting.” Owen nodded. He could just imagine the horrors I’d been alluded to. Tosh felt remorse at her harsh words and for her lack of trust.

 

“I’m sorry Ianto.” She began reluctantly. “I should’ve been more trusting—more understanding of your situation. I didn’t think of it like that.” Owen murmured his agreement. She got up and walked around the table, bent down in front of me and placed a hand over mine. “I was just worried that you were keeping secrets. I mean, you’re human. And you’re not like Jack.” I flinched slightly. She frowned. “You know what I mean, Ianto.” She paused, huffed out a breath. “I didn’t realize it was ‘ _that’_ kind of secret.” She rolled her eyes. _Bloody Torchwood_. “I’m sorry.” She whispered.

 

 **JACK LEANED BACK IN HIS WOBBLY CHAIR.** He propped his feet up on the edge of his messy desk and crossed his legs at the ankle. The CCTV feed was still playing and he watched as Tosh and Owen gathered up their cups and quietly slunk out of the room. He ran his finger tip over his bottom lip as he often did when deep in thought.

 

For some reason, as I was tidying up, my eyes were drawn to the camera mounted high in the corner. I snorted and smirked. The red light was blinking. _Of course,_ I thought. He’d be watching. I rose an eyebrow eloquently and smiled at the camera. I heard Jack’s full-bellied laugh as it danced through the hub. _Busted.  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's the end of part two. Part three is almost finished. I will begin posting it very soon. 
> 
> I'd like to thank you for reading. And to all those lovely people who left a comment or a kudo please know that your efforts are truly appreciated. It really helps knowing that you're enjoying the story. 
> 
> Kindest regards,  
> Blue


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